In response to Starbucks selling alcohol, LCBO to sell Mike's Hard Cake Pops
VANCOUVER, B.C.—Bet you can't eat just one. Though you probably should start with that and then see how you feel. Don't rush it. Drink some water, too.
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In response to Starbucks' recent decision to venture into the alcoholic beverage market, the LCBO is taking immediate action. They've announced the first of the products they hope will horn in on some of the Seattle-based coffee giant's market, beginning with Mike's Hard Cake Pops.
"We're so thrilled to be adding the MHCP to our product lineup," said Jake Hopps, spokesperson for the LCBO.
"We think customers will love them, and find no reason at all to continue going to Starbucks, since we sell alcohol and they sell alcohol. We're the same now. But our sales staff is friendlier."
Hopps said that if this first product sells well, they will not be afraid to introduce other products.
"We've got lots of interesting things in mind. Lots of interesting things. Some possible future products include Venti Vino, which is wine and coffee, Liqueur Latte, which is Limoncello and milk and coffee, and I'm trusting that won't go bad in any way, and Kahlúa With Coffee And Captain Morgan, which is coffee and rum and coffee and rum, and we didn't spend very long coming up with the name for it, to be honest."
At press time, a Vancouver woman who bought the first Mike's Hard Cake Pop described it as "deliciously confusing".
"Sounds about right," Hopps said.
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