Hi, I'm the cashier who asks if you need a bag when you buy one chocolate bar

Hi there. My name's Kelly.

Guess you could have just looked at my nametag, heh.

Need a bag?

Sorry, I was just wondering… would you like a bag for that? No? You're good? It's just one single Werther's Original, you say? Okay. No problem. There are bags if you need. No? Okay, you have yourself a good day. I will, too. Here with my bags.

I'm a cashier at your neighbourhood grocery store. Even if you don't know me, you might know someone like me. You see, I'm the cashier who asks if you want a bag no matter what you've just bought, whether it's 7,000 frozen pasta dinners, or a single plum.

(Sidebar: Even if you have the 7,000 pasta dinners, my cohorts and I will still use the phrase, "Do you need a bag?" As in one single bag. Only when we begin to bag them and complete the bagging of the first bag will we move on to the idea of a next bag. We will not ask you if you need a second bag, though. We will just move on. We assume the need of subsequent bags based on the need of the first.)

Anyway, my point is, I'm sorry about always asking about the bags, even if you're getting half a Twix that you have further sub-divided in half.

Don't get me wrong: there's a pretty good reason I do this. It's because I meet approximately 10,000 people a day. Even the president meets fewer people than this, the current president probably even less so.

So I can't make an individual decision about every person who comes to my till. I need to shut down certain decision-making faculties. That's why if I were to ask if you needed a bag, and you answered, "I will never need a bag, as long as I live, and if I am ever asked again, may God strike me and everyone else dead," and then you came by my till again two minutes later with new items, I would still say, "Hi, do you need a bag?"

I would not recognize you, nor your request to have a lifetime free of bags.

If you were to bring a 2017 Toyota Camry to my till, I would give a polite nod and ask if you'd like a bag for that. Because I can't consider the size or the nature of the product. It introduces too many variables. What about a bagged salad? It's already in a bag! What about a rotisserie chicken? It already has a cardboard handle on it—but you can bet your bottom Optimum point that I wouldn't want to lug that thing around.

But maybe I can change. Maybe a bit. Maybe if you are carrying the item you're about to buy in the palm of your hand already, I can assume you are open to continuing to do that. Maybe next time someone says, "Hi, I was wondering if you have any job applications?" I won't say, "Would you like a bag for that?"

Yes, I'm open to change. I'm open to growth. I'm open to—oh hey I see you have a speck of fluff on your shirt, would you like a bag for that today?

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