LIFE HACK: Carry a clipboard and wear a lanyard so nobody comes near you
BARRIE, ON—It might seem a bit counterintuitive, but sporting more accessories, even attention-grabbing ones, may be the way to keep others away from you as you walk down the sidewalk.
If they're the right accessories, that is.
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According to experts, the latest life/fashion hack designed to prevent anyone on any sidewalk from talking to you or approaching you or even looking at you in any way is to wear a crisp, attention-grabbing lanyard around your neck, and to hold a sturdy clipboard in your hands at all times.
"You don't want the clipboard to be too large, but you don't want it to be too small," says Nancy Meiers, fashion consultant. "It should be the big enough to intimidate and also to pretend to write on deftly, but not so large or small that it looks like some novelty, pretend clipboard that you bought or made just to scare people away from you because they think you're canvassing for something."
"Even though that's precisely what is going on."
Psychologist Alun Turdiyk says that the feverish fear one experiences upon seeing someone standing anywhere on a sidewalk leads to a strong aversion that sends people scurrying in the other direction "without any long-term negative effects that we can currently surmise."
"Though they certainly won't be approaching you again anytime soon. And that's a win."
At press time, the effectiveness of the strategy was rumoured to be exponentially enhanced — again, somewhat counterintuitively — if you smiled and waved at passersby as well.
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