Make-A-Wish kid regretting choice of Jon Lovitz
ORANGE COUNTY, CA—Due to his parents' less than stellar healthcare plan, 7-year old liver transplant wait-lister Nathan Fazio had to settle for a Make-A-Wish visit Thursday from '80s Saturday Night Live alum Jon Lovitz.
"It was either Lovitz or that guy who used to host Hollywood Squares," he lamented.
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Having worked only sporadically over the last three decades, witnesses say Lovitz was absolutely thrilled to be there, busting out signature catchphrases like "Yeah, that's the ticket!" and "Subway... eat fresh!"
He also threw in a dusty impression of Harvey Fierstein, shouting, "I just wanna be loved, is that so wrong?!" in a raspy New York baritone that was loud enough to wake up two stroke victims.
While staff nurses frantically attended to Nathan's support tubes, the Mom and Dad Save The World star regaled them with tales about how he felt totally underused during his 5-year stint on SNL.
"I would just have these really light weeks. Phil [Hartman] or Dana [Carvey] might be in seven or eight sketches and I might be in like six or seven. I didn't know what the problem was. I had the Liar, I had Master Thespian. I asked Lorne [Michaels], I said, 'I've got all these hit characters, I'm writing five sketches a week. Do you not like me or something?' But I never really got a straight answer."
Lovitz also expressed resentment that Michaels wouldn't allow cast members to take time off from the show to do feature films. "My thinking was always, let us go and do it and then you'd have a cast full of movie stars. And wouldn't that be something? Of course they do it that way now," said Lovitz to a stone-faced Nathan.
When asked if the terror of being 116th on a liver waiting list was allayed by a visit from the man who once portrayed 1988 democratic nominee Michael Dukakis, Nathan asked, "Why does God hate me?"
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