Medallists in Toronto could be destined for success in Rio
Perdita Felicien reflects on impact Pan Am silver had on hurdling career
The 100m hurdles at the Pan Am Games has always been a world-class affair.
Sure a few favourites don't show up but that doesn't change the complexion of the race very much, especially not in the minds of those of us that line up.
When I competed at the 2003 Pan Ams in Santo Domingo, I was a neophyte in the elite ranks of my sport and had no competitive instincts.
In the final, I had lane one — a terrible draw — I had hoped to be in the middle of the track and closer to the Jamaican gold medal favourite Brigitte Foster. If I was closer to her, she could help me run a faster time and possibly snag a medal.
However, I was lucky to be there at all, after a dreadful semifinal race, which barely got me into the final. I couldn't shake my disappointment and a tight knot sat deep in my stomach.
In the end, Brigitte crossed the line first, adding the Pan Am Games title to her resume and setting a new Games record.
I had run hard but uninspired. I kept my head down and thought about how bad Brigitte had beat me after I crossed the line. When I looked at the scoreboard my eyes went wide; my name was in the silver medal position.
But I was more surprised by my time: 12.70 to Brigitte's 12.67. I was so close to her though I never imagined I could be.
When I got home to Pickering, my mom taped my race and all I would hear for two weeks until the world championships in Paris was that if I had run with intention and dipped at the line in Santo Domingo, I would have beaten the Jamaican.
She believed I could be the best in the world. I let myself believe she was right.
Will to win
My fingers feel like Jell-O as I place them as close to the white start line as possible. It's the 2003 world track and field championships, and I've already won my first heat and semifinal rounds of the 100m hurdles. I now find myself in this final on a warm Parisian night. The starter's voice makes my chest drum so fast it is hard to find space between beats to take a breath.
In lane five, directly to my left, is Brigitte — the fastest hurdler in the world and Pan Am Champion. She casts a shadow across our lanes with her prowess.
When I faced her three weeks ago at the Pan Am Games in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, in my first multisport final, I was happy to be there. It also ignited my will to win.
I press my feet into the sturdiness of the blocks. As the crowd of 80,000 hushes itself silent. My legs tremble, the way a body does when it's cold outside and there's nothing to keep it warm. So I dig my spikes harder into the pedals and say to myself, "It's OK," as if I were soothing a small child.
Bang.
All eight of us swing our arms forward propelling our bodies towards a minefield that is 100 metres long. Ten bombs wait for us. Some may detonate, but where?
At hurdle four, the colour of Brigitte's bright yellow uniform bleeds into my peripheral vision. We are step for step but I'm not supposed to be this close to her. The pace is furious.
It's like holding onto a pissed off bull by a thick braided rope with bare hands, knowing you can't let go. I scream at myself, "Don't back down." I hear coach Gary's voice in my head, "this is what we came here for."
At hurdles seven, eight and nine, it's a two-woman race. I'm leading Brigitte, my advantage less than the thickness of a dime.
I hear her charge and close in. I grit my teeth and move my arms faster. Coming off the tenth and final barricade we sprint hard the last ten metres. I throw myself at the finish line and fate.
Everything comes to life.
I hear clapping, shouting, my name. I see flags waving, flashes of lights in my face. I hear music, the air is thick and sweet. I feel my stomach — no knot — just butterflies, I smile wide.
I'm the world champion.
Pan Am success key
I know that my journey to becoming a gold medallist in Paris went through Santo Domingo. Pan Am success leads to more success, it gives every athlete the ability to sharpen that instinct inside them that they need to compete at their best. My race at the 2003 Pan Ams gave me the experience I needed to believe I belonged and allowed me to race with courage. Medals won or lost here will lead to an athlete's hunger for more.
The work that goes into preparing for these games doesn't change because there are no Olympic rings on signs. If you want to know who to watch in Rio, pay attention here. In order for an athlete to mount the podium in 2016, they must first do it in Toronto.