Clayton Thomas-Müller's Canada Reads memoir Life in the City of Dirty Water is a story of hope in action
Clayton Thomas-Müller's memoir, Life in the City of Dirty Water, tracks a deeply personal journey through pain to healing. Thomas-Müller's life began in an ancestral home in northern Manitoba as the child of two residential school survivors.
Life in the City of Dirty Water reflects on the love, strength and courage in his childhood, but also the racism, poverty and violence he endured as a teen growing up on the streets of inner city Winnipeg and small-town B.C. Thomas-Müller has refused to be defined by his trauma. His faith in his Indigenous heritage and his spirituality led him to a life of healing and an active commitment to defending the people, the land and the water all over the world.
Life in the City of Dirty Water will be championed by forest ecologist and bestselling author Suzanne Simard on Canada Reads from March 28-31.
The debates will be hosted by Ali Hassan and will be broadcast on CBC Radio One, CBC TV, CBC Gem and on CBC Books.
Thomas-Müller spoke with Shelagh Rogers about writing Life in the City of Dirty Water.
Dream come true
"When I began this journey, the story of the life that I've lived thus far, one of the things that I prayed for was that this memoir could be a part of Canada Reads so that platform could help it touch as many people who needed to hear this story as possible.
When I found out, of course, I was completely shocked and very pleased.
"When I found out, of course, I was completely shocked and very pleased. And while there were a lot of emotions, if I'm being honest, I think the root of it is that my prayers have been answered and the book is traveling now, so I feel good about that."
Sensitive subjects
"I had asked my mom for permission to write my story because consent is a very important thing. I think that we need to move forward because there were a lot of things I left out. I didn't want to hurt people or re-traumatize other people who are going through this shared collective experience of Indigenous peoples growing up in the settler colonial state of Canada. And that's not to say I got permission from everybody in the book. Some people didn't want that in there, but it was my story.
What's it actually going to take — for all of us in these lands they call Canada — to heal from the violence of colonialism?
"I gave them the option of changing their names, and some I didn't. But for the most part, the people that I'm sharing the journey with still — especially my mom — I wanted to have her permission to be able to tell these stories and to be able to get into a deep conversation with the readers about the question that Life in the City of Dirty Water poses. And that is: 'What's it actually going to take — for all of us in these lands they call Canada — to heal from the violence of colonialism?'"
On the trapline
"There's a teaching that's not just Cree — I see it woven through many Indigenous cultures across Turtle Island, what we call North America. Our ancestors love beauty. When you do ceremonies or you do something in life, you try to make it as beautiful as possible. When I think back to the trapline, I'll never forget just thousands and thousands of flowers in the meadow.
I hold those memories of the trapline and my great grandparents very dear and close to my heart."
"And I remember how beautiful the fish were when my uncles would pull them out of the net, and all the different colours and smells of the forest. I hold those memories of the trapline and my great grandparents very dear and close to my heart."
Breaking generational curses
"In the back of Life in the City of Dirty Water, you'll see a picture of a Cree man holding hands with a little boy. And there are two little feathers in that little boy's head. That little boy is my inner child and those two little feathers on his head are my sons, Felix and Jackson. And it's all about ending cycles of abuse and healing ancestral trauma. Healing is a lifelong journey. It doesn't stop. There's no magical silver bullet. It's something that you've got to work on."
I also just try to practice mindfulness every day — to live in the moment and not be agitating about the future, feeling regret about the past and just really living in the beautiful moment that I'm in."
"Healing — to have that spiritual strength, that emotional strength — it's a constant thing. So I go to ceremonies, I talk about things with friends and reflect and I believe in therapy. I also just try to practice mindfulness every day — to live in the moment and not be agitating about the future or feeling regret about the past.
"I'm just really living in the beautiful moment that I'm in."
Clayton Thomas-Müller's comments have been edited for length and clarity.
The Canada Reads 2022 contenders
- Christian Allaire champions Five Little Indians by Michelle Good
- Malia Baker champions Scarborough by Catherine Hernandez
- Tareq Hadhad champions What Strange Paradise by Omar El Akkad
- Suzanne Simard champions Life In the City of Dirty Water by Clayton Thomas-Müller
- Mark Tewksbury champions Washington Black by Esi Edugyan
