Don't call her a role model, Bee Quammie is a possibility model
Bee Quammie is a writer, broadcaster and a regular member of The Next Chapter's children's book panel. Her work has been featured in publications including EBONY, The Globe and Mail, Maclean's and Chatelaine.
She's also the mom of two young girls and those daughters were the inspiration for her new book, The Book of Possibilities. It's about life lessons she would like to pass on to other women, especially her two girls.
In The Book of Possibilities, Quammie challenges the idea of being a "role model" and instead offers herself as a "possibility model" — one example among many of how to live one's life. Through this approach, she aims to show her daughters and other women the vast array of opportunities and paths available, encouraging them to embrace life even when it leads to unexpected or unconventional destinations.
Quammie joined Antonio Michael Downing on The Next Chapter to speak about her new book and recommend a couple of other titles that gave her inspiration.
Antonio Michael Downing: So I know the seed of this book was planted a long time ago when you were being interviewed. What was that question?
Bee Quammie: Yes, I was asked, "How does it feel to be a role model?" And instantly I got like shivers at my back because role model to me feels like it has so much responsibility. So much expectation and I'm just somebody who's just trying to figure it out day-to-day. I don't know what the road is or what my role is that anybody else should emulate. So the thought came to mind that I don't really feel comfortable being called a role model, but I could be a possibility model.
I don't really feel comfortable being called a role model, but I could be a possibility model.- Bee Quammie
I'm a possibility model of what it looks like to be a divorced woman raising two young girls. I'm a possibility model of what it looks like to be the child of immigrants who has diverted from her stable healthcare career, much to the chagrin of my parents. I'm a possibility model of what it looks like to do that and succeed.
So the arrival of your two daughters made you feel like you could write this book. So what influence did they have in this book becoming?
I will say, it came a little bit later. Even with having them, they're ten and seven now. The actual real crux of where this book started was when my marriage ended. I didn't know what was coming next. I couldn't see anything good. I didn't know what I was going to be able to offer my daughters.
Looking at my daughters, they don't see any obstacles. All they see is possibility, and I don't want them to lose that.- Bee Quammie
And looking at my daughters, they don't see any obstacles. All they see is possibility, and I don't want them to lose that. But that's the thing with this book, I'm hoping at least even in those moments where they feel challenged, they feel disappointed, they might be able to pull this book and find something and say, "OK, my mom said this, so maybe that might help."
I know you brought some other books that are inspiring to talk about today. So what's the first title you want to talk about?
Falling Back in Love with Being Human by Kai Cheng Thom
A collection of vulnerable and poetic love letters, Falling Back in Love with Being Human is a lyrical journey of self-acceptance. Kai Cheng Thom writes poems to those she describes as "lost souls" both within and far from her own lived experiences. Thom meditates on her own identities as a Chinese Canadian transgender woman in this collection about healing and love.
Thom is a Chinese Canadian writer, artist and activist. Her poetry collection a place called No Homeland was named an American Library Association Stonewall Honor Book. Her other books include Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars and I Hope We Choose Love.
Bee Quammie says: Falling Back in Love with Being Human is so stunning. It's filled with these sharp but tender essays written as letters. And so the letters are written to different people groups. For example, there's a letter written to a trans femme of colour child from a trans femme of colour ancestor. There's a letter written to the exiled, there's a letter written to the sidekicks, and each letter kind of speaks to Kai's relationship with the the intended letter recipient.
The way the words fall on the page, the way they fall in your ear or in your mouth as you're reading it. There's such a beautiful rhythm to it.- Bee Quammie
What was really cool too at this book is like the essays and the letters, some of them are poetry, some of them are just a phrase. I think there's one that's that says "I forgive you" and it's just "I forgive you" written all over the page in different ways.
So even as you read it, the way the words fall on the page, the way they fall in your ear or in your mouth as you're reading it. There's such a beautiful rhythm to it.
A Letter to My Daughter by Maya Angelou
This collection of essays by the celebrated American author is dedicated to the daughter Maya Angelou never had. Telling stories of her childhood, friends like Coretta Scott King and Ossie Davis and some of her favourite dishes, Angelou looks to impart wisdom onto the millions of readers she considers her extended family.
Maya Angelou was a celebrated American poet, author, and civil rights activist. Her work includes the books memoir I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings and the poetry collection And Still I Rise. She died on May 28, 2014, at the age of 86.
Bee Quammie says: It's called Letter to My Daughter, but it's really she sees herself as a mother and a daughter, so she dedicates her book to women who have mothered her through dark and bright days. She dedicates it to women not born to me, but who allow me to mother them. Names like Oprah Winfrey, Gayle King, Valerie Simpson, so many.
You get a mix of kind of things from her life. But you also get poetry, you get some creative, you get a little bit of fiction, you get a mixed bag of things, all to drive various lessons home. And to me again, this book is kind of structured as a series of short essays or poetry pieces.
But what I really took from this book was not really anything in terms of structure or putting the book together. But it was the intention of interrogating this mother-daughter relationship, which is something as we've talked about with my book was a key part for me and this idea of wanting to leave something behind. What do I leave for my daughters?
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
