The pandemic forced these Canadians to make big life changes, with a strength they didn't know they had
Pandemic forced me to 'step out of my comfort zone,' says Kourtney Belisle
Warning: This story contains reference to suicide.
When the financial pressure of the pandemic forced Kourtney Belisle's fitness studio to close permanently last year, she fell into a depression.
"I just felt so lost, so confused, kind of like I had been thrown in this dark tunnel and there was no light, no light at all," said Belisle, a single mother who owned and ran her fitness business in North Bay, Ont.
She told The Current's Matt Galloway that she started "looking for a new direction for my life and my career and just everything" — then decided that direction was almost 700 km south, in Windsor, Ont.
Belisle knew some people in the city, and had been musing about a move somewhere for a while.
"It was like a fresh start. And I said, you know what, like, let's just do it," she said.
Her leap of faith paid off.
Within weeks of arriving in Windsor last summer, she spotted an advert for a program offering training to work in the machining trades.
The training, run through the city's St. Clair College, was specifically tailored to women with no prior experience. It offered education as a millwright, working on machine maintenance, or in the computer systems used to manufacture parts.
"I started thinking, 'Wow, if I could get into this, I feel like I could really change my life and get moving again.'"
Belisle applied and was accepted to the training program — but the pandemic wasn't done with her yet.
Classes were due to start in August, but were pushed back to November. When they did start, they lasted six weeks before a fresh lockdown sent Belisle and her class home again.
That's really shown me that I have this inner courage and the resilience that I didn't even realise I had- Kourtney Belisle
Through all this, Belisle said her five-year-old daughter Andi was "her rock."
"The whole world could be falling apart. But she was still so sweet and innocent here. And that always was like an anchor for me," she said.
When a local newspaper covered the story of Belisle's move to Windsor — and how lockdowns left her whole class in limbo — local businesses took note. Several companies offered to take students on for practical experience, and St. Clair changed their policy to allow students to take their placements early.
Belisle is now six weeks into her placement with local company Centerline.
Before the pandemic, she never would have guessed she would make such a drastic career change "and just step out of my comfort zone," she said.
"That's really shown me that I have this inner courage and the resilience that I didn't even realize I had."
'I would have kept making up excuses'
Belisle wasn't the only Canadian to face a crossroads in the past year.
When the pandemic struck last spring, the lockdown and financial pressure exacerbated tensions between Emily and her husband, in what she says was already an abusive marriage.
"It was like walking on eggshells 24/7. We were always angry at each other and it was really hard," said Emily, who was living with her husband and two small children in London, Ont. CBC is not revealing her full name for legal reasons.
By the summer, Emily ended up in hospital after a suicide attempt. She said that's where she made "the big choice."
She told herself that "when I get out of here ... I am going to pack my bags and go. No matter how hard it is, even if we've got nothing, we're still out of that situation."
Emily and her children moved in with her grandparents, and said the shift has been like "an emotional rehab."
She said she's tried to leave the marriage before, but "the manipulation and the guilt tripping" made her stay.
"If the pandemic hadn't happened, I think I would have kept making up excuses as to why I wasn't leaving," she said.
Her grandparents love having their great-grandkids around, and living together offers some financial security while she gets back on her feet.
"It's almost as if I needed all of that chaos to happen in that short amount of time to realize this is never going to get better and this is your test. You can either move on or you can stay here and keep living like this."
'She would have died of loneliness'
When Desiree Saverimuttu's Ottawa care home went into lockdown last spring, her daughter Marie Chinnatamby was one of the first to organize a window visit.
It didn't go well.
"She saw me through the window, but she didn't want to acknowledge [me], because she's like, 'Why is she not coming in?'" Chinnatamby said.
Saverimuttu has dementia and didn't understand what had changed.
"After that, she didn't want to look at me," her daughter said.
Chinnatamby went home, and wrestled all weekend with what to do. On Sunday, she emailed the care home, St. Patrick's Home of Ottawa, to say she wanted to take her mother out, to live with her at home.
The home agreed, but warned it would need to happen soon. If there was an outbreak, all residents would be required to stay put.
Chinnatamby said she'd be there in 10 minutes.
"I think if I didn't bring her home, she would have died of loneliness," he said.
Saverimuttu has now been living with Chinnatamby, and her 19-year-old son Jeremy, for almost a year.
They have some help from personal support workers, but it's still been an adjustment.
"It's a big change because we can't really leave her in the house alone and go away — so one of us is always here," she said.
"We are coping, but still, it's a big responsibility."
But Chinnatamby has no regrets.
"More than COVID, it was the loneliness that could have killed my mother," she said.
"It was the right thing to do."
Written by Padraig Moran. Produced by Alison Masemann.
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Where to get help:
Canada Suicide Prevention Service: 1-833-456-4566 (Phone) | 45645 (Text, 4 p.m. to midnight ET only) | crisisservicescanada.ca
In Quebec (French): Association québécoise de prévention du suicide: 1-866-APPELLE (1-866-277-3553)
Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention: Find a crisis centre
