Arts·Panel

Is Netflix ruining love for everyone?

Netflix launches its all-star-esque reality dating show Perfect Match, bringing familiar faces from past hits like Love is Blind and The Circle to a remote island to find love. Culture critic Amil Niazi, author Jael Richardson and Sexy Beast cast member Tamiko Sianen review the highly-anticipated series, and discuss how reality show dating has grown and evolved in recent years.

Our panel of reality dating show experts debate whether or not you can find your perfect match on TV

Perfect Match. (L to R) Colony Reeves, Dom Gabrielh in episode 06 of Perfect Match. Cr. Courtesy of Netflix / © 2023 Netflix, Inc.
Perfect Match. (L to R) Colony Reeves, Dom Gabrielh in episode 06 of Perfect Match. Cr. Courtesy of Netflix / © 2023 Netflix, Inc. (© 2023 Netflix, Inc.)

Love is in the air and on our screens this Valentine's Day, thanks to Netflix's relentless slate of reality dating shows.

The streaming service has given us original series like Love is Blind, Too Hot To Handle, The Ultimatum. Now, there's Perfect Match.

Described by some as "the Hunger Games of dating shows," Perfect Match asks memorable contestants from various Netflix reality dating shows to take one more chance on love. 

The messiest contestants from the most chaotic dating show formats out there today, on a romantic island. What could go wrong?

Culture writer Amil Niazi, author Jael Richardson and former Sexy Beasts contestant Tamiko Sianen joined Elamin Abdelmahmoud to get into Netflix's latest offering, and what our societal obsession with watching hot people try and fail to find love says about us.

We've included some highlights below, edited for length and clarity. For the full discussion, listen and follow the Commotion with Elamin Abdelmahmoud podcast, on your favourite podcast player.

Elamin: The first four episodes [of Perfect Match] drop today. I'm excited to have you all here to get into this. Jael, I'm going to start with you because we've all noticed Netflix building this industrial complex of reality shows over the past few years. They have this all-star-style, right? They bring back all the people that everybody hated from other shows, and they put them together in a show. Now we've got Perfect Match. You've seen the first few episodes. What do you think?

Jael: Look, I have to start by saying I love reality dating shows. I'm OG Bachelor, I've watched since Alex, so I am here for this. I'm going to label this show "irri-taining." It's a term I saw online, which is like, "it's irritating and I will still watch it." And it's because the premise is flawed from the start. You've got the worst characters from all the other shows and seasons, and you're bringing them together on the premise that they're finding their perfect match? But from the start, you have 10 people who all have to match up, they all have to hook up and they all have to go off to a room within, it seems, like a few hours, maybe. And so right from the beginning you have some people who are default like, "I'm afraid to be left with no one, so let's just do this," and then they feel trapped in these relationships. So the whole premise is flawed, and I don't know how the thesis statement of this is that they're trying to find their perfect match.

Elamin: Amil, do you buy the thesis statement of the show?

Amil: The thing is, they're just messing with us, right? And that's okay. It's okay to mess with us, because I think the underlying premise actually is, "what happens if you take all of the villains from these shows?" You know, usually you have to have some charmers, some people you're rooting for — the underdogs. But if everyone was just a baddie, what's going to happen? I think that's the real premise, and that's what keeps us watching because of course, they're not going to find their perfect match. Even on The Bachelor, which is all about finding love, the hit rate is not so hot.

Elamin: Tamiko, I want to pick up on something Amil just said there, this idea of whether these people are looking for love. Does anyone on Perfect Match feel like they're genuinely like, "I'm just here to find my other half"? Do you buy it, or are they just there to sort of boost their social media numbers?

Tamiko: It was funny because one of the contestants on there I actually know from Sexy Beasts and actually we are friends in the real world. So watching her, it was so interesting, and I didn't even know she was free. I started messaging her, being like, "I see you! I know you're out here again trying to find the same thing you're trying to find on our show!" But even still watching her, I was like, is she doing it the right way? I don't know. 

Elamin: I guess the larger question is, do you need to buy into the premise that these people are trying to find love in order to enjoy the show? Or does that actually not impact it at all for you?

Tamiko: I think for this show in particular, you don't need to necessarily believe it. I think you've just got to roll with them and be like, well, maybe? Maybe they can convince themselves to that point?

Amil: Well, this is the creation of 20 years of The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise. This is what Netflix has done to dating shows — they have taken away that sense of naivete, that sense of vulnerability, and made it so that it's a branding exercise.

Elamin: But what's bothersome to me about it, Amil, is that Netflix has sort of turned it into this industry that we're talking about, but at the core of The Bachelor is still, sort of, the heterosexual marriage, the idea of pursuing family, like, that is still something that The Bachelor has been powered by for 20 years — that's fundamentally different than watching "The Hunger Games of dating."

Amil: Yes, yes.

Elamin: Right. The premise is entirely a different thing and people seem to be tuning in to this just as much.

Amil: Yes. And I think that that feeds such a different part of us. You know, whereas Jael is talking about that beauty of and the messiness of love that's inherent — or at least we want it to be inherent — in The Bachelor and shows like that, Netflix is so cynical. Even the fact that they need to have these contrived premises like, "what if dating but you're a monster?" or, "what if dating but you never see the person?" And we all know that none of that's necessary. That's why Love Island is so perfect. It's just attractive, young, silly people hooking up, and we watch every day. It's mundane, it's boring, it's banal — the way that love often is.

You can listen to the full discussion from today's show on CBC Listen or on our podcast, Commotion with Elamin Abdelmahmoud, available wherever you get your podcasts.