'I see it as a messy, beautiful moment': Jhyve looks back on winning Searchlight in 2021
The R&B singer opens up about upcoming music in an interview with The Block
R&B singer Jhyve won CBC Music's Searchlight competition in 2021 with his song "Down." The emotional slow jam features a soaring vocal performance and explores a relationship falling apart.
"It was like a coming-to-God moment," he told The Block's host Angeline Tetteh-Wayoe in an interview about penning the track. He joined her in studio to reflect on the song's impact on his life, as well as how his career has evolved since then.
The full interview is available above and you can read an excerpt of their conversation below.
I actually want to talk about "Down." When we started playing it, you kind of had this visceral reaction about it. Do you want to get into what was brought up for you?
Yeah, yeah. Okay, so "Down" happened at a time when my life [was] I guess you could say, transitional. But not like the [kind] where things are rough but then they get better. It was one of those, like high, high, high, high, [then] low [times]. So, earlier that year [I] just came off the first Juno nod, things were going great. I was opening for Jessie for a set of shows, I was opening for Russell! for a set of shows.
Jessie Reyez.
Yeah, Jessie Reyez. I was doing some shows with Russell! [too]. We were kind of, through the summer, doing some stuff. It just felt like there was real cool, organic momentum. And then so basically the long story short is, I was with this label, and said label thought it would be a good idea to [turn me] into the black Sam Smith. [They said] "Let's get some horns behind you. Let's change your entire sound up." And I was like, "Sick, but the thing is, nobody asked for that. Like, look at me. Why are we doing that? It's not what I do. It's not my expertise." You know what I mean?
I was very much in my sad boy, R&B bag. So it just felt like the kind of thing where they took a look at the essence of who Jhyve is and what he does, and they said, "Let's completely hit reverse after this Juno nomination," and I didn't agree at all.
So you said no to that?
Yeah. And as a result, they were like, "Well, I guess we're not funding much." And I was like, "Oh." So a lot of [that] summer consisted of me [being] kind of independent but not [truly] independent. I delivered an EP for them. Nothing really came of it through the whole summer. I still kind of followed through with my obligations because by September, October, I handed [in] an EP. So we did the songs, I gave them songs. And so it was one of those things [where] I kind of felt the writing on the wall.
So, I'd kind of given up my studio downtown. I'd given up my place. I moved back in with my dad. The low point was really December, where I started just having doubts and I was over-drinking, overthinking, and I was like, "Did I take a wrong turn?" You know?
[I had] that moment, in what I could look back [and recognize it] as a little bit of depression. [My dad] didn't know what to do because, what do you do when your son comes back home and he's struggling with his sense of place and his sense of self? And I was in my room working on my music. And I was going to work and I kind of ostracized myself. And he could tell [I was] drinking a lot and he was there, God bless his soul.
What felt like the lowest point I wrote down, and it was like a coming-to-God moment. It was [me] talking about my own cycles, my own penchant for over-drinking, overthinking, [and] my own penchant for self-sabotage, which I am very capable of.
And so I had that song and I was showing it to some people around me and everybody's like, "Oh, this is really good." I was like, "I just wrote this to get it out because it couldn't be in anymore." And by the time we'd submitted it for Searchlight—
Can I stop you there for a second? Because correct me if I'm wrong, you didn't submit it. Somebody else submitted it because you were scared to submit it. I get that. You couldn't handle putting something in and not having it be loved at the state that you were in there. Somebody else had to take it and [say] "I'm going to submit it for you 100 per cent."
So to me, it was like art imitating life, where the song was about all of these things that I do to get in my own way, all of these ways in which I sometimes harm myself, all of these ways in which I go down. And then to have somebody celebrate that song and watch me replay my cycles in real time was such an art imitates life moment. But I was lucky enough to have people that can pull me out of my nonsense and get me to look at it. And now, I see it as a messy, beautiful moment, and I'm grateful.
This interview has been edited for clarity and length. To hear the full interview, listen to The Block on CBC Music.