Reaction to the papal apology

Guest: Falen Johnson

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THE POPE: [Via Interpretation] It is painful to think of how the firm soil of values, language and culture that made up the authentic identity of your people was eroded and that you have continued to pay the price for this.

ANTHONY GERMAIN: This being what Pope Francis called cultural destruction and forced assimilation in Canada's residential schools. The head of the Catholic Church began his pilgrimage of penance with a heartfelt address to indigenous people in Massachusetts. Alberta, we'll hear how survivors who were there are receiving the papal apology. We'll also go to Langley, B.C., where it appears a shooter deliberately targeted homeless people. That's in half an hour. And then.

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I just know that I am frankly lucky that it was one year, because I do know enough to know that very few women get just one year.

AG: When she was 23 years old, Anna Maria Tremonti was briefly married to a man who beat her. She kept the abuse she endured in that relationship a secret for decades. And now the esteemed journalist and former host of this show is sharing her story. Coming up, we'll bring you episode one of Ana Maria Tremonti, new CBC podcast. It's called Welcome to Paradise. But first, we begin in Alberta with a historic visit. I'm Anthony Germain in Saint John's in for Matt Galloway. And this is The Current.

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AG: More than 60,000 people are expected for a holy mass at Edmonton's Commonwealth Stadium this morning. It's one of two big events for Pope Francis as he continues what he's calling his penned an annual pilgrimage to apologise in Canada for the abuses that indigenous people suffered at Catholic run residential schools. And as meaningful as today's events may be, it's hard to imagine it. Topping the significance of what happened at Maskwacis, alberta.

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THE POPE: [Via interpretation] I am here because the first step of my penitential pilgrimage amongst you is that of again, asking forgiveness, of telling you once more that I am deeply sorry. Sorry for the ways in which regrettably many Christians supported the colonising mentality of the powers that oppressed indigenous peoples. I am sorry. I ask forgiveness in particular, for the ways in which many members of the church and of religious communities cooperated, not least through their indifference in projects of cultural destruction and forced assimilation promoted by the governments of that time, which culminated in the system of residential schools.

AG: Historic words. Falen Johnson is our special correspondent on the papal visit. Good morning.

FALEN JOHNSON: Good morning, Anthony.

AG: So you were there for this historic event. What was it like to be there?

FALEN JOHNSON: Well, yeah, it was intense. I think, you know, the event, you know, means different things to different people. So I think at times being, you know, there in the crowd or around the crowd, it almost felt like you were watching a different movie depending on what your perspective was. It was a really interesting feeling to arrive. You know, it's a moment that many have been preparing for for a long time, and it's loaded for so many. You know, there were a lot of indigenous people in our communities who are on edge about it. There were some people who were really excited about it and no one really know how it would go, what would be said, you know, how historic it would be. And I think expectations were really high. And, you know, I think Maskwacis did a really great job in terms of organising things around really smoothly, I'd say. But, you know, for me, there was something really nice about it to be there with community, to be around so many indigenous people. Even though we were there for something, something so heavy. You know, I think it's just nice for us to gather sometimes, no matter what that outcome may be.

AG: Well, there are so many striking images that came out of yesterday listening and watching the live coverage of the event. Tell me about the event from from where you were because you were fortunate enough to be there. And we can discuss the merits of whether it met expectations or not, but the atmosphere. What was it like as you arrived?

FALEN JOHNSON: Yeah, when I arrived, you know, it felt sombre for sure. You know, the event sort of kicked off with a lot of delegates, you know, members of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission Survivors Circle. And, you know, a lot of survivors spoke and were very clear about what they wanted to come out of the day, you know, what their expectations were for the apology and for the papal appearance. Many did not mince words. You know, they spoke their minds. They spoke about their experiences and what they wanted to hear on that day. And I think a lot of people there were feeling the weight of it all. You know, I think no one there in that crowd was not touched by residential school. I think no one in Canada can sit there, not touched by residential school. It's something that impacts us all. And I definitely felt that in the moment while I was there observing the events.

AG: I like the way you put it earlier, feeling so like a bunch of very different people watching and taking different movies. How would you describe the crowd? I mean, who was there taking this in?

FALEN JOHNSON: Yeah, I mean, the majority of the people there were indigenous people of all ages. It was really you know, I think at these events, it's really nice to see some some youth, some kids running around. There's just something that is really heartening for me as an indigenous person to see to see our young ones there. You know that I think that really points to the fact that we're still here and that and that just feels very- that feels that's almost feels ceremonial to me, seeing the kids there. There are a lot of elders. There were politicians. There were a lot of police and security. You know, there were there were indigenous people from a multitude of nations. And it's kind of hard to know just how many were there, but there were also some empty seats. There were a lot of empty seats in front of where I was sitting, and I'm not sure if that's because of the weather. The weather was a little bit dodgy. It was rainy and it was sunny. And at points it almost seemed like the weather didn't quite know what to do, which, you know, somehow matched the tone of the day in a way. And as the event progressed, I think the weather almost dictated some tonal shifts. It was it was kind of interesting is good.

AG: You mentioned tonal shift, because I wanted to ask you about something that you mentioned during the live coverage in the broadcast. You compared the event at one point to a pow wow. What what similarities did you notice?

FALEN JOHNSON: Well, yeah, it was. It did feel like a pow wow and it was something I struggled with. I was like, is this something I should say? Is this like is this going to, like, you know, offend anyone or anything? But it really did. As the events went on, there were there was parallels for sure. You know, there were people in regalia. There were dancers. There was a big drum. There were Eagles staff carriers, and there was a grand entry. And that's something and those are things that you see at powwows. Those things happen there. And there was also, you know, dancers in the space. There was also. But, you know, then there's the other side of it, right? There's the banner that was carried through the centre of the Arbour with the names of some of the children who have been found on the grounds of former residential schools. You know, the ones who didn't make it back. You know, a lot of concerts. But but I think, you know, there was something about this portion of the day's events, even though the pope was there. I you know, I almost forgot that he was there. In a way. It felt like it was really centred in indigeneity in the way that we relate to each other. And I think there was something really nice about that. Yeah. And you know, it was about our people coming together in the way that we do for our healing. And I actually had a chance to speak with some of the dancers who were present for that grand entry, and they spoke to why they wanted to be there.

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VOICE 1: The real reason why I was here was for myself, my family, and to dance for people who can't dance and to heal and to help other people heal. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity. I thought we put a lot of heart and, you know, effort into it. And, you know, I listened very carefully and, you know, it was genuine. And, you know, he came out here to really say what he had to say. And, you know, it was genuine.

VOICE 2: It was powerful. And I really enjoyed it. And it was something different for sure, dancing in front of, you know, as a pope. And it's not different that I there I danced for, you know, my family, my ancestors, my my elders. And for my late mother, who was a residential school survivor, it was really traumatic for her. And she didn't really talk about it much. She told me very little things about it and and when she was around, I was able to tell, you know, she was still dealing with a lot of it.

AG: So obviously some different perspectives and some positivity mixed in there with also the seriousness of of the situation and what was actually being apologised for once the Pope arrived. Falen How did the how did the tone shift, if at all?

FALEN JOHNSON: Yeah. Oh, there there definitely was a noticeable shift. You know, things I think you could feel the anticipation of what was going to be said. I think a lot of people, you know, were kind of on the edge of their seat about what would happen, but excitement to right again it's sort of like that different perspectives angle where so many people were there for different reasons. You know, I saw I saw when the pope's motorcade or, you know, when he arrived and there was people running to take photos of him. People were excited about it, too. And I think a lot of people really wanted to hear what that address would be with the Doctrine of Discovery. You mentioned the papal bulls. You know, how fulsome would this apology be.

AG: As the apology itself, since you just mentioned it? And looking at papers and websites this morning, getting ready for the current, there was so much analysis of what was said. What struck you about the words about what Pope Francis actually said?

FALEN JOHNSON: I mean, he did use words like, assimilation, systematic marginalisation, words like that. Colonisation was mentioned. But I think for me, the thing that stuck out was what wasn't said. And the one thing that stuck out for me was that there was no apology for the sexual abuse that happened at the schools that was left out. There was mention of physical, verbal, psychological and spiritual. But I know for a lot of survivals that piece an apology for the sexual abuse that happened was something that they were really looking for. And, you know, there was also no mention of the church's role as a whole. It was also sort of framed as individual members of the clergy again, which is something that we saw happen in Rome. And there was also mention of an investigation. So that was something that stood out to me as well. You know what that means, an investigation of what? That was sort of unclear for myself and I think some other people there. And I spoke to many who felt like the apology just didn't go far enough.

AG: Obviously a whole bunch of perspectives because for the dancers, you know, we heard people saying that it was sincere, but even if it didn't go far enough, I want to ask you about some symbolism. There's so much symbolism attached to these kinds of moments. After the apology, some leaders of Treaty six gave the pope a headdress as a symbolic gift. What did you make of that?

FALEN JOHNSON: Well, I'm not from the community. I'm not from treaty six. So that protocol is not for my community, so I can't speak to it with any expertise, you know, and I don't know what the reasoning was behind it. I think a lot of people are curious. Immediately after the event, I was checking my social media and the memes have already started from the indigenous community. There's a lot of popechella jokes happening, you know, a lot of things like that are online, a lot of a lot of memes, but it's also angered a lot of people and it's really hurt a lot of people. I think, I've seen people mentioning that they feel triggered by seeing an image of the pope wearing a ceremonial item like that. When so many of our ceremonial items are still are still under lock and key in the Vatican. Yeah. So for many people, that was definitely something that was difficult. And it added a bit of an extra sting to the events.

AG: A bit complicated, though. It is pretty hard for the pope to say no thanks, right?

FALEN JOHNSON: Yeah, I would imagine so.

AG: Now, you spoke to people after the event and you've already alluded and shown us the, you know, the multitude of different perspectives and reactions. But what kinds of reactions did did people share with you when you took that in after the apology being delivered?

FALEN JOHNSON: Yeah, it was interesting. It was really interesting to see, you know, because I was fortunate enough to have to get a hard copy of the speech as it was being delivered. So I was able to sort of read along with it and really like take my time to read it over. But a lot of people, you know, in the crowd didn't have that luxury. They were able to, but they were able to hear the things in the speech that were missing for them or what they, you know, maybe took issue with. But there was also a mix of reaction, right. Like some people you you heard off the top, a lot of people were cheering, you know, different communities experienced different traumas in regards to the residential schools. And again, some felt like it fell short and that it wasn't enough. I spoke to Kilikvak. I'm hoping I get her name right. My northern languages are pretty rough, but she's the CEO of Nunavut [unintelligible].

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I notice that the Pope apologised for physical, emotional and psychological abuse. I don't think those were the that was the order and that might not be the order or the terms that he used, but he did not apologise for sexual abuse. And the report I talked about is done in 1994, it had 78 credible claims of sexual abuse on children by a number of fathers, brothers and nuns. Sometimes two adults participated in incidents. And each of those adults had a responsibility to the children. They had a duty to children, but no one has been held accountable.

AG: You can certainly hear the conviction in her voice there. I understand you also spoke to a woman who attended the residential school that was actually just across the street from where the ceremony happened yesterday.

FALEN JOHNSON: Yeah, I spoke with Marilyn Yellow Bird Rohan, who's a survivor of the Ermine Skin School. She pointed behind us where we were speaking and said, you know, that that's where it was. And she sees this moment as a first step in a lot of ways.

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It was just an honour for us, for our people to to have the pope come all the way from Rome, from Rome, like, you know, to come in and do an apology. And when he did his apology. Like, you know, a lot of the people broke down and cried. So I thought for me, that's a healing process, even just hoping to see them in that state. Yeah. So for me, I'm happy. I'm very happy. So, you know, what would you like to see happen next? I'd like to see him, I actually would like to see the Pope keep coming back to be with us. Like, you know, this is a beginning, like this is for us right now. And, you know, for him to come back to our community did not forget us First Nations people. I think it's so important for him to come back. You know, of course we need that healing process to happen within our communities.

AG: It's remarkable feeling, the range of response that you're sharing with with us this morning. And you have been speaking to a lot of survivors before all the coverage of the actual visit in the lead up to this event. How do you think this apology is likely to be received overall? I mean, I'm totally getting trying to get my head around how we quantify whether this apology is successful or not.

FALEN JOHNSON: Yeah, I don't know if we'll ever be able to quantify that because no one's experience is the same. But I think the thing for me that I'm trying to remember is that, you know, this moment is not an easy moment. And after the pope leaves, it's just going to be us. So I wonder how we can heal in the ways that we need to and how we keep making changes and how we keep pushing forward, how we keep getting the government to acknowledge our history and and wrongdoings and and how we keep moving forward.

AG: Because I guess a lot of people who cover Indigenous affairs, both within the communities and without, are going to probably wonder, you know, whether it's here in Newfoundland and Labrador and our communities and in Ontario and right across the country, are we going to be getting reaction from every single community to try to determine, you know, how how heartfelt and significant this actually was?

FALEN JOHNSON: I think so. And I think even within those individual communities, there's going to be a variety of experiences. And, you know, and of course, back to that thing that I think we always go back to, which is indigenous people are not a monolith. We are varied and different people with different experiences. And so this is just going to resonate differently in those communities with individuals.

AG: Now you're continuing to cover the pope's visit for the rest of it in the duration. What are your plans today?

FALEN JOHNSON: Today I'm heading over to the Commonwealth Stadium. There's going to be a mass there. The pope's holding a mass. I'm not going to be going into the mass. I'm kind of more interested to see what's happening on the street and just seeing how people are feeling about what happened yesterday. And I'm interested to see how that goes. I think there's going to be a lot of people there for that mass, but I think there's going to be some people who have strong reaction to the apology. I know some survivors are going and then getting ready to head off to Quebec City. And it's the same refrain, I think, for me, which is, will there be an apology today? Well, we hear that sentiment of an apology in Quebec City.,You know, will the reason that the pope's here or the perceived reason why he's here continue as he continues his tour?

AG: Well, as you full know, I mean, the Vatican has, I think, one of the largest press offices outside of Washington. And I wonder if they're following Canadian media coverage, very sophisticated operation, and maybe there's a chance that they'll say or determine, you know, we have to alter the pope's messaging to actually address some of the sexual abuse.

FALEN JOHNSON: I would hope so. I mean, honestly, it's sort of sticks out. It sticks out. And it it definitely seems to have have really hurt some people to not have that included. And I and I, if I'm fully honest with you right now, it does it hurts me to know in that lead up of speaking to so many survivors, hearing how important that piece was for them to not hear it yesterday, it hit me pretty hard.

AG: It does seem to be the glaring omission from everything. I really appreciate the conversations. One last question for you just quickly. Is the pope as frail as he appears? What was your sense of his his health?

FALEN JOHNSON: He went by me. I saw him, you know, and I know he has health issues for myself. It's hard for me to gauge that. I do know that he was in a wheelchair. He did stand up at one point to to to put the headdress on, but it's hard to know. Yeah. So I guess we'll see as the trip goes on. I know it's not flying when you are older. Right. So we'll see. We'll see how this trip from Edmonton to Quebec City treats him.

AG: Okay. Thank you so much and good luck with the rest of the coverage.

FALEN JOHNSON: Thanks so much, Anthony.

AG: Failing Johnson, our special correspondent for the papal visit in Edmonton. Now we realise listening to these stories may be triggering for some people. If you need assistance, Canada's Indian Residential School Survivors and family crisis line is available and that's available 24 hours a day. That number 1 800 721 0066. Once again. 1 800 721 0066. Well, the CBC News is next. And then a gunman in Langley, B.C., killed two people in a shooting spree yesterday. Early police reports said he was targeting the city's homeless population. Coming up, we'll hear from advocates about the violence that people who are homeless experience across this country. I'm Anthony Germain in Saint John's in for Matt Galloway and you are listening to The Current.

Langley homeless community 'living in fear' after deadly shooting, says advocate

Guests: Jessica Cheung, Kim Snow, Tim Richter

AG: Hello. I'm Anthony Germain and you're listening to The Current.

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AG: Still to come through her reporting, Anna maria Tremonti helped give a voice to victims of intimate partner violence, but rarely revealed how she, too, had escaped an abusive marriage. We'll bring you her story starting today with the first episode of her new CBC podcast, Welcome to Paradise. But first, why a shooting spree in British Columbia is worrying homeless advocates.

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AG: Early yesterday morning, the city of Langley, B.C., woke up to gunshots. Three people are dead, including the shooter, and two people are injured. It's believed some of the victims were homeless. We'll speak more about that in just a few moments. Jessica Cheung is a reporter with CBC Vancouver and she was in Langley yesterday. Jessica, good morning.

JESSICA CHEUNG: Good morning.

AG: So what can you tell us about what happened?

JESSICA CHEUNG: Yes, you know, many in metro Vancouver, they were woken up yesterday morning by this emergency alert. And this was after a suspect moved through Langley, which is around an hour outside of Vancouver and shot four people, killing two before confronting police. Now, following an interaction with police, the suspect was shot and killed by officers. Now, I was on scene yesterday morning and there were multiple scenes where shootings took place. The first was at a casino in the downtown core, another near a supporting housing project. The shooter moved to the Langley bus loop and then to a plaza near Langley Bypass in 200 Street, where the last victim was shot and where the suspect was killed by police. Now, the incident, of course, as I just said, resulted in a series of emergency alerts that warned residents about this threat to public safety in this incident and to stay away from the area. Now, police say that threat is now over as they believe that there is just one lone shooter and that shooter was apprehended yesterday.

AG: Now, Jessica, I checked out some of the coverage from BC yesterday and I saw a map basically pinpointing those four different scenes you mentioned. What do we know about why the violence was spread out this way?

JESSICA CHEUNG: Yeah, not a lot of information on why the incidents were spread. Particular way. But what we do know is that police are saying that the shootings happened in a five hour time span, essentially. Now, they started off at midnight at the first scene, which was at the casino, and then proceeded towards Creek Stone Place, which is, as I said, a supporting housing project. At around 3:00 a.m. and then at 5:00 a.m., police say the shooting at the Lynly bus loop occurred. And then 5:45 was when the last shooting incident at that plaza near Langley Bypass happened. Shortly after that, police had shot and killed the suspect. Now, as I said, police are not really saying why these incidents were spread out in this way. But, you know, it was the nature of these shootings or the way that these shootings happened that police say was the initial indicator that this was a targeted shooting.

AG: Now, you say target. I know in the initial reports the police indicated the victims were, quote, transient. What can you tell us about the victims?

JESSICA CHEUNG: Yeah. Police said initially that all the victims involved were a transient or people experiencing homelessness, but investigators have actually now back-pedalled on that a bit, saying that that fact is still under investigation. And again, you know, they said what led them to believe that the shooting was targeting vulnerable people was the nature of these shootings, but they wouldn't really go into much more detail than that. Police do say that they've identified all the victims, but they are waiting to notify next of kin before releasing their names. And as to how the victims are related to the incident or related to the shooter. That's all still being determined by police.

AG: Well, as we know, one of the three people killed was the shooter. What do we know about the perpetrator?

JESSICA CHEUNG: Yeah. Police have identified the shooter as Jordan Daniel Goggin. Now he's from Surrey and was known to police. But police say that he had noncriminal contact and asked for his history leading up to this incident occurring. That's all still under investigation. But what we do know is that police did engage with Goggin at the Langley Centre Plaza and was shot dead by police. And at the scene yesterday morning I did see on that scene what appeared to be a police vehicle and its windshield was just, you know, riddled with bullets. But police wouldn't give any details on whether gunfire was exchanged between the suspect and police, but that just the suspect was shot and killed by officers.

AG: Yeah, I saw some of the photographs and it certainly looks as though there was there was a lot of gunfire in that exchange or whatever has happened. I guess we'll have to wait to find out. What can you tell us about the motivations behind this attack? I mean, you mentioned the police have kind of walk back a bit from from highlighting the fact that these people were transient. But given the initial reporting. Do we know if that is why they were targeted?

JESSICA CHEUNG: We don't have confirmation on that. You know, police really aren't providing any details on the motive at this time. They're saying it's just too early in the investigation. But, yeah, as I said before, the initial police report said that this gunman was targeting homeless, transient, vulnerable people. But again, that is still under investigation. They say they cannot confirm now that the victims were people experiencing homelessness. That's all part of this investigation that's going on. And hopefully they'll have more information for us at a later date. But, you know, they do say what they do say is that it was targeted and an isolated incident. But, you know, the nature of how these victims are related to the shooter or what happened before the shooting, that's all to be determined.

AG: And I guess there might be more clarity once we if we get any more information about the the injured people. Right. If we can actually detect a pattern, a pattern there, perhaps we'll wait to see, I guess, what happens with this investigation. As you mentioned, they're going to continue to investigate this. Any indication from the police who I know are always tight lipped when there's a serious act of violence causing loss of life like this? What do they hope to learn as they investigate?

JESSICA CHEUNG: Well, you know, they say that they are still, you know, at the scene, there's a lot of scenes to be processed and this is going to take some time. But they are still speaking with witnesses and family, the family of the the shooter that they're trying to speak with and get more information there. And that's to do with the motive and how this all kind of transpired. But really, what they're looking for is, one, to see the scope of this this shooting and also to see they say that they need to confirm that this was a lone shooter incident, that this suspect was acting alone. But, you know, lots of questions here, but police are saying they launched a process asking for patience from from the public. And and yeah, we'll see what what transpires in the next couple of days, in the next even few hours to see what they come up with in the investigation.

AG: Okay, Jessica, appreciate you bringing us the very latest on this. Thank you very much.

JESSICA CHEUNG: Mm hmm. Thank you.

AG: That's Jessica Cheung, a reporter with CBC Vancouver. Well, Kim Snow is the founder of a community outreach group that supports people without homes in Langley, B.C. And Kim joins us now. Good morning.

KIM SNOW: Good morning.

AG: Kim. First off, I understand that you actually knew two of the victims. And I'm sorry for for what you know, for what you're going through right now. My condolences.

KIM SNOW: Thank you. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, I...

AG: Given what you do and the fact that, you know, two of these people, how are you actually processing what happened yesterday?

KIM SNOW: And it's really it's very hard. It's very hard. And it's shocking to find out that someone could go out and shoot, really, suffering souls out there for no reason because they are helpless. And to be targeted like that, it's it's just not a good thing. So and a lot of our homeless people, as I going to say, less fortunate, are homeless. They're so afraid. Like yesterday was just a scary day for them all. And even having to go through the night and wake up again in the morning when they're on the streets talking to them yesterday, it's a very, very sad situation here in Langley.

AG: I was going to say, as someone who's well positioned and connected with people who don't have homes for the variety of reasons that people don't have homes, what what are they telling you?

KIM SNOW: Like I said, they are they're afraid and they're like, I don't and again, I don't think white people are shocked that these things are happening. Our homeless were in four hotels in Langley through COVID, so they felt safe. They had a roof over their head. And, you know, that was a good thing for them. And, you know, they would come to the church on the Wednesdays. That's where we do our, you know, lunches and and we have a free store and stuff like that. They looked healthier, they felt better about themselves. And then they end up getting kicked up and put on the streets again. And that's been over three months. So we have, you know, easy over 150 people that are sleeping on the streets. I mean, we have over 300 homeless in our community. But, you know, they are in bushes asleep, but they sleep in bushes. They sleep on, you know, the streets in front of stores, all that stuff. But they are very vulnerable and not as the sad part. And the shooter knew that. So that that's what was happening.

AG: I think in reading the coverage, I think one of the people was struck by at least one bullet actually near some kind of housing establishment to help this person.

KIM SNOW: Yes. Yes. Yeah, there is. And I mean, he he started he had it planned. He I mean, that's again, it's assuming he had it planned. I mean, he went to four or five different places. So it's not just a one place. And within that amount of time, I mean, it's really sad. But, you know, you kind of wonder, is there anybody else that's somewhere that was hidden somewhere or that that he or she got shot? So today we'll find out more. And then tomorrow is our usual Wednesday. Like I was just saying, that we do lunches for our less fortunate and our working poor, our seniors. So and that's when we need a lot of support. Also, that's when you'll hear more stories. And we know all the people that are on the streets like we know them by first name basis, so they tell you a lot of things. And it was so sad and honestly, to hear some of these stories saying, 'My best friend just got killed.' And they all know each other. They all help each other. They all support each other. They're like one big family that are living on the street. And it's really sad cause it just, you know, we treat, well, wild dogs are treated better than our human beings on the streets in Langley.

AG: And I think many of us, you know, forget that they actually are a community in cities where ever homeless people are, and that is basically every city. What kind of discrimination do your clients think that's the right word to use? What kind of discrimination do they face in language?

KIM SNOW: A lot. You know, a lot of people are judging like they they judge and they need to realise this. What I always try to say is just be kind and listen to their stories, hear them out. They all have a story. They're all somebody's mom, dad, brother, son. They're human beings. They're not like I said, they're not wild animals. And yesterday, like, it broke my heart, I had over ten or 11 parents that are calling, saying, 'Please tell me it's not my son or my daughter that died.' And to give them that I'm sorry, I can't tell you the names, but I'll let you know it is not your son or it's not your daughter. The relief that you hear on the other side of the phone, it's a heartbreaking thing. I mean, I'm a mother myself, so it is heartbreaking. But at least, you know, you give them not that they are okay, your child is okay. So and now by the time the parents of these two deceased find out, it's a heartbreaking thing.

AG: The anxiety just to pick up that phone, to say, okay, I'm going to call Kim to ask her.

KIM SNOW: It is. And yeah, and that's what they that's what they do. So it's like because they know we know them like myself and Pastor Lee's at the church the language in your church so they know we know everybody. Like I said by the first name, it's like one big family. And if they need anything or whatever, they're always coming to us. They're always- and you know, and some of these people want to really get off the streets. So this is what I say to people. It's mental illness, you know, like do not judge. We have a lot of people on the street that are mentally ill. We have, again, a lot of people that with housing that lost their jobs and all that stuff. So just be kind and try to make a difference. And don't blame. I think what it is, is we all tend to blame so-and-so's not doing their so-and-so's not doing that. Let's just group up and work together. Like I always say, teamwork makes dreams work. And these homeless, just like I said, they need to be given their dignity. But they are. They're living in fear. I've had so many calls also last night. It's Kim. I just want you to know I'm here, you know, just in case, like, for tomorrow. Like, it's heartbreaking when we're here sleeping in our beds, nice and warm and they're telling us, you know, they're telling me what bushes or where they're close to so we can check up on them the next day.

AG: Well, Kim, you paint a very sobering picture of the context of where these. Killings have happened. And I appreciate your time. And once again, I'm sorry that I'm sorry that you lost two friends.

KIM SNOW: Thank you. Thank you. Like I said, they are human beings are not wild animals. They're somebody's family.

AG: Thank you.

KIM SNOW: Thank you also for the awareness and we really need that. So I appreciate it. And thank you for having me on here.

AG: All right. Bye now.

KIM SNOW: Bye bye.

AG: Kim Snow is a homeless advocate with Kim's Angels. For many people experiencing homelessness, being a victim of violence is common. Tim Richter is the president and CEO of the Canadian Alliance to End Homelessness and he joins us from Calgary. Hello.

TIM RICHTER: Good morning.

AG: What went through your mind when you heard about what had happened in Langley?

TIM RICHTER: Well, you know, it's it's really, really horrifying. But it's also frustratingly, heartbreakingly routine for people experiencing homelessness to be to be victimized. As Kim was saying.

AG: And I think, as you know, Mr. Richter, a lot of people's reactions, one of shock at this kind of violence. You work within these communities on a daily basis, as you mentioned. What do we need to understand about the kind of violence and the nature of the violence that people who are homeless face?

TIM RICHTER: Well, the violence is pretty extreme and it's pretty routine. And we know from different studies that homeless men are nine times more likely to be murdered than men that aren't homeless. We know that 60% of young people who experience homelessness in our country report being victims of violence. 75% of women who are in housing need and homelessness report being victims of violence, and one in ten of those are reported to be victims of human trafficking. You know, here in Calgary, just in the spring of this year, the Calgary Police Service charged two men with a hate crime for assaulting a homeless person at the train station downtown. Remember that? But all of that is almost certainly an underestimate because most of that crime was unreported.

AG: And I guess that leads into my next question. If if this prevalence of this kind of violence and harassment against people who don't have homes is so common. Why do you think it seems as if it's easy for for those of us who do have homes to ignore this? I mean, I think Kim alluded to this, but why does it seem almost oh, well, we're not going to pay that much attention to this?

TIM RICHTER: Well, you know, people who are experiencing homelessness sort of live on the margins of society and most are trying to avoid or, you know, to safe, to be out of sight, out of mind. And, you know, they're invisible. They live lives, invisible in our communities in many ways and will be hurt and die invisibly in our communities.

AG: What the public discourse around around the issues of homelessness and the experience of homeless, how do you think that contributes to to how homeless people are portrayed?

TIM RICHTER: Well, I think there is a widely held belief that homelessness is a choice or homelessness is due to mental illness or addiction or some kind of individual fault or failing, when, in fact, homelessness in Canada is, you know, sort of systemic in nature and is driven by policy and poverty. Homelessness in Canada, the way we see it today — mass homelessness, I call it — hasn't always existed. You know, we didn't see homelessness like we do today until probably about the mid 1980s. You know, I'm I'm in Calgary and in 1992, the city of Calgary did a point in time count of people experiencing homelessness and they counted, you know, about 350, 400 people. By 2008, that number was over 4000. Homelessness, the way we see it today hasn't always been here. And it's it's systemic in nature. And it's absolutely not driven by mental illness or addiction. The rates of mental illness and addiction haven't really changed in Canada over the last 40 years, but the rates of homelessness have and that's down to to poverty and policy.

AG: But when you say it's systemic and given actually the numbers, the numbers you gave me, I mean, these are eye popping numbers. What is systemic about it?

TIM RICHTER: Well, you know, in the in the late eighties, the federal government began restoring investment in affordable housing and began cutting transfers to provinces that funded income supports and welfare, health care, things like that. And as provinces then subsequently began cutting those things. We began to see this rise of modern mass homelessness. And, you know, Canadians, we every year we see natural disasters and homelessness in Canada is on the same scale or larger than our biggest natural disasters. It affects 235,000 different people per year, 35,000 on any given night cost. The Canadian economy over $7 billion a year kills an untold number of people on the same scale as our biggest natural disasters. But it happens slowly. Individually, it's almost like a drip feed of misery happening one or one person at a time when household at a time. So it doesn't have the the drama of the loss of housing due to a fire flood. But the impact and and and the mechanism is very similar.

AG: Well, the analogies we draw there are very, very striking. Mr. Richter, appreciate your time and thank you very much.

KIM SNOW: Thank you.

AG: Thank you, sir. That's Tim Richter, the president and CEO of the Alliance to End Homelessness. Well, last week we brought you a story about a disaster in Brazil. In November of 2015, a dam in the city of Mariana broke, submerging dozens of homes and toxic waste and spreading pollutants hundreds of kilometres along waterways. It is considered the worst environmental disaster the country has faced. And for years victims have been calling for accountability against the Anglo-Australian mining company BHP, which co-manage the dam. In our broadcast we erroneously, erroneously said that the company, BHP, did not respond to a request for comment. They did in fact respond and we simply missed the email. So have their statements here. Their statement reads, quote, "We will continue to support the long established and ongoing remediation programmes on the ground in Brazil by the end of this year. Those programmes will have spent around 30 billion Brazilian reals or seven billion CAD in reparation and compensation for those impacted by the dam collapse. The Court of Appeals judgement is not a decision in relation to the merits of the claims made in the group action. It is concerned with the preliminary question of whether the case can continue against BHP in the UK. We will continue to defend this action, which we believe remains unnecessary, as it duplicates matters already covered by the existing and ongoing work under the supervision of the Brazilian courts and legal proceedings in Brazil. As such, we have applied for permission to appeal the judgement", and that's the end of the quote from that statement. Well, now something to tell you about coming up later this week. Dr. Anthony Fauci is the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases in the United States. As you well know, he has spent more than 40 years studying the most pernicious infectious diseases, including HIV, AIDS and, more recently, COVID 19. Matt Galloway had a chance to speak with Dr. Fauci about the 24th International AIDS Conference in Montreal and ask him where the world is at when it comes to COVID 19.

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And I think what we have to accept is that we're not going to eradicate this virus. We've only eradicated one virus in all of public health history, and that is smallpox and the characteristics of smallpox. Or that it is a virus that doesn't change much at all. I mean, literally over decades, if not centuries. Number two, the immunity that you get from smallpox, either through infection or vaccination, is measured in decades, if not lifetime. And there has been historically a universal acceptance of vaccines. The same holds true for viruses that we've eliminated. And that's the reason why I don't think we are going to eliminate COVID for the simple reason that when you eliminated measles and polio, again, those were viruses that don't change much. The other issue is that the vaccines and prior infection with measles or polio again confers. A protection against reinfection that is measured in at least decades and maybe lifetime. The difficulty we are now facing and have faced with SARS-CoV-2 is that we have a virus that continues to evolve and continues to get new variants. Some of the variants are strikingly different than the prior. Some are just minor modifications of it and the immunity associated with vaccines and prior infection. Although it does protect you reasonably well against severe outcomes leading to hospitalisations and death, it doesn't protect you as well over a period of time from infection. All that means is, you know, a long way of saying we're going to have to learn to live with this virus, but hopefully to live with it at a very low level, that doesn't disrupt the social order.

AG: Now, you can hear Matt's full interview with Dr. Fauci later this week. Well, coming up after your regional update.

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I look in the mirror and I cannot recognise the face looking back at me. I've been crying, my face is puffy, my hair is askew. I am unrecognisable even to myself. It is as if he has taken whatever is inside of me and ripped it away.

AG: That's journalist Anna maria Tremonti, reading a diary entry from when she was 23 years old and married to a man who beat her. In her new CBC podcast. She tells the story of how she was the victim of intimate partner violence. We'll bring you the first episode of that podcast of Welcome to Paradise. That's next. I'm Anthony Germain and you're listening to The Current.

Episode one of Welcome to Paradise

AG: I'm Anthony Germain and you're listening to The Current. Today we are presenting the first episode of the CBC podcast, Welcome to Paradise. Renowned Canadian journalist and former host of The Current Anna maria Tremonti, also a friend of mine which makes this introduction difficult to read. She is breaking a 40 year long silence on her past experience with domestic violence. Here's Anna maria with episode one Welcome to Paradise and a warning. The following de als with descriptions of violence.

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FARZANA: How about the survivor in you? So the part of you that went through all this hardship. Suffered. Does that part say. I'm allowed to do this or I'm not allowed to do this?

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Yeah, a bit. I mean, it's funny, when I first pitched this podcast, I wanted to talk about this is a good news story. You know, I moved on. I've had a good life and I have. But the fact that 40 years later, I am still struggling with how to tell it, the fact of 40 years later, it's there's still a part of me that's bothered by it. It that's the other thing like really do you really want to tell the 25 year old that 40 years from now she'll still be bothered by it? I don't know. You know. And I internalised a lot of it for a long time.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: I've done years of therapy. And most days I feel like I've moved on. But lately I've been feeling the need to talk about what happened to me. So I have a new therapist, Farzana.

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FARZANA: Well, look, why don't we just jump in there? The sticky. Why am I doing this? Okay, so why don't we just talk to the part that is protesting that says, stop it, don't do this?

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Yeah, I guess it's the idea that part of me is very private, that I think there are things that places where I don't want to go. And I think if I'm really going to tell the story, I have to go there.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: It's not that I'm uncomfortable being public. I've spent decades reporting going to dangerous places, confronting people in power, and then for years hosting one of the biggest radio current affairs shows in Canada. The Current. But the story I want to tell now hasn't been public. Sure. Some people know a bit. Family, friends, a few colleagues. They were all surprised when they found out. They would never have guessed this thing about me. We can all hide things. And when I'm in broadcast mode, this voice of mine. Has hidden my greatest secret.

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ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: This cart is full of little notebooks, like things that I was working with in the field, so I would have scripts.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: I've been going through my old notes, tapes, scripts. I've got a bunch of cassette tapes here. I never realised what a packrat I can be. Frankly, I don't even know what's on them. I'm going to have to sit and listen to them all.

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ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: [On TV] Lines are already forming. And the flurry at this postal station shows many people are doing their best to make sure their little bit of Christmas arrives on time.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: I've always loved being a reporter, Andrews. When I first started, I covered small town news. Listen, the tide is out starting on the east coast of Canada, moving west to Alberta, with lead stories on the national news from Ottawa.

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ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: It is part of the scenery on Parliament Hill. Protesters march and wave. They came to Parliament Hill beating the traditional drums of their ancestors. The Cabinet has decided on a course of action to try to dissipate the criticism.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Reporting was my ticket to go anywhere. Ask anything. See everything.

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ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: [On TV} Anna Maria Tremonti. CBC News. Ottawa.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: And the more I covered, the greater my ambitions. Eventually, I got my first international posting in Berlin. It was 1991, and it was my job to cover the massive changes reshaping Eastern Europe. A lot of those countries shed the shackles of communism peacefully. But in Yugoslavia, it was a vicious break-up. It was civil war. And I pushed to get in there.

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ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: The civilians of East Mostar are trapped. On the one side, almost in a semicircle in the hills behind me are the Croat. On the other side of the Serbs.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: I was with the first wave of journalists covering the fighting in Bosnia Herzegovina.

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ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Are the children growing up here? A day of innocent play can turn to tragedy.

GUEST: He was playing out, and then I heard the scream and I went out and see he was wounded.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: On those trips, I'd stand in front of the camera in a dark blue flak jacket with my blood type written in white, just above my heart.

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ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Another sniper in Sarajevo, a man on a bike. Clearly an unarmed civilian is shot at, but pedals furiously and escapes unharmed. Pedestrians race in crouching positions through open spaces to shelter behind garbage bins and rail cars.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Behind me. You'd see buildings collapsed in on themselves. Walls cratered and pockmarked by shrapnel and mortar fire. The people in my stories are hollow eyed. They look overwhelmed. This situation was created by Mad Men, he said. But I seemed pretty fearless. My voice steady and clear.

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ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: There is no end in sight for East Mostar. The danger is constant. Anna maria Tremonti, CBC News, East Mostar.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: That's the version of myself I've presented throughout my career. Inquisitive. Unrelenting. Unafraid. The war in Bosnia was a pivotal moment for me as a journalist, trying to understand layers of conflict. But also just as a human being, watching people trying to survive. Seeing how lives that until recently weren't so different from mine were now disrupted. Ripped apart. I kept trying to process it, scribbling observations and those little reporter notebooks of mine. This one says March 1993: "The Road to hell winds through significant portions of paradise, through sprawling snow capped mountains, by cluttered farmyards over bottle green rivers. But there's always another checkpoint, another house ripped apart by shellfire. Maybe we all travel towards hell and are fooled, lulled by pockets of paradise along the way. Maybe the paradise is the devil's trick of keeping us on a steady path of certain destruction. Or maybe all war is a lethal mix of danger and paradise. How else could anyone be enticed to fight or to cover it?".

[Music]

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: I went in and out of Bosnia for three years. I lost track of how many trips. I got so used to the booms of heavy artillery that I wouldn't even flinch at the sounds. But then I'd go home to Berlin and there's a sound the buses there would make. The brakes had this high pitched whine. It sounded like incoming artillery. And then I'd flinch. I'd remember all those people stuck in Sarajevo and think. I have to go back. For the longest time, I told myself that I kept returning because I felt an obligation to tell the story of ordinary people caught in violence that they couldn't control, couldn't be blamed for. But there was something else. The fact is, I didn't carry the trauma of violence home with me from Bosnia. I carried my own trauma into Bosnia. I don't know if I've talked to you about that. The night I looked in the mirror.

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FARZANA: No.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: That was my moment of truth. My moment of understanding how nothing I was.

FARZANA: How nothing you were, like, in his, in his eyes.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: No. In my own.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: When I was 23 years old. I married a man who beat me. That marriage lasted a year. But what happened in that short time changed my life. And for a very long time it controlled the way I felt about myself, the way I saw myself. I looked at my face. I looked into my own eyes, and I didn't recognise myself.

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FARZANA: Who? Who did you see?

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: I don't know who she was. And it wasn't that I like was bruised or anything like that. He hadn't touched my face. It was whatever was in my eyes. And it was a it was just an affirmation that there was nothing there.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Any time I've thought about telling my story, I've always returned to this particular moment standing in front of the mirror.

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ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: I wrote it down. I could read it to you, but I don't have it right in front of me.

FARZANA: Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Give me two seconds. I'll get it.

FARZANA: That's all right. Take your time.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: I've written and rewritten versions of this moment in my personal journals. See? It was a Sunday night. He'd beat me up that afternoon, on and off for hours. Okay. Okay. So this is the. Hold on. I'm all twisted here. This is, it starts with: So it is late, dark by this time. I go to the powder room on the main floor. I look in the mirror. And I cannot recognise the face looking back at me. I've been crying. My face is puffy, my hair is askew. But it isn't that which makes my blood run cold. I look into my own eyes and see absolutely nothing. No one, I am unrecognisable even to myself. It is as if he has taken whatever is inside of me and ripped it away. I have never felt such emptiness, such untethered on being. I look down and look up again and still see nothing. No one. It is a moment of non-existence. I resolve nothing in this moment. I make no pledge to change my life. I make no promise to myself to cherish myself. I do nothing but stare. And then some deep survival instinct makes me step away and prepare myself in case he descends that staircase and comes after me again. It doesn't occur to me to leave. But then again, I have nowhere to go.

FARZANA: So just pause for a second here. Your body can withstand a lot, but in that moment, something inside of you was breaking. Or had left dessociated or something.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Yeah.

FARZANA: That's, that's big.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Yeah.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: That year, I was punched, kicked, choked, threatened with murder.

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ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: The more I thought about it that first time, I remember thinking, one, it was an aberration. It was a one off. This is a bad thing to happen to you. This is a bad thing for someone you love to do to you. And I thought, Oh, well, you know, had I acted a little differently, he wouldn't have responded that way. So I kind of triggered him to do this. And so when it happened, the next time. And the next time. It was like this cumulative thing, right? Like suddenly it's not a one off anymore. And, you know, and I'm jumping ahead and I don't mean to. I'm just kind of processing.

FARZANA: Mm hmm.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Like, I know that, like, I knew this isn't right and. At some point I eventually realised. You're one of those people you hear about Anna maria.

FARZANA: What does it mean to be one of those people?

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Well, I think there's some denial. No, I'm not one of those people. It's not supposed to happen to you. It's supposed to happen to people who don't know better, whatever that means. And there's shame. But I remember I was standing in a grocery store in Halifax and I was standing behind this woman. But I looked at her and I thought, you know, they must have a nice life. They've got this grocery for their family, though. You know, they're going through a good life. They have no idea that I'm going through like this crap right now. But then I thought, well, they don't know about you and you don't know you don't know about her. You don't know what she's going through. Like, it was my moment of clarity that you're walking by other women just like you.

FARZANA: Yes.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: And you don't know each other.

FARZANA: And it's almost like I am one of these women to.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Yeah.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Even though I've never mentioned my own experience. What happened to me has always informed my work as a reporter.

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The morning of May 25, a truck came. They started collecting people. People who could not climb on the tracks were shot on the spot.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: This is from a documentary I made about returning to Bosnia 20 years after the fighting there began.

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They took me to a room. Inside there was a couch and it was stained with blood. I knew what was going to happen to me.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Part of what made that conflict so terrible was the systematic sexual torture of women. For decades, I've pushed to cover gender based violence. Girls subjected to female genital mutilation. Women forced into sexual slavery by ISIS. The staggering injustice around missing and murdered indigenous women and girls in Canada. I've thought about all these women a lot over the years. Their stories are so underreported that I think, who am I to focus on what happened to me? When what happened to them is barely acknowledged. I've told myself that this is the way I deal with my own history. I use my own pain and understanding to help others who want to tell their stories of abuse.

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ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Hello. I'm Anna maria Tremonti. And this is The Current. Around the world this weekend, people marked International Women's Day, a day to speak out against violence against women. In this country, 25% of all women who are murdered by a spouse have already left the relationship. Today, the story of one woman who is out of her abusive relationship but still lives in fear.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: But then a few years ago, I met a woman through the airwaves. Here is my conversation with the woman we are calling Naomi. We were in different studios. Different cities.

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NAOMI: Hi there.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: You have been away from your abusive partner for more than five years.

NAOMI: Yes.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: But you are still afraid?

NAOMI: Yes, of course. There's always a long term danger, you know, especially with those of us with children. I'm constantly in a state of concern and worry. And, you know, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't drop my children off at school and worry that they won't be there when I get home. [Sobbing] Sorry.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Well, don't apologise to me. I'm. I appreciate you talking about something which is obviously very difficult and very, very real. You mentioned that this is someone who keeps firearms.

NAOMI: Yes. The type of person that he was. I was already scared. I was already as scared as I could be. He didn't even need the gun. But it's not to say that it wasn't used. And I didn't have it in my face or in my mouth that many times. He would use whatever was close. If he had the gun, he'd use the gun. If he had a telephone, it'd be a telephone. If it be his hands, it'd be his hands. I can remember being in the relationship and being in public places and, you know, him abusing me in public and, you know, people just walk by.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: How did you manage to get out?

NAOMI: You know, it was sort of at the breaking point. You know, I you know, he would do things that were just unbearable. I was so dead inside anyway that I felt like at this point I didn't care if he killed me, but at least it would be over in it. I would to at least try to get out.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: At one point it got so intense and detailed that I was worried she would still be identifiable that her ex might hear. I asked our sound technician to stop recording. And then as we talk things through with the recording stopped. I found myself telling Naomi what had happened to me. It just came out. And we both started to cry. I'd finally reached the point where my silence was no longer something that gave me empathy to connect with women like Naomi. My silence was becoming a lie.

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FARZANA: And I think that the thing that keeps this so silent is that we're not talking about the truth of the matter. Right. We're not talking about the truth that no one is immune. Particularly, no woman is immune. Like this. This happened to you because you're a woman, right?

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Yes, it did.

FARZANA: Only reason. The only reason it happened to you.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Yeah.

FARZANA: Like, there wasn't anything you said that was wrong or that made it happen.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: No. No, he did it because he could.

FARZANA: He did it because he could.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: He did it because he could. Because I was his partner and he had that power over me. Yes.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: So in that moment when I looked in the mirror and couldn't recognise myself. I was my own metaphor. We all look away. I mean, look at the numbers of women between the ages of 15 and 49 who have been in a relationship. One third. One third. Worldwide. Have been physically or sexually assaulted by a partner. We know women are disproportionately affected by intimate partner violence. But of course, all genders can be victims. And so many of us are silent. We have our reasons.

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ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: I just know that I am frankly lucky that it was one year because. I do know enough to know that very few women get just one year. And then I start to think about like the. It almost feels ridiculous that I never talked about this till now. The idea that I didn't do anything.

FARZANA: Let's work on this. Because intellectually, you know, like lots of good reasons why people don't talk about these things. But it's still bugging you. Right?

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Yeah.

FARZANA: It feels akin to I don't know why I didn't leave earlier. Now, that's not what you're saying. But you're saying instead. Why didn't I talk about this sooner?

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Yeah, you're right. You're right.

FARZANA: Do you want to try to do a little play around this? Like because this is a technique and it's been quite well researched, although it is a bit fringy, let's be honest.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Fringe away.

FARZANA: But what you do is you you kind of just monkey see, monkey do you're going to follow me and we're going to tap on different parts of the body. So the first thing we're going to do is you're just going to rub clockwise on your chest here. So this is the heart chakra. So rub here and say to yourself, even though it took me decades to be able to talk about this, I fully love and respect myself.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Do I say this out loud or I just say...

FARZANA: Yes, I say it out loud. It has more power.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Okay. So even though it has taken me decades to talk about this. I respect myself and I love myself.

FARZANA: So tap right above the eyebrows here. I feel so guilty for taking so long to talk about this.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: I feel so guilty for taking so long.

FARZANA: I should have done this sooner.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: I should have done this sooner.

FARZANA: I could have had less self-loathing.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: I could have had less self-loathing.

FARZANA: And now we're going to do another round. But with the self-compassion statements. Okay? What's. What's the empowering statement you might want to say?

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Well, I'm telling it now, and this is the right time for me.

FARZANA: There might even be some wisdom in waiting.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: And there might even be some wisdom because I waited.

FARZANA: I might be able to tell a better story now.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: Maybe I can tell the story that I need to tell now.

FARZANA: It's actually the most courageous thing to do something like this.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: It's actually pretty courageous to do this.

FARZANA: I'm able now.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: I'm able.

FARZANA: I'm strong now.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: I'm strong now.

FARZANA: I'm breaking silence.

ANNA MARIA TREMONTI: I'm breaking silence.

FARZANA: And then take a big, deep breath.

AG: You've been listening to episode one of Welcome to Paradise, hosted by Anna maria Tremonti. Well, that's our programme for today. Stay tuned to Radio One for q. Alanis Obomsawin is one of the most accomplished documentary filmmakers in Canada and one of the most acclaimed indigenous filmmakers in the world. Last year, the Toronto International Film Festival honoured her with a career retrospective called Celebrating Alanis, and she sat down with Tom Power in the q studio to talk about her life in film and music. I'm Nancy Germaine. Thanks for listening to The Current.

The Current Transcript for July 26, 2022

STORIES FROM THIS EPISODE

Prologue

Reaction to the papal apology

Langley homeless community 'living in fear' after deadly shooting, says advocate

Episode one of Welcome to Paradise

Tuesday July 26, 2022 Full Transcript

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