Nation's fitting room employees wonder how things are going in there

BRANDON, MB—Because if you need anything at all, just let them know.

In a collective press release rumoured to be the first public statement of its kind issued on behalf of the group, fitting room employees across the nation announced that they wished you to know that they wonder how things are going in there. If you need anything, they added, they're just outside, by the stool.

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The group sought to reassure all those currently trying on items that "We think we've got it in medium as well, if that doesn't fit, just let us know. If we're not by the stool, we'll be back soon."

In a reply issued shortly afterward, the nation's shoppers announced, "No w— no we're okay we think. Thank you though. We'll let you know," whilst trying to fit into the same size of jeans they fit in the last time they bought jeans, which was probably four years ago, before adding a pained, "Actually do you have these in—oh nevermind, nevermind, we got it, we're in," which was countered by the nation's fitting room employees issuing a short follow-up announcement which stated, "Absolutely, do you want us t—oh you're good? Okay," and which probably didn't have to be released.

At press time, they also just wanted to double-check how many items you brought in, three, right? The pants and the sweater and the… what was that, like a shawl sort of thing? Okay just leave that on the back of the chair if you leave the room, don't hang it up. Hmm? No sorry we're talking to the customer in Room 8, not you, sorry. Ha we know, the sound echoes, sorry about that, yeah it can get confusing!

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