Benefits with Friends tackle topics besties never touch

Do you become best friends with someone because you think they're the coolest, or do you value their friendship because you like the same stuff? 

Comedians Mae Martin and Sabrina Jalees — both Canadians living in Los Angeles — are the bestest of friends and yet, they have extremely different takes on a whole range of things. They're so tight Martin even has a tattoo of Jalees on their body. 

The duo has a new podcast out today on Audible Originals called Benefits with Friends, where they tackle topics so many best friends never touch — from money, to sex, to culture.

Martin and Jalees join host Elamin Abdelmahmoud to give listeners a snippet of what they'll expect to hear on their new show. 

We've included some highlights below, edited for length and clarity. For the full discussion, plus a look into The Great Canadian Pottery Thrown Down, hosted by Seth Rogen, listen and follow the Commotion with Elamin Abdelmahmoud podcast on your favourite podcast player.

LISTEN | Today's episode on YouTube:

Elamin: Can I get a through line of this friendship between the two of you? Mae, do you want to kick us off?

Mae: The year is 2002, probably, in Toronto at Second City. And I was doing sketch comedy with two of my friends. I was maybe 15. And I knew that there was another teenager on the scene that everyone was talking about: Sabrina Jalees. I was like, 'I will destroy her.' 

I was so stressed that we both were going to be competing for the title of the youngest person around. Then we did a show together and I realized we really got along and became very, very close and had really similar vibes. Then flash forward, we go to Greece and we both get engaged on the same trip to our girlfriends. We've just had parallel lives and lived in different cities, but now we're in the same city, finally.

Sabrina: Do you mind if I just do a little flashback to what was happening for me? 

Elamin: Love a flashback

Sabrina: I'm in Ms. Grant's drama class, and Ms. Grant hands me the North York Post. There's an article about some young comedians, and I'm like, "These mother----!!" I very much felt this feud as well. And then I'm standing and watching Mae perform with their sketchmates and I am holding the straps in my backpack. And every piece of that seething energy turns into me being enamoured and addicted. I've been drawn [to them] ever since.

Elamin: You guys are doing this while also laughing, while also recording it for an audience, right? You're not performing a friendship, but you know that it's going to be shared in front of people in a way. And so, is it always funny when you guys disagree? 

Sabrina: It's not always funny. I guess in a way, we run so others can walk. But no, there definitely were times while recording where it felt like the tension was thick.

Mae: Then we would hug after, or I would sit on Sabrina's lap like a baby. I think what I liked about doing this was, when someone knows you so well, you can't really perform or be inauthentic because they're going to call you on it. So I think you do see a pretty vulnerable version of both of us. 

Elamin: Can I just ask why? Why is it important for you that people are able to show up in friendships entirely themselves? Maybe I'll start with you, Mae.

Mae: Aside from Sabrina and a couple other people, for the majority of my life, most of my best friends have been straight men. Those are my guys and I see them struggling to connect in that way sometimes with each other. I always connected that way with them, but I always want them to. I think men's mental health is super important and I think men should talk.

Also I think, in today's world, sometimes you rely so much on your partner and they need to be everything to you and be your best friend and your therapist and your sexual partner and all these things. That's a big ask for one person. 

Elamin: I love that answer. I love that you went earnest with it. Sabrina, what's your take on this? 

Sabrina: The goody goody jewels of life is when you feel a little bit nervous or shy about sharing something about you that makes you feel lonely. But then you realize in sharing it, even if your friend doesn't connect in the exact same way, it's like a magic powder on top that turns it into connection and makes these things that could feel embarrassing into these empowering stories that make us who we are. 

In one of the episodes, we were talking about parenting and fertility. I suffered a miscarriage at three and a half months a couple of years ago. And in talking about it on the podcast with Mae, with my friends and just being open about this thing that I was going through, that historically, people are so quiet about, it really helped me to connect with other people that had the same experience. I feel like the power of friendship is being able to take out these little tchotchkes in your sadness toolbox and polish them up, and they actually are just the pieces and stories that make you you.

You can listen to the full discussion from today's show on CBC Listen or on our podcast, Commotion with Elamin Abdelmahmoud, available wherever you get your podcasts.

Panel produced by Jess Low