Disabled, queer and sexy: The game-changing representation of Netflix's series Special

Spoiler alert: this article mentions key plot points of the series.

Sitting in my wheelchair watching Ryan O'Connell's Netflix series Special, I felt like I was coming home.

In the first 20 seconds of the show, the main character used the words "cerebral palsy." He was talking about my disability — the same impairment I have. Up until now, I had only ever heard the words "cerebral palsy" used in shows like Grey's Anatomy or ER to highlight how sick or how tragic their lives must be. But here I was, watching a character with cerebral palsy talk about cerebral palsy.

The show centres around Ryan (played by O'Connell himself), a 20-something who lives in Los Angeles with his mother as he tries to navigate his sexuality as an out gay man — and an out gay man who is also disabled. You might think that based on that description, the show would be full of uplifting, positive scenes of this character triumphing over his disability, right? Well, you would be wrong. Part of why I love this show is because while disability does play a pivotal role in the story, it isn't viewed from the lens of an able-bodied person. O'Connell has used his personal experiences as a gay disabled man to craft a series that speaks uniquely to that journey — and that is crucial.

The series follows Ryan as he gets an internship at a trendy LA media outlet, where he is afraid to tell his co-workers about his cerebral palsy — so he lies and says that his condition is from being hit by a car. Watching this character do everything he can to minimize his disability for the comfort of everyone else around him really resonated with me. We never get to see disabled characters work through their own ableism onscreen, and this show gives that narrative a clear, concise voice.

We also get to see a gay disabled character navigate sex — something we have never seen on a television show until now. These scenes were some of my absolute favourite moments of television, maybe ever if I'm honest. As I watched this character navigate his way through the able-bodied gay world in search of sex and connection, I felt like O'Connell had written this storyline out of my own life.

From his first potential hookup telling him that he was "an interesting kisser" only to reject him right after (been there!), to the trepidations he has about hiring a sex worker as a disabled person, O'Connell doesn't shy away from the real stuff that disabled people go through, opting to put that front and centre in the show. In one scene where his character is trying to figure out a comfortable sex position that is accessible to his disabled body, the sex worker asks him whether or not he can open his legs at all. I watched that scene and cringed, thinking back to all the times where that has happened to me; to finally see that happen to someone else, and to know that I wasn't alone in those moments as a disabled person, felt so good. I also loved seeing a gay disabled man's body onscreen for the first time ever actually having sex. You know those moments when you watch a show and you realize that something iconic has happened? Yeah, that was this scene for me.

What I love about Ryan is that he isn't a perfect, cookie-cutter version of what a disabled character is expected to be. The character wasn't written to be likable, or to send a message to able-bodied audience members as some type of "inspiration porn." He's meant to be real — and real people, disabled or not, make mistakes. We see a great example of this when Ryan goes on a date with a deaf guy only to leave halfway through, freaked out that his date brought an interpreter along — another example of him struggling with his own internalized ableism.

I also appreciated that the show doesn't try to be everything to everyone. It simply tells one story; nothing more, nothing less. It doesn't try to lump every single disabled experience into the story — it shows one disabled person living their life and trying to figure things out, and using a sardonic, witty humour while doing it.

Ryan O'Connell's Special is a game-changer — full stop. With this show, O'Connell has put sex, queerness, disability and comedy onscreen in a way that has simply never been done before. Most importantly, though, he's shown that when you produce a show using a disabled eye, you can create something that we all can come home to — disabled and non-disabled viewers alike.