Perhaps critics have missed the point of the FIFA vanity film, 'United Passions'?
The film is entitled United Passions. And, much like, say, The Lord of the Rings movie trilogy, it revolves around an unlikely, pure-hearted hero: a character named "Sepp Blatter."
Curiously, that character shares a name with an actual Sepp Blatter, who — until this week — was the president of a real-life soccer organization called FIFA. Equally curiously, that real-life organization put up 90 per cent of the dough to make United Passions.
That suggests it's a ridiculous, wildly offensive effort by the real-life FIFA to make a propaganda film that whitewashes its corruption and general rottenness. But even FIFA couldn't be so deluded as to think anyone would sit through that. So instead, the film is an exhilarating fantasy. Rather than brave Frodo travelling to Mordor to destroy the ring, there is the brave, fictional "Sepp Blatter" securing sponsorship deals with Coke and Adidas.
There is also have powerful dialogue like this -- from the trailer:
Obviously, that's not intended to be taken seriously. You can only conclude it's fantasy.
But the critics aren't seeing it. In The Guardian yesterday, reviewer Jordan Hoffman wrote, "As cinema it is excrement. As proof of corporate insanity it is a valuable case study." In The New York Times, Daniel Gold scolds the director and actors, writing, "If cynicism were a crime, they'd be taking a sheet-covered perp walk of their own." And the Village Voice's Ashley Clark writes, "As propaganda, United Passions is as subtle as an anvil to the temple. As drama, it's not merely ham-fisted, but pork-shouldered, bacon-wristed, and sausage-elbowed."
Perhaps critics have missed the fantasy element?
Maybe they'll like the sequel better -- rumour has it that it's a horror movie.
Here's the full trailer: