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The AIH Transcript for December 26, 2018

Hosts: Carol Off and Jeff Douglas

HELEN MANN: Hello, I’m Helen Mann. Sitting in for Carol Off.

JEFF DOUGLAS: Good evening, I'm Jeff Douglas. This is “As It Happens”.

[Music: Theme]

Prologue

JD: Tonight:

HM: Wave. After wave. Recovery workers are still uncovering bodies from last weekend's Indonesian tsunami. Now authorities warn that another torrent could be on its way.

JD: Catching them off balance. Japan announces that it's resuming commercial whaling — leaving one opponent of the hunt asking how some hard-pressed species will survive.

HM: 'The god of the winged heel.' Canadian poet Charles G.D. Roberts laces on the blades and goes gliding way beyond the rink as Jeff reads that celebration of freedom on ice, 'The Skater.'

JD: Voice activated. We revisit the story of the radio reporter who suddenly lost his voice to a disease but was back behind the mic thanks to a computer and a program using clips from his own broadcasts.

HM: Tools of the trade. A journey through “As It Happens” all-time weirdest interviews takes us through the Iceland penis museum that's looking to complete its collection with the help of a human donor.

JD: And...aw, darn! It's our annual reading of that classic tale of winter knitwear gone wrong. It's Roch Carrier's story about his maman, Monsieur Eaton, and the greatest game on ice, 'The Hockey Sweater.'

JD: "As It Happens", the Boxing Day edition, Radio that always delivers a good yarn.

[Music: Theme]

Part one: Indonesia tsunami, Japan whaling, radio reporter voice, “The Skater” poem

Indonesia Tsunami

Guest: Jamie Fullerton

JD: If you live near Mount Anak Krakatau, stay back from the coastline. That was the warning issued by Indonesian authorities late last night. On Saturday a tsunami triggered by the volcano swept through the Sunda Strait. It struck with no warning, killing more than four hundred people, and displacing thousands. Now there are worries that another wave could follow. Jamie Fullerton has been reporting for the Guardian in Banten province, one of the areas hardest hit by the waves. We reached him earlier today in Jakarta, Indonesia.

HM: Jamie, with these new warnings about potential further tsunamis that have been issued. What's the mood like in Indonesia today?

JAMIE FULLERTON: Well, there is definitely a mood of trepidation in Banten province. This is one of the areas that's been worst hit by the tsunami where I've been reporting from for the Guardian over the last couple of days. Authorities there have warned that a perfect storm I guess almost quite literally could potentially be occurring soon because the volcano that caused the tsunami that hit on Saturday night is spewing ash still, as we speak. And also, the weather has been just pretty atrocious the last couple of days. I've been sort of getting lashed by sort of side sweeps of heavy rain. And that's combined with the general sort of swell and waves that we've been seeing in the ocean has caused Indonesia's main meteorology agency to warn people that that certainly is potential for a new tsunami to hit.

HM: But what effect are these warnings having on the rescue effort? Because presumably there's a situation as always where time is of the essence?

JF: To an extent, but also we've now reached the stage where most of the emergency situations have been dealt with in terms of finding survivors. I visited a refugee shelter there's been lots of them that's been set up, and a lot of people have still got their homes intact, might have some damage, but they still are heeding the advice from the authorities by not going back — especially if they've got kids. Also, I think what's worth mentioning is the general view towards the volcano and natural disasters. I asked a lot of people if this was genuinely a shock that it has happened because this volcano has been active for a long time. It's been spewing out ash for months. And when I said did you not have this in the back of your minds when living so close to the shore? They just had no, it’s just to kind of always been there. We just get used to it. This volcanic activity is just part of the backdrop.

HM: Given that, I mean presumably we're not expecting the tsunami itself. What did you hear from the people who actually witnessed the tsunami? What kind of stories did they tell you about what they experienced?

JF: Yeah, lots of harrowing stories really. I spoke to one chap who really was quite traumatized by what he saw — completely understandably. And his issue with returning to his home was that he had very quickly developed a fear of the ocean. He ran away from the waves when it struck. Managed to get to safety. But when he went back the next day, he saw two bodies that obviously people who weren't quite so fortunate to get away. And the image of that he was telling me stuck with him because the bodies had been in the water for a long time so were quite bloated physically. He was in a refugee camp with his family despite the fact that he could have returned to his home if he wanted to and sort of repaired the damage that was there. He just felt so traumatized and was worried about his mental health. And I think of obviously the immediate response is focused on the physical medical needs of the people. And you know anything from you know scratches to broken arms to more serious injuries and, of course, the 450 deaths have been reported. The mental well-being of the thousands of people who have witnessed harrowing scenes of destruction even if it is not related to their own personal circumstances, even if they still got their homes and their family members is something that is really going to be unfolding I think now that the initial chaos may have died down a little bit.

HM: Right. Many people will have seen that video of that concert near the beach, but not everyone. And for those who have not seen that. Can you describe what we see on that video?

Yes. So the name of this resort is Tanjung Lesung. It's a really huge holiday resort on the west coast of Banten province. And a pop band killed 17 were playing a concert. I was actually at the spot where the stage used to be and now all you can see on the area is a huge pile of mangled metal, smashed up broken chairs, and quite a lot of musical instrument case is still strewn around. You can see the remnants of the party that happened there. Yeah, the video that you're referring to is a really dramatic indicator of the force of the wave. You know this band who were just playing a rock song the music suddenly becomes something a lot starker as you can hear the waves crash through and the scream starts erupting as the band and the fans are swept away. And the band some of the band members have lost their lot lost their lives as well as the audience members. And I think it's worth mentioning the officials that said that 106 people died there. And considering that the total death count for the whole of the tsunami area was 450, you're talking about a quarter of the people dying in this one resort.

HM: You describe this twisted, mangled the rubble and it's all around this concert area. But the whole region is affected by that. I am just wondering if you can take us through the nature of the rescue operation — just the challenges people are facing, and I guess it's more of a recovery now. What are they up against given the weather that you described and the degree of damage?

JF: Yeah, it's definitely tough conditions. But it should be said that the authorities do think that they're managing with the resources that they have. And they're treating it as a provincial level operation. But the challenges as you mentioned do remain. They do sort of feel like they are doing what they can, and it’s all sort of getting away from them. Of course, that doesn't alter the scale of the tragedy. We're up to 430 people was the confirmed death toll for today. And although initially it might seem that that level is now topping off we might have reached the maximum. There are still around 150 people who are unaccounted for. And the authorities say still officially missing. People are saying that the likelihood of finding more survivors is low. So it does definitely remain a possibility that the death count might rise significantly.

HM: Jamie Fullerton, I appreciate you sharing what you saw with us. Thank you very much.

JF: You're welcome. Thank you.

JD: Jamie Fullerton is a reporter with the Guardian. We reached him in Jakarta.

[Music: Sombre]

Japan whaling

Guest: Astrid Fuchs

JD: Japan is going to resume commercial whaling. The move follows the country's failure to convince the Internal Whaling Commission to lift its moratorium on the practice — a moratorium that's been in place for more than 30 years. Japan says that it will leave the commission next year. Astrid Fuchs is asking Japan to reconsider. Ms. Fuchs is an activist with the NGO Whale and Dolphin Conservation. We reached her in Munich.

CO: Ms. Fuchs, Japan has continued to hunt whales for years under the guise of scientific research. So does this announcement of a resumption of commercial hunting really change anything?

ASTRID FUCHS: Yes, I'm afraid it changes the situation completely. At the moment, it's really hard to tell how things are going to unfold. But you have to see that under the IWC, though there was the loophole of scientific whaling — which Japan abused for commercial whaling — there was oversight by the IWC. So Japan had to abide by certain rules, they had to report the numbers, and now this oversight is going to be lost. We don't know yet how Japan is going to report future whaling numbers. And, in addition, we're really worried that it sets a precedent and that other countries might actually follow the lead set by Japan and leave the commission if they're not happy with the current situation.

HM: Now Japan has said though that is it is going to abandon whaling outside its territorial waters. Is that not somewhat of a victory for opponents of whaling?

AF: That's certainly good news. But the downside is if they are looking to match the numbers they were taking in Antarctica, if they are looking at a situation where they want to provide the same amount of meat to the Japanese market then they will have to take those whales in their territorial waters. We know that they intend to take minke whales, sei whales, and Bryde’s whales. But they didn't say anything about the numbers, only that they will look at IWC scientific committee advice for that. So actually we might just see a change in location but not actually an improvement of the situation.

HM: Japan argues that the whales that it will hunt — the types of whales that will hunt — are not as at risk as they were in the past. Does the evidence support that view?

AF: Well, it depends on the population they're talking about. There are certainly whale populations that have at least partly recovered from industrial whaling. But we are really, really far away from a situation where we can say they have all recovered. Most are still struggling. They are facing a multitude of manmade threats like pollution, climate change, ocean noise, and so on.

HM: So Japan has repeatedly tried to overturn the IWC moratorium. They made their last failed attempt in September. Besides this argument that some of the populations are not endangered, what did they say? What was their position?

AF: Well, the position is basically yes, exactly. There are some populations that they consider abundant enough to withstand whaling, which is debatable. But they believe it's possible. So their argument basically is that it's possible to restart commercial whaling. That the IWC is actually the body that should regulate whaling and not only look at conservation, which is why they were so unhappy. And when their proposal was defeated, which was their biggest yet in the last decades, they already announced that they would be leaving. And I think the final straw was possibly also that at a meeting of scientists or the convention that has oversight over trade in endangered species their trade and sei whale meat their local trade in Japan was found illegal. And they actually have to come back into compliance societies by next February. So I think it was clear to them that there are two major conventions they are part of which both basically prohibit their whaling or want to prohibit their whaling. And so they chose to leave at least one of those conventions behind.

HM: Well, even though the demand is limited or is reducing in Japan, the country argued that this is part of their culture. How do you respond to that?

AF: Well, it's a flawed argument. There are certainly a few small villages in Japan which have a history of you know small type coastal whaling. And large scale whaling actually was a thing of the recent history after World War Two when protein sources were really in low supply for the Japanese population. And you know when things improved again over the decades, they actually didn't have to rely on that anymore.

HM: You mentioned earlier concerns that other countries will now leave the International Whaling Commission. I mean we know Norway and Iceland continue to hunt whale. How serious is that risk that there will be an abandonment of the kind of principles that you have pursued for so long?

AF: I'm not so worried about Norway leaving the IWC because they hunt you know for commercial profit under their objection to the moratorium. But we're very worried, for example, about South Korea, which has actually some demand for whale meat. They have a whale meat market, which is at the moment fed through whales because it's legal to sell those whales that are caught in fisheries here on the South Korean market. And they have actually expressed interest in resuming commercial whaling in the past. But I'm also worried about other whaling countries in terms of Japan's announcement that they might actually try and set up a new international body for the Regulation of Whaling. And if they find partners for that that would really be a big problem.

HM: If Japan has got some point though in the fact that some of the whale populations have repaired themselves does it not make sense that they do want to get out there and get some of this meat?

AF: Like we just discussed, you know there is no real demand. So they would be creating a new market for something which at the moment isn't in demand. Also, whales are still recovering. We don't know enough about the populations to know if they are able to withstand commercial whaling again. And they have to face all the other threats. And in addition to that, we now know how important whales are actually for the ocean ecosystem. They are huge carbon sinks, for example, they fertilize the oceans. They help actually if the oceans to create oxygen for us to breathe. So whales play a significant part for our ocean health. And actually, it's in our interest to conserve whales not to hunt them. And we think that Japan is actually jeopardizing conservation efforts by their moves.

HM: Ms. Fuchs, I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on all of this with us. Thank you very much.

AF: Thank you for having me.

HM: All right. Goodbye.

AF: Bye.

JD: Astrid Fuchs leads the anti-whaling efforts of the NGO Whale and Dolphin Conservation. We reached her in Munich. And if you'd like to know more about this story you can find it on our website: www.cbc.ca/aih.

[Music: Ambient]

Encore: Radio reporter voice

JD: This past June, we brought you the story of Jamie Dupree, a veteran radio reporter who, in an awful twist of fate, lost his voice. Mr. Dupree had worked in radio since 1983. Then, a couple of years ago he lost his ability to speak because of a neurological disorder called lingual protrusion dystonia. But when we reached him, Mr Dupree was back on the air after working with a company specialising in AI-generated voice recreations. As we approach the end of the 2018, we're re-playing some of our most memorable interviews. Here's Jamie Dupree's conversation with Carol.

SOUNDCLIP

CO: Jamie, what's it like being back on the air?

JAMIE DUPREE: How does it feel to be back on the radio? Well, it feels awesome. It all seemed so normal on the first morning when I tuned in and heard my reports running on our company's radio stations. That's the way it has been for years; Jamie Dupree is on the radio in Atlanta, in Dayton, in Jacksonville, in Orlando, in Tulsa. But what hit me the most this week was on the first day when I had breaking news from the Supreme Court. One of my anchors asked for a story for the top of the hour newscast. And so I went to work. I quickly typed up the report and generated it with the new voice. A few minutes later, there I was leading the newscast. If you have seen the video on YouTube, you've seen my reaction. I was about to cry. It was an emotional moment.

CO: I can't imagine what it is to lose your voice when you're a radio reporter because it's the tool, isn't it? It's what we use. What was it like to get that news that you would not have a voice?

JD: There are two parts to my answer: for one, yes, it was very difficult to lose the ability to be on the radio. I have been doing news on the radio since 1983. One of my early jobs in Washington was covering news for individual radio stations and networks in Canada back in the more simple era of U.S.-Canadian relations. So missing the day-to-day grind of the news was a change. But at least I was able to shift my efforts into doing the news online. I was still interviewing members of the U.S. Congress and sending that audio to my radio stations. And I have a big social media presence as well. But the second part of my answer is don't forget about the impact this has on my life. Being on the radio is one thing. Not being able to have a full conversation with my kids and my wife has been very difficult. And so there is still much to do to get my voice back.

CO: What did you think when you found out that there was a company in Scotland that might be able to actually give you your voice back based on your old voice?

JD: When my voice started to go downhill, I began searching the Internet for ways to use all of the many recorded news stories from my past to bring my voice back to the radio. The problem is that most of those companies need you to recite a specific script to create the necessary sounds and I'm unable to do that. I found a company in Montreal that seemed promising. They told me to contact them in the second half of this year because they might have a new piece of software. Major companies like Adobe Systems that will work, but they don't want to release it to the general public. So it wasn't until someone at my company's headquarters in Atlanta found this company CereProc in Scotland in March that there was some hope for this idea. I remember working round the clock for a week to deliver them all sorts of old audio from my archives and hoping that it would work. I got the first build of my voice in mid-May, just as I was getting a new treatment at the Emory University Brain Health Center in Atlanta, Georgia. I knew it would work. And now it is on the air.

CO: How does this new voice actually work?

JD: The voice that was created for me is loaded into a simple text-to-speech program. I'm sitting at my laptop right now, just typing into a screen, and then I hit play and out pops the words in my voice. It is really simple to do. The mechanical process behind it is very high-tech. The program does not go searching for my exact recording of a specific word. Most words and phrases come out just fine, but there are subtle things that don't sound right. So I have to go back and spell them out differently in order to make it come out correctly. So for production purposes in radio, it is really simple. I type, I hit play, and it generates an MP 3 file.

CO: What’s the most difficult part of doing your job now?

JD: The most difficult part about doing my job now is not being able to engage in interview subjects in the way that I would like to in the hallways with members of the Congress, not being able to get out my questions, and to say exactly what I want to ask. I am always happy when other reporters are around so they can ask questions and I can stick my microphone into the scrum of people to get some tape. And again I want to bring this back to the personal side of this story. My kids are young at nine, 11, and 14. I want to be able to talk to them and explain the little things in life. I want to just sit and have a conversation with my wife, instead of typing out a message to her. But I do have fun with my kids by typing silly things into the program and seeing how it sounds.

CO: And just give me a sense of what you have to do in order to get a story on the air?

JD: Getting a story on the air is really easy. In fact, it is almost scary how simple it is. Let's just give you a quick example right here and type something like about the ongoing debate on immigration in the United States. I'm Jamie Dupree in Washington. That's the way I can start a story. Republicans met behind closed doors last night with President Trump, trying to find a way forward on immigration legislation in the Congress. But it was obvious that divisions remain among GOP lawmakers. So there is some copy, I generate the sound, add in a sound bite or two, and I can put together a 30-second news story in just a few minutes.

CO: What do you have to do to actually speak without the computer’s help?

JD: I can get a few words out that are normal from time to time, but mostly I'm unable to string words together. The signals get mixed up from my brain to my throat, and it is a struggle. Here is what I sound like.

SOUNDCLIP

JD: I am able to get out a little, but not very many words. I must go slow. Very slow. And there are a lot of words that I am unable to say. But I will keep trying.

CO: Jamie, thank you for sharing your story. I'm so glad you could tell it to us.

JD: That was radio reporter, Jamie Dupri, speaking to Carol via a computer-generated voice synthesizer in June of this year. This was one of our favorite interviews of 2018. And you can hear that interview again, and find more on Mr. Dupree's story on the “As It Happens” website: www.cbc.ca/aih.

[Music: violin]

2018 Reading: “The Skater” poem

HM: Snow, solitude and the great outdoors. They're all there in tonight's holiday reading. The poem by the late, great Canadian poet G.D. Roberts is about a skater simply gliding across a lake. But, as sometimes happens when you're the first one on the ice, it becomes something more. Here's Jeff's reading of "The Skater."

SOUNDCLIP

JD: My glad feet shod with glittering steel. I was the god of the winged heel. The hills and the far wide sky were lost. The world lay still in the wide white frost. And the woods hung hushed in their long white dream by the ghostly glimmering ice blue stream. Here was a pathway smooth like glass, where I and the wandering wind might pass to the far off palaces drifted deep, where winters retinue rests in sleep. I followed the lure. I fled like a bird till the startled hollows awoke and heard a spinning whisper, a sibilant twang as the stroke of the steel and the tense ice rang. And the wandering wind was left behind as faster, faster, I followed my mind. Till the blood to sang high in my eager brain, and the joy of my flight was almost pain. Then I stayed the rush of my eager speed, and silently went as a drifting seed, slowly, furtively till my eyes grew big with the all of a dim surmise, and the hair of my neck began to creep at hearing the wilderness talk in sleep. Shapes in the fur gloom drifted near. In the deep of my heart, I heard my fear. And I turned and fled like a soul pursued from the white, inviolate solitude.

HM: My co-host, Jeff Douglas, reading Charles G. D. Roberts' "The Skater".

[Music: Ambient]

Part two: #AIH50 weirdest stories, 2018 Reading “The Hockey Sweater”

#AIH50 weirdest stories

JD: The world, and the people in it, can be awfully dark and serious sometimes. Thankfully, it can also be charming, funny, and delightfully off its rockers. Take, for instance, this.

SOUNDCLIP

CO: Hello, Lord Buckethead.

LORD: BUCKETHEAD: Hello, is this Carol?

CO: Yes, it is. Is this Lord Buckethead?

LB: You are indeed speaking to Lord Buckethead. How can I help you?

CO: Am I speaking to you inside your bucket, Lord Buckethead?

LB: That is an excellent question, not quite. When I am at rest or at leisure, I am able to wear a kind of personal head apparatus which allows me to breathe slightly more easily. But I'll tell you something, you wouldn't want to see me outside of it.

CO: And why is that?

LB: Because it’s not a very nice colour, and it looks slightly profane.

CO: This is because you are, in fact, an intergalactic space Lord, is that right?

LB: That is correct. I traveled here from hyperspace via the northern borough of Finchley

CO: And over these decades that you have been running in the elections, has it always been the same you? Are you like Doctor Who? Did you regenerate for each election?

LB: I am Buckethead. We are buckethead. We are legion. Does that answer your question?

JD: That was Carol interviewing Lord Buckethead in the summer of 2017. His Lordship was running against Theresa May for a seat in the UK Parliament. His Lordship lost. But we knew we had a winner on our hands. It was one of those classic, stranger-than-fiction “As It Happens” interviews that delights listeners, and makes those of us in the studio, unexpectedly spew coffee out of our noses. So, to celebrate all the delightful strangeness in the world, which is likely on full display for those of you who braved the Boxing Day crowds — here are, in no sensible order at all, some of our all-time favourite weird-and-wonderful stories. To get things started, here's an oldy-but-weirdy from 1977. This is former “As It Happens” hosts Alan Maitland and Barbara Frum talking to Philip Shuttleworth.

SOUNDCLIP

ALAN MAITLAND: Hello, Mr. Shuttleworth. I'm Alan Maitland.

PHILIP SHUTTLEWORTH: Good evening.

AM: I'd like you to meet Barbara Frum.

BARBARA FRUM: Hello.

PS: Hello there.

BF: She's a very nice lady, but she has no musical talent whatsoever. She can't play anything on her teeth. She can’t play a thing. How do you do it?

PS: Well, All I do is simply use my thumbnails against the hard teeth you see.

AM: Your thumbnail?

PS: That's right, Yes.

AM: Just the two sort of dog teeth there?

PS: Yeah. Yeah.

AM: Can you show me a little bit?

[Sound: What the?]

PS: How was that?

AM: That's wonderful.

BF: Fantastic.

AM: Wonderful. You changed position of your mouth, of course.

PS: That's right, yes. Some people I think thought it was that I’d changed a tooth, you see. So you alter the pitch from the left-hand side of the mouth to the right, but it’s simply the position of the mouth.

BF: When did you develop this skill?

PS: Oh, it’s grown up with me over the years. I just as I say thought everybody could do it really.

JD: That was Alan Maitland and Barbara Frum, in conversation with Philip Shuttleworth, a British man who could play Mozart concertos on his front teeth. Now, despite their reputation, the English do not actually hold a monopoly on eccentricity. In 2013, Carol spoke with the American, Leslie Brown. Ms. Brown was the winner, that year, of the Washington Post's annual Peeps Diorama Contest. Peeps — if you don't already know--are a type of marshmallow candy shaped like cute little bunnies and chicks.

[sc]

CO: Okay, so your Peeps diorama… can you describe it for us?

LESLIE BROWN: Well, after a lot of thinking, we came up with the idea since the demise of the Twinkie and Hostess brand. The theme of it was “Peeps Mourn Their Peeps, Twinkies Twinkie Rest in Peace.

CO: Okay, so what does it look like?

LB: Well, it's actually there's one half that's the church, where there's actually being a funeral happening. And next to it is the cemetery. So in the diorama of the church part, we have Peeps. I'm the sewer of the group of between the two of us. So I actually make clothes for them. So I put them in hats and dresses and veils. And then I make male Peeps, so they look like they've got on suits and ties. And we had a coffin that we used like a craft box, and we had it cut in half so you could open half of it. And I went on eBay, and I brought a Twinkie and we lined it with satin and we put the Twinkie in it. And then we decorated the church complete with stained glass windows that actually have little Peeps in them in the window. And then we figured we had to have a minister. And, at that point, we thought well we have to have the pope. So the Peep pope is actually officiating over this this funeral.

JD: The Peep pope is high art compared to what Claire Wyckoff makes. Ms. Wyckoff is a runner, and an artist… sort of. When guest host, Laura Lynch spoke to her in the summer of 2014, Ms. Wyckoff was using Nike's GPS mapping app to make pictures out of her jogging routes.

SOUNDCLIP

LAURA LYNCH: Ms. Wyckoff, what was the first thing that you drew while you were running?

CLAIRE WYCKOFF: The first run a corgi, which is my favorite dog. I had corgis growing up. But I essentially, one day, went for a run and looked at the run afterward on the Nike app, and vaguely saw a dog’s head on the app. And decided the next day that maybe I should actually try and run a dog. It was an experiment, and I don't know a bunch of my Instagram friends — of which I had four — liked it, so I should try some more of these.

LL: Yeah, so you broadened your subject matter, didn't you? What was what was the second thing you drew?

CW: I believe the second thing I drew was a penis. It might have also been the third thing I drew. I can't remember.

LL: Okay, why?

CW: Because you should do what you're passionate about.

JD: It's a solid argument. On that note, arguably no one is more passionate about penises than Sigurdur Hjartarson. Mr. Hjartarson runs the Icelandic Phallological Museum. And, yes, "phallological" is just a fancy term for "penis." Here is Mr. Hjartarson speaking with Carol in 2007 about his quest to find a human donor for his members-only museum.

SOUNDCLIP

CO: So where are these letters of donation coming from?

SH: Well, one is Icelandic, and that's the main item. This is an Icelandic philological museum. And he is 92. And then I have got three foreign ones. One English, one German, and one American.

CO: And so what is it about their penises that they feel that should be in their museum?

SH: The first one, the Icelander, is a famous man in Iceland. And he was a famous womanizer. And the English man is a TV personality. The German photographer. But the American, I haven't seen the guy. He's talking about having it removed true, before he dies. Having it plastered and sent to me. But I'm keeping calm. I'm not in a hurry. I just wait for these guys to come.

CO: Are you I'm discouraging the American from making this donation I hope?

SH: No, no, no.

CO: I mean like the one where before he dies that he would donate it.

SH: Well, that’s his problem or his decision. He's a remarkable guy. He has eight tattoos on his penis, and he's having them removed now by laser — and going to put, at my suggestion, a beautiful, big tattoo of the American flag.

CO: On his penis?

SH: Yes sir!

JD: Sigurdur Hjartarson, speaking to Carol in 2007 about his efforts to secure a dismembered penis draped in a tattoo of the stars and stripes. As strange interviews go, that does rank pretty high on the list. But according to you, dear listeners, this next interview that Mary-Lou Finlay did back in 2000 is off the charts. Earlier this year, we asked you to vote for the weirdest “As It Happens” story of all time on our website. You voted for this.

MLF: Ms. Edginton, who was Mike The Headless Chicken?

SE: Mike was a rooster that was chosen to be chicken dinner September 10th, 1945, by Farmer Olsen. And when he chopped Mike’s head off, Mike lived. And he lived for 18 months after the fact of the chop.

MLF: He lived?

SE: He lived. And after his head was chopped off, Mike did not bleed very much. They determined that it missed the carotid artery.

MLF: Why didn't they put him out of his misery, if I can use the word?

SE: Well, apparently Mike really wasn't in that much misery because he was trying to crow. And from the reports that I've read, he acted just like an ordinary rooster that I assume he thought he was blind.

MLF: He didn’t know he didn’t have a head?

SE: No. He was fed and watered, and he was in the chicken yard, and basically went on as a chicken.

MLF: What did he die of eventually?

SE: Mike choked to death on a kernel of corn. I know, poor Mike.

JD: That was Mary-Lou Finlay speaking with Sally Edginton about Mike The Headless Chicken — easily one of the strangest stories we've ever had on the program. Poor Mike, indeed.

[Music: Show tune]

2018 Reading: “The Hockey Sweater”

JD: There's no question that Roch Carrier's classic hockey tale is beloved in Canada. But after "As It Happens" received this call, it's safe to say "The Hockey Sweater" is also dear to our dear neighbours to the south.

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[Sound: Phone]

ROCCO ZIPONI: My name is Rocco Ziponi, I'm calling from Washington, D.C. in the United States. I'm an only child, and my parents have been gone for quite a while now. My fiancée died a few years ago as well. And with her went all of my holiday traditions. I really have nothing to look forward to at this time of year anymore — until I discovered the annual reading of “The Hockey Sweater” by Roch Carrier. Well, I just was so taken with it. Right from the start, it's just so lovely and charming. And I just think it says so much about Canada and hockey, and the relationship between those two — which may be unlike any state in the world. And about the wonder and magic of childhood everywhere and for all time, so thanks for giving me something to look forward to at the holiday time again. Thanks. Bye.

JD: Thank you for sharing, Rocco. We'll send this one out to you. Here is Roch Carrier reading his story: "The Hockey Sweater", based on his own childhood in Ste. Justine, Quebec.

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ROCH CARRIER: The winters of my childhood were long, long seasons. We lived in three places – the school, the church, and the skating-rink, but our real life was on the skating-rink. Real battles were won on the skating-rink. Real strength appeared on the skating-rink. The real leaders showed themselves on the skating-rink. School was a sort of punishment. Parents always want to punish children and school is their most natural way of punishing us. However, school was also a quiet place where we could prepare for the next hockey game, lay out our next strategies. As for church, we found there the tranquillity of God: there we forgot school and dreamed about the next hockey game. Through our daydreams it might happen that we would recite a prayer: we would ask God to help us play as well as Maurice Richard.

We all wore the same uniform as he, the red, white, and blue uniform of the Montreal Canadiens, the best hockey team in the world; we all combed our hair in the same style as Maurice Richard, and to keep it in place we used a sort of glue – a great deal of glue. We laced our skates like Maurice Richard, we taped our sticks like Maurice Richard. We cut all his pictures out of the papers. Truly, we knew everything about him.

On the ice, when the referee blew his whistle the two teams would rush at the puck; we were five Maurice Richards taking it away from five other Maurice Richards; we were ten players, all of us wearing with the same blazing enthusiasm the uniform of the Montreal Canadiens. On our backs, we all wore the famous number 9.

One day, my Montreal Canadiens sweater had become too small; then it got torn and had holes in it.

My mother said: "If you wear that old sweater people are going to think we're poor!"

Then she did what she did whenever we needed new clothes. She started to leaf through the catalogue the Eaton company sent us in the mail every year. My mother was proud. She didn't want to buy our clothes at the general store; the only things that were good enough for us were the latest styles from Eaton's catalogue. My mother didn't like the order forms included with the catalogue; they were written in English and she didn't understand a word of it. To order my hockey sweater, she did as she usually did; she took out her writing paper and wrote in her gentle schoolteacher's hand:

"Cher Monsieur Eaton, Would you be kind enough to send me a Canadiens sweater for my son who is ten years old and a little too tall for his age and Docteur Robitaille thinks he's a little too thin? I'm sending you three dollars and please send me what's left if there's anything left. I hope your wrapping will be better than last time."

Monsieur Eaton was quick to answer my mother's letter. Two weeks later we received the sweater. That day I had one of the greatest disappointments of my life! I would even say that on that day I experienced a very great sorrow. Instead of the red, white, and blue Montreal Canadiens sweater, Monsieur Eaton had sent us a blue and white sweater with a maple leaf on the front - the sweater of the Toronto Maple Leafs. I'd always worn the red, white, and blue Montreal Canadiens sweater; all my friends wore the red, white, and blue sweater; never had anyone in my village ever worn the Toronto sweater, never had we even seen a Toronto Maple Leafs sweater. Besides, the Toronto team was regularly trounced by the triumphant Canadiens. With tears in my eyes, I found the strength to say:

"I'll never wear that uniform."

"My boy, first you're going to try it on! If you make up your mind about things before you try, my boy, you won't go very far in this life."

My mother had pulled the blue and white Toronto Maple Leafs sweater over my shoulders and already my arms were inside the sleeves. She pulled the sweater down and carefully smoothed all the creases in the abominable maple leaf on which, right in the middle of my chest, were written the words "Toronto Maple Leafs". I wept.

"I'll never wear it."

"Why not? This sweater fits you ... like a glove."

"Maurice Richard would never put it on his back."

"You aren't Maurice Richard. Anyway, it isn't what's on your back that counts, it's what you've got inside your head."

“You'll never put it in my head to wear a Toronto Maple Leafs sweater."

My mother sighed in despair and explained to me: "if you don't keep this sweater which fits you perfectly I'll have to write Monsieur Eaton and explain that you don't want to wear the Toronto sweater. Monsieur Eaton's an Anglais; he'll be insulted because he likes the Maple Leafs. And if he's insulted do you think he'll be in a hurry to answer us? Spring will be here and you won't have played a single game, just because you didn't want to wear that perfectly nice blue sweater."

So I was obliged to wear the Maple Leafs sweater. When I arrived on the rink, all the Maurice Richards in red, white, and blue came up, one by one, to take a look. When the referee blew his whistle I went to take my usual position. The coach came and warned me I'd be better to stay on the forward line. A few minutes later the second line was called; I jumped onto the ice. The Maple Leafs sweater weighed on my shoulders like a mountain. The coach came and told me to wait; he'd need me later, on defence. By the third period I still hadn't played; one of the defence-men was hit in the nose with a stick and it was bleeding. I jumped on the ice: my moment had come! The referee blew his whistle; he gave me a penalty. He claimed I'd jumped on the ice when there were already five players. That was too much! It was unfair! It was persecution! It was because of my blue sweater! I struck my stick against the ice so hard it broke. Relieved, I bent down to pick up the debris. As I straightened up I saw the young vicar, on skates, before me.

"My child," he said, "just because you're wearing a new Toronto Maple Leafs sweater unlike the others, it doesn't mean you're going to make the laws around here. A proper young man doesn't lose his temper. Now take off your skates and go to the church and ask God to forgive you.

Wearing my Maple Leafs sweater I went to the church, where I prayed to God; I asked him to send, as quickly as possible, moths that would eat up my Toronto Maple Leafs sweater.

JD: That was Roch Carrier reading his story: "The Hockey Sweater.”

December 26, 2018 episode transcript

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