Peter Mansbridge silently pumps fist after correctly pronouncing 'inauspicious' on air

TORONTO, ON—Legendary Canadian broadcaster Peter Mansbridge can add another feather to his already feather-strewn cap after nailing the pronunciation of "inauspicious" on The National last night.

'Inauspicious', with its four tricky syllables and slippery 's' noises has long been a troublemaker for the venerated anchor. Footage exists of a young, wet-behind-the-ears Mansbridge pronouncing it "inauspecies" like some sort of common Alberta horse wrangler. Since that day he's avoided the word entirely, instead using synonyms like 'nondescript', which the anchor admitted lacked poetry but possessed less potential for disaster.

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Last night though, the nearly retired Mansbridge was feeling particularly fearless. He had done all of his preshow mouth workouts: flexing and rolling his tongue until it ached, making clicking noises that could be heard echoing off the walls of the CBC, repeating the profane tongue twisters he learned at the knee of his harsh mother that make the average human's head spin with their complexity and foulness.

"I feel strong and brave, Tom, for tonight I am the warrior," Mansbridge was overheard stating to Blue Thomas, his silent companion who accompanies him everywhere and is his confidant, guardian and, most important, holds onto Mansbridge's velvet cape while he's on air and immediately drapes it over his shoulders when the broadcast is over.

The broadcast began and everyone in the studio could feel that tonight was going to be special. The Big Mans was in fine form, solemn when grave news demanded it, playful, coy even, at the lighter moments. Tricky words that would trip up lesser anchors, such as 'conspicuous', 'obstinate', and 'ordinance', all danced out of his lush mouth with grace and ease. His plump tongue obeyed all commands, his teeth stayed out of the way, his lips pursed with poise and dignity.

Anticipation hung in the air much like the steam from Mansbridge's customary four-hour post-show steam bath. On the teleprompter, the sentence in question ticked into view: "The Prime Minister's beloved abs had the most inauspicious of beginnings."

The Big Man paused. There was a quick glance to Tom, the two companions savouring this moment, this dance on the edge of victory. Then the dreaded sentence emerged from his mouth. Perfect, no pauses, no slips, every syllable clean, precise and beautiful.

"Over to you Ian."

Then, before the camera cut away, a silent fist pump to himself.  For what else is there to do when one has scaled all of the heights, vanquished all of the foes, captured all of the beasts? You must celebrate yourself, even if it is for the briefest of moments. So celebrate yourself Big Mans. We as a nation salute you.

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