'I'm way funnier as a woman': My first show as a trans comic

By Lara Rae, as told to Now or Never

I've been doing stand-up comedy for over 35 years and I'm the co-founding director of the Winnipeg Comedy Festival, which started in 2000. But since 2015, I've been doing comedy as a female person.

My point of view has naturally changed with my gender. Part of my journey has been about finding my voice — my physical voice, but also my voice on stage.

I'm feeling my way around comedy again and it has been invigorating.

When I first came out as a trans person, I wasn't looking great.

When I look at pictures of myself with half a bottle of foundation on, and my choice of clothes, I'm utterly shocked at my tenacity. I had no shame and I was just so proud that I was doing it. And it was so necessary for me that I thought, "I'm just gonna plow through."

My first show as Lara Rae was for a bunch of lawyers and I'd actually forgotten to tell them that I transitioned. An hour before the show, I told the woman who booked me. She was like, "OK, that's what that is."

My old name and my old picture were on the poster. The woman went out on stage and introduced me and explained the situation so it wasn't quite utterly cold. But I was tentative when I came out and the crowd was tentative.

It took a while but eventually I got through it and I got all the same laughs. In a way, it was like I was going back to the open mic. I was even reluctant to charge as much money until I felt that I was at the same level as before.

'For the first time, I'm different than everyone else'

For the first time, I've lost the privilege of being a part of the most powerful group in the room in North American stand-up comedy.

The white male comic has hegemony.

But also, when I was presenting heterosexually, I had a great consensus with the audience. Now, for the first time in my life, almost everywhere I go, I'm the only one of me in the room. I'm the only trans person in the room. Often I'm the only woman in the room. And this is brand new to me.

For the first time, I'm different than everyone else. 

And so I realized that, in order to create a relationship with the audience, I have to address the elephant in the room. I have to let the audience know that I know that I'm transgender, that I'm not trying to pull the wool over anyone's eyes.

'She knows we know'

I was especially nervous before my first big gala as a woman at the Winnipeg Comedy Festival, with just over two thousand people in the audience. It was a television spot and it's a big deal. I knew the audience would be on side but I also knew that, until I got my first laugh, I'd be like every other nervous comic doing TV for the first time.

I thought of an opening joke an hour before I went on stage. I didn't run it by anyone else.

I walked out and said, "As some of you know, 18 months ago, I changed my gender."

A few people clapped and then, in this huge hall, I said, "For those of you in the back — to female."

And that got a huge laugh. I was basically making fun of the awkward stage in my transition. And the audience was like, "OK, she knows we know. She's got a sense of humour about it."

This is a terribly important part of this. This is what I'm trying to do — find the voice that's me. And also one that delivers jokes. It's a lot of pressure.

I'm way funnier as a woman because I'm myself. And when you're truly yourself, then you're funnier. Plus I'm happier. But I'm looking forward to a time when I will just be another woman on stage.