Why two parents pushed for an all gender bathroom at their son's school
Chris and Heidi Barrett have two sons, but neither is the stereotypical boy's boy. Hudson, who's 9, is very artistic and prefers drawing and Lego over sports. Dylan is 6 and loves dolls, skirts and sparkles.
At home, Chris and Heidi encourage their sons to be themselves.
"We're just like, 'Yeah be who you are!'" says Heidi, "and Chris is always like 'Don't conform, be yourself!' and I'm like 'This is great!' but then they go out into the world and you're like 'Ok but I don't want anyone to bother you or hurt your feelings.'"
At school, not everyone is so encouraging. Dylan, who identifies as a boy but wears clothes normally worn by girls, was bullied by some older kids while he was in the bathroom.
It came to light that Dylan would hold it all day and peer through the grate in the bathroom door to make sure no one else was using it before he went in. One teacher told Dylan he could use the male staff bathroom but that made him feel excluded and isolated from the other kids.
"He came home and he was very upset and he said that he wanted to just go to the bathroom with all the other kids ... that it wasn't fair that he got called out and had to go use a different bathroom."
Dylan started wondering if he should just use the girls' bathroom even though he's a boy. Hudson started getting bullied because of Dylan. So the Barretts set out to try fixing the problem once and for all.
A teacher guessed the picture of the traditional stick figure man on the door was getting to Dylan and Heidi thought there could be some merit to that. Soon after, Heidi was sent a picture of an "all gender" bathroom sign and forwarded it to the boy's teachers.
One day after school, Dylan told Heidi that Hudson's teacher had taken him out of class to show him a picture that displayed male and female bathroom signifiers, but also included a picture of a man wearing half a skirt and half a pair of pants. Together, Dylan and the teacher placed that sign over the male staff bathroom sign. Then other students starting asking questions.
Hudson's teacher had an answer for the curious kids: "This bathroom is for children that don't feel safe going to their own respective gender bathrooms. They are allowed to use this bathroom."
The Barretts give great credit to the school for running with the idea of an all gendered bathroom and hope that it helps other kids struggling to fit into societal gender norms as much as it has helped Dylan.