Atheist kid rejects idea of snow angels, just lays there
LONDON, ON—Becky Moffat, 5, is making waves by refusing to wave her limbs around.
Moffat's teacher, Mr. McFarlane, recently brought his class outside for a little unscheduled fun in the snow.
"We haven't had a lot of snowfall this year, so I thought it would be nice to bring the kids out to make snow angels," McFarlane explains. "Plus, I really enjoy watching some of the kids struggle to get their mittens on. One of 'em always cries."
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Moffat, however, didn't appreciate this spontaneous escape from the classroom.
"I don't need any religious subtext in my playtime," Moffat begins. "I don't believe in God, I don't believe in angels, and I do believe McFarlane only brought us out here so he could sneak a cigarette."
Moffat, oddly wise for her years, says that she also finds the imagery of snow angels strange and dark.
"It's so morbid," Moffat says. "Angels are dead. The schoolyard looks like an episode of CSI right now. Maybe we should lie down and trace chalk outlines around each other too! That might be fun!"
Despite McFarlane's best efforts, he was unable to coerce Moffat into participating.
I do believe McFarlane only brought us out here so he could sneak a cigarette.
"Look, I know my rights," Moffat proclaims. "Dude can't touch me. Dude can't make me do poop. Maybe he should lay face down on the ground and make a snow idiot. I'm not doing his stupid horizontal jumping jacks."
Moffat believes there are other snow-oriented activities that would be a better use of time.
"We should have had a snowball fight. There's something that will prepare you for the real world. People throwing things in your face and then, just when you think you're safe? Your friend pings you in the back of the head because they think it's funny."
"Plus, the last time I got in a snowball fight I got hit with a rock, it knocked a tooth out, and the tooth fairy gave me three whole dollars!" Moffat beams.
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