Maria Bamford finds the light in dark comedy, mental illness and cults
The actor and comedian’s new memoir takes readers into her ‘quest to belong anywhere’
Warning: This story contains discussion of suicide.
The term "dark comedy" gets bandied around a lot, but beyond its shock value, this kind of humour can be a great way to open discussions about subjects that many people feel uncomfortable talking about, like mental illness.
In Maria Bamford's new memoir, Sure, I'll Join Your Cult: A Memoir of Mental Illness and the Quest to Belong Anywhere, the actor and comedian offers a brutally honest reflection on show business, mental health and the comfort of having a rigid belief system.
From the beginning of her stand-up career, Bamford has been candid about her struggle with mental health, but more recently, she's noticed other comedians doing the same.
"I've seen some great comedians who are describing mental health experiences like schizophrenia," Bamford says in an interview with Q's Tom Power.
"I had never heard anybody talk about schizophrenia on stage, and in the past couple of years, I think there's a number of comedians with schizophrenia, which is just so great. Rather than that being a punch line for jokes, which it so often has been … now people can say what their experience actually is."
In a chapter titled "The Cult of Mental Health Care," Bamford describes checking herself into a psychiatric hospital on three separate occasions over the course of 18 months. She also recounts her experience with the "cults" she's been a part of, including but not limited to Debtors Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, and Overeaters Anonymous.
"All the 12-step groups, some people might say that they are not [cults], but they definitely are a certain society with some pretty hard rules," she lightheartedly tells Power.
"It's one of the only mental health things that we have that's available that is free. It's peer-led counseling, which is not the greatest idea, and also it is Judeo-Christian language, paternalistic sort of sounding, so not perfect, but I definitely do only listen to the parts that I like…. I'm an atheist, but I do find it is a cognitive behavioral program that's been very helpful to me."
The last chapter of Bamford's memoir, "Obligatory Suicide Disclaimer," offers an empathetic perspective on suicide that can only have been written by someone who's been in that situation themself.
"When I've [been] in a place of wanting to kill myself and had plans, I think the anger of others or the judgment hasn't been helpful — or people saying, 'You can go! Go anytime,'" she says with a laugh.
"You just don't know how much suffering someone has been putting up with for how long, and how bad it feels…. It's like any illness, to really celebrate how strong people have been. I had no idea before my breakdown in 2011 how bad it could be and for how long, and that was only a year. I get it, you know, I just get it."
As a person with lived experience with mental illness, Bamford tells Power she recently trained as a peer advocate to offer support to those who are in crisis or thinking about suicide.
"We can help each other on some level," she says. "It'd be preferable for everybody to see a professional, but sometimes that's not there.
"I joke in the book, 'Call f–king anybody!' But I have called a Hertz Rent-a-Car in my neighbourhood. They picked up on the first ring. She said, 'All I can do is lease you a car.' But then before hanging up on me, she did say, 'I believe every human life has value. You take care.' Just keep talking. As my friend Jackie Kashian says, 'Mumble in any direction.'"
If you or someone you know is struggling, here's where to get help:
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Talk Suicide Canada: 1-833-456-4566 (phone) | 45645 (text between 4 p.m. and midnight ET).
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Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 (phone), live chat counselling on the website.
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Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention: Find a 24-hour crisis centre.
This guide from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health outlines how to talk about suicide with someone you're worried about.
The full interview with Maria Bamford is available on our podcast, Q with Tom Power. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
Interview with Maria Bamford produced by Kaitlyn Swan.