5 monster truck rallies that do NOT pass the Bechdel test

It's of crucial importance that women are adequately represented as full and complete beings in our entertainment. The Bechdel test provides us with a quick and easy way to determine whether this is taking place:

In order to pass the Bechdel test, a work must:

• feature at least two women;
• who have names;
• who talk to each other;
• about something other than a man

Sure, we've been applying this test to movies, TV shows, and books, but has anyone thought to apply it to monster truck rallies? No? Well, that massive oversight stops now. Here are five recent monster truck rallies that utterly failed the Bechdel test and deeply disappointed women in every corner of the globe.

1. The 2017 Monster Jam XVII at the Budweiser Gardens in London, Ontario

Uh oh! Looks like once again, it's 10 men all right, all named Viper Pit, driving enormous trucks around in an enormously destructive fashion. 40 minutes in, we are still trying to keep an open mind but so far there are ZERO women, and UHHHH, ZERO mention of the way intersectional feminism has begun to eclipse the second-wave feminism Betty Friedan explored in The Feminine Mystique. Not a good look, guys.

2. The 2018 Monster Jam in Sydney, Australia

Whoa, you guys. Didn't notice NEARLY enough discussion of the gender pay gap between the driver of Rammunition and Grave Digger, by which I mean I noticed exactly none. Like, uh, hello? Guys? It's the Me Too era. Get some female drivers and get them talking about systemic inequities in the flippin' workplace already.

3. The 2018 Freestyle Jam in Toledo, Ohio

Ugh, this one came SO CLOSE when two of the monster truck drivers parallel-parked right beside each other in the middle of the rally and started discussing the Bechdel test itself through their truck windows!! Unfortunately, they were both men: reigning champion Darius Trucker and opponent Mini Driver.

4. The 2016 Monster Jam World Finals in Winnipeg, Manitoba

FINALLY, we found a monster truck rally where a whopping FOUR of the 22 drivers are women. HOWEVER: Give me fifty breaks. Nowhere in this little Hot Wheels Fantasy Taken Entirely Too Far do we hear Bone Disruptor, Bone Cruncher, Bone Density, OR Bone Density Scan Appointment congratulate each other on the recent publication of a novel, or even what SPF they use in their moisturizer. Nope. It's still 200% discussion of male truck drivers they admire, hate, or plan to beat. BORRRRRINGGGGG.

5. The 2017 Monst-Her Truckstravaganza in Paris, France

Oho! What's this! An ALL-FEMALE lineup at a monster truck rally?! Well this SOUNDED promising, yet moments before driver Gear-a Knightley was about to take on her opponent Wheel & Grace, an announcement suddenly came over the loudspeaker that Gear-a was sick with truck elbow and was going to be replaced with MALE DRIVER Road Stewart. GREAT. Now there's zero chance of Bechdelian glory. Ugh. Bye.

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