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Obama to stick around, help Trump through rocky transition "for as long as it takes – 4 to 8 years if need be"

Noting that President-elect Trump’s team was behind schedule in their transition efforts, and that the incoming leader has expressed surprise at the “scope” of the president’s duties, Obama has pledged to hang around and help out as long as he may be needed.
Jordan Foisy · CBC Comedy ·

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Noting that President-elect Trump's team was behind schedule in their transition efforts, and that the incoming leader has expressed surprise at the "scope" of the president's duties, Obama has pledged to hang around and help out as long as he may be needed. "Heck, they way these folks are running around, they may need me for the next 4 to 8 years," the president stated with a wink and a Cheshire cat smile.

"I mean these fellas have a whole lot of issues to work out," he continued while phantom boxing in the White House garage with a surely garrulous opponent. "They don't know who's got which hand on which steering wheel. And it's my duty to make sure that these things get sorted. Heck I'd be fine even picking up the slack on some day-to-day activities: watering the plants, answering the phones, [clears throat] maintaining my executive orders. Whatever the new administration needs me to do to get off to a running start."

Trump, who couldn't be reached for comment as he was busy measuring the bust sizes of the female mannequins being used for his jewellery, has simultaneously horrified and confused the world with his chaotic and messy transition. A Trump surrogate stated, "The President-elect is considering what kind of evil face he wants to show the world. He wants the perfect mixture of experienced, banal, Beltway evil and new and exciting fascist evil that many Americans eagerly voted for."

Obama, wearing a camouflage headband and breaking a sweat from practising axe kicks, coolly assured worried voters that he was committed to a peaceful and orderly transfer of power. "Listen: it is my job to make sure the next president has the best chance possible for success. That's why I intend to hang out and be available to offer advice on foreign powers, Medicare, and why climate change is not a Chinese hoax. Shucks, I'd even offer to meet a couple of leaders, sign a few dozen things into law, and appoint a secretary or two."

Before heading off for his Rocky 4-esque training session, Obama added, "I also heard that Trump might not want to sleep at the White House. So, if he wants I can stay over a couple of nights a week, make sure the lights get turned off, and the pets get fed. Anything for a man I absolutely hope the best for."

He then perfectly aimed a throwing knife and hit a picture of Steve Bannon with alarming precision.

Speaking of transitions (sorry)... our new web series Coming In is out now:

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