Couple files for marriage citing irreconcilable similarities

VANCOUVER, BC—After spending several hours with their respective attorneys, Graham Davies and his fiancé Shauna Ford have officially announced that they will be filing for marriage.

"At the moment it looks like a fair, peaceful settlement can be agreed to wherein we are legally obligated to spend the rest of our lives together," Davies said, waving a leather-bound prenuptial agreement.

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With irreconcilable similarities listed as the official reason for the marriage, the couple becomes pensive.

"Sometimes in life, one person wants baked beans, and the other person, for whatever reason, happens to also really, really want baked beans," Davies pontificates. "It's doomed to succeed."

Despite their changing life circumstances, both Davies and Ford have decided that they want this situation to be handled peacefully and amicably.

"We always promised each other, if anything ever happens and we end up getting married, we are not going to do it the ugly way. In fact, I'm not sure there's an ugly way to do it. But even if there is, we won't be doing it that way."

As with most cases of two people filing for marriage, zero concerned friends and family have asked who is going to keep the couple's dog, Bandit. After not thinking about this for any length of time, Davies and Ford have agreed that they both will.

The couple also considers themselves extremely lucky that they don't have any children who might be affected by this unpredictable and fortunate turn of events. "Imagine trying to sit a screaming five-year-old down to explain that it's not his fault you're dancing to The Village People in a rented tuxedo? No thanks."

With the official marriage date set for late spring, Davies and Ford have said that they have every intention to remain civil and continue speaking to each other afterwards.

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