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As It Happens

Poet Ian Blake's security incident with haggis inspires poem

Scottish poet and author Ian Blake (a.k.a. Iain Dubh) was inspired to write a postscript to Robert Burns' celebrated poem "Address to a Haggis", after being recently reminded of a security incident surrounding his own haggis at a Birmingham airport.While en route to Dublin, Ireland, to visit a Scottish-born friend, Mr. Blake caused a stir at Birmingham airport, where security...
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As It Happens6:06Poet's security incident with haggis inspires poem
Scottish poet and author Ian Blake (a.k.a. Iain Dubh) was inspired to write a postscript to Robert Burns' celebrated poem " Address to a Haggis", after being recently reminded of a security incident surrounding his own haggis at a Birmingham airport.

While en route to Dublin, Ireland, to visit a Scottish-born friend, Mr. Blake caused a stir at Birmingham airport, where security officials mistook the haggis he was bringing for a plastic explosive.

Mr. Blake shares his story, and reads the poem he was inspired to write because of it (see text below).





P S
(With apologies to R.B.)

On being hauled out of the line by Securityat
Birmingham Airport "Because the scan shows
 you have plasticexplosive in your luggage, sir."

Wee sleekit, cow'rin, Security beastie
Whit a panic's in thy breastie,
Ye think my baggiesafely stowed
In y're aircraft will explode?
I tell ye man, ye'll niver've seen
A bonnier Haggis frae' McSween!

Does England wish to banish our
National dish or national flower?
"As for that sir, you can whistle -
OFFENSIVE WEAPON (ClassIII) Thistle.
A well-trained terrorist could kill
With a (Class  IV)  Daffodill,
So stop that Welshman!Bind him tight!
His leek's a stick of dynamite!"
Hold on Paddy! Think we're dumb?
Y're shamrock's nothing  but a bomb!
That Italian! Don't forget he
Disguises cordite as spaghetti!
Never let a Frenchman pass,
Don't believe it's Foie de Gras!
That turban there. Arrest him ! Hurry !
It's nitro-glycerinenot curry!
Such Sasunnach madness is no' sudden,
Yon Cromwell banned the Christmas pudd'n!

Ye powers that mak mankind ye can
Surelyensure a future scan
Will recognise thy sonsie face
Great chieftain o' the pudding race?

                                                             Iain Dubh

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