Comedy·TIME

Millennial housing market peak? Average house price in Toronto reaches 439,572 avocados

Millennials, it may be even longer than you thought before you can own a place of your own.
(Shutterstock / Andy Dean Photogr)

TORONTO, ON—Millennials, it may be even longer than you thought before you can own a place of your own.

According to the most recent numbers put out by the Canadian Real Estate Association, the number of avocados required to purchase a home in Toronto — the now universally agreed-upon currency for house purchases after a very influential TIME magazine article this week — is at 439,572 avocados, or Å439,572, and rising.

"Look, I have a lot of avocados," said Benneka Bennett, 26. "I love them. I have chosen them over living in an apartment or being able to find a stable job. But to learn that I'll likely never have enough avocados to be able to purchase a home?"

"I'll be honest, that hurts. That's not smooth and spreadable news."

"The time is ripe for sellers, for certain," said Jill Pitt, a real estate agent in the city. "The problem is, who's buying? Even if I got five great homes together, and bundled them up in a net to make each one slightly cheaper, who could afford it?"

"Plus we know that this won't last long. The real estate market is so hard, so hard, and then suddenly it seems to soften up and become easy to deal with. But that lasts for such a short time before conditions become rotten. Then it will be a bumpy road again."

At press time, an item of food isn't a place to live, TIME Magazine.

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