What a trans man wants you to know about shaving for the first time

Shaving. Love it or hate it, the first time you run a blade across your face is something special in a man's life. A time honoured symbolic step away from boyhood into adulthood. As an adolescent I can recall willing my hormones to get it together and bring on the scruff. My eventual first shave was a bit anticlimactic, a culling of peach fuzz punctuated by a gentle nudge from my father reminding/educating me that I should probably also shave my neck. Oops.

Samson Brown's experience is decidedly more touching. Samson is a transgender man and for a large portion of his life, the scruff never came. But now, he has reached a pivotal point in his transition towards his most authentic self and he's sharing it with the world.

Choked up?  Me too. It's a deeply intimate moment between a father and son and as a member of the LGBTQ2S+ community it's a cathartic make good moment to witness. It's all part of Gillette's ongoing inclusivity campaign #WeBelieve and it was an impactful experience for Samson.

"For me shaving is a rewarding experience. It's another way that I can express myself, let the world know who I am."

While the visibility of trans men and women has been steadily increasing in the mainstream, those examples are often dominated by dramatizations from the world of a-list entertainment. To see such a real moment inserted into the mainstream like this is rare. To have it backed by a major brand, even more rare. This is a milestone celebration usually acknowledged in private but Samson is on a mission of love, understanding and starting conversations.

"My decision to share it with the world was really based on my own personal platform of spreading love. I think sometimes it can be hard for us to recognize what love can look like. Love can show up in the smallest of ways. It can be as simple as a father teaching his son how to shave for the first time."

By his own admission, Samson's journey toward this moment started late by today's standards. He told me many trans kids start their journey close to the onset of adolescence. He began his transition in his mid 20s after a lot of self discovery, pushing through shame and societal expectation. Today, he is an outspoken writer, performer and activist and he tells me his first steps on the path toward his authentic self probably would have happened a lot sooner had he experienced representation in this way.

"I think I would have accepted myself a lot sooner. I think I would have been a lot more willing to say something about who I was and not hide in shame for so long. I would have realized that there are people like me out there and I am not completely alone. I think that being alone is what causes the most damage. Not having examples like this really shaped the way I related to myself and related to my transition."

Visibility is key. The simple act of including a member of a minority group in the cultural conversation can have a life changing impact on the lives of the people in that group. The simple act of being a role model can change the entire trajectory of the life of an onlooker. But Samson recognizes a mainstream moment like this extends far beyond just the trans community. This is a conversation starter for the entire culture.

"It's not just the trans person transitioning. It's also everyone around us transitioning and doing the learning, challenging ourselves, challenging others. My hope is that this ad will help people to have different kinds of conversations and direct conversations in a way that challenges their own views of support and what supporting the people they say that they love can look like."

There's another star in this sure-to-be-viral ad. Samson's father.

"I was actually really proud. Really proud. My dad is not one for cameras or media in any shape or form so the fact that he came through for me was really really special."

In watching the spot, I am struck by their relationship. There isn't even a hint of shame or awkwardness, only celebration. This is a ritual between father and son redefined in an effort to usher in a new era of understanding.

"Unfortunately a lot of trans folk get kicked out of their houses by parents who are not understanding. So to show that this is a possibility, that this is a very real possibility, that you can have this kind of relationship with your parents was really important to me."

There's a clear subtext to Samson's story that sends a powerful message to the parents of transgender children. It's never too late to experience moments stolen by shame or misinformation.

"For me having my first shaving experience at a later age really meant a lot. I hope it can show people what it looks like when you choose to be a specific type of parent and how that can be viewed. The reach and the magnitude of what you can really encompass. How to not separate the love you have for your children and your knowledge and understanding of what they want to do with their lives".

His advice for growing that understanding is simple. Keep the lines of communication open and use cultural moments like this one to ask questions.

"Some parents just don't understand your life so they just don't talk to you about it. My dad is very clear that whether he understands or not as long as I strive to be great, he will continue to ask questions to help him understand. That's a beautiful thing."

Samson isn't just speaking to the trans community. As a black man he recognizes some of the issues this ad also confronts as a person of colour.

"It's a breaking of the stereotype that a lot of people in the greater society and in black culture hold about how we view ourselves and our families and our children. My hope is that black children that are growing up and challenging or questioning their gender can see this ad and know that there is a possibility that they can have a parent that will understand and will accept them. It's a good hope for people to have. It's a good example for people to have."

Gillette has not been shy about its push for inclusivity and moving conversations forward. The brand made a huge impact with its exploration of modern masculinity in a viral ad released in January.

Samson is well aware that this ad could draw the same kind of dissection and criticism that inevitably comes with challenging societal norms. But this is a man on a mission to spread love. "I always hope for the greatest in people. I think when you look at people in that way and also show people that you hope within yourself not just for yourself but also for them it can also challenge them to look within themselves."

Ryan E. Thompson is a Toronto based television producer and writer specializing in LGBTQ issues and entertainment.

This is paid content produced on behalf of Gillette. This is not CBC journalistic content.