Texas town organizes 0.5K run — with beer and doughnut stations en route
Jay Milton, the self-proclaimed 'czar' of the run, says he might not be able to finish
Calling all underachievers.
Are you brimming with pride after successfully running to catch the bus? Do you roll your eyes at Lycra-clad runners? Do you want to feel sporty while you guzzle beer, hack a dart and scarf down doughnuts?
Good news, a town in Texas is organizing a run just for you.
On May 5, in the town of Boerne, Texas, a crowd of underachievers will gather for an inaugural half-kilometre run that should take no more than a very manageable 10 minutes to complete.
"The 0.5K is the perfect distance," Jay Milton, the self-proclaimed "czar" of the race, told As It Happens host Carol Off. "Five hundred yards is nothing to laugh at."
"I'm an underachiever myself, and so are my friends. We just thought this would be a really fun, funny way to raise money for a good organization."
The tagline for the event is "it's the running event for the rest of us."
Milton admits he feels a "tinge of jealousy" watching other overachieving runners and is pleased this event will lampoon those keeners.
Despite the distance, the race will still include all of the usual trappings of an overachiever race. There will be a fitness instructor to walk participants through stretching exercises. The route is mapped out with official decimal point markers. There's even a medical tent because safety always comes first.
"We've got a coffee and doughnut station about half way through in case people feel like they need to load up on carbs so that they can make it the full way through."
And don't forget the designated smoking area.
Milton knows that hydration is key in endurance running and adds that two local brew pubs will also be providing beers for the runners.
"A pint of beer at the start and a pint of beer at the end," Milton said. "And really conveniently, they are about 0.5K away from each other."
If beer isn't enough incentive to finish the race, Milton notes there is also a VIP pass.
"If you register as a VIP, which is an additional $25, then you don't have to run the event at all. You [still] get your free beer," Milton said.
"We have the official VIP shuttle bus which is a 1963 VW Microbus that's been restored and that's going to shuttle the VIPs."
Speaking of vehicles, in addition to a participant medal, everybody will receive a "pretentious Euro style" bumper sticker that says 0.5K.
"It just lets everybody, you know, basically brag to all of their friends, and anybody who happens to be driving behind them, that this is a real athlete driving that car," Milton said.
Milton has teamed up with a local volunteer-run charity called Blessings in a Backpack that runs a food program for schools and proceeds from the race will be donated.
"Everybody is a winner in this race. Everybody is a winner."
Written by Mary Newman and John McGill. Interview produced by Mary Newman.