Being Mom and B.C. politician is fine balancing act

Every time B.C. Premier Christy Clark sits at her desk in Victoria, a beloved face stares back: a framed photo of her son Hamish decked out in hockey goalie gear.

A constant reminder to Clark of the challenge of being both the premier and a mother.

"It's just time. I remember people used to say, it's not quantity. It's quality. And I have learned that's just not true. Quantity really matters for kids," a reflective Clark said, while speaking to reporters in Victoria.

"They need to have you in their lives. They need to see you. Even if it's just sitting around and watching a basketball game on TV, that matters. That's the hard thing — just not having enough time all the time."

'Taking the easy way out — anyone can do that'

Clark holds back tears as she speaks — a rare sight for a woman who talks tough to everyone from truckers and teachers to outraged members of the NDP.

But the role of mom is much different for Clark to the job of premier.

Her travels around the world and across the province have been well chronicled. It is also well known that she left politics for a five-year hiatus in 2005 to spend more time with her son.

She's not asking for pity; Clark signed up for this life. She is only one of many mothers who face the constant struggle of balancing work life and personal life.

But very few have the same pressures that come with running a province.

"One of the reasons I took the job is because I wanted to set the example for my son," she said, tears still lingering in her eyes.

"I wanted for girls around the province to say, if you want to make a difference you should try, even it's hard. Even if it means personal sacrifices. Taking the easy way out — anyone can do that."

Pressure to stay home

Historically politics has not been designed for mothers.

Societal norms historically dictated women should be at home raising the kids, while dads could go off into the world. And women who do enter politics often face the criticism about their role as parents that their male counterparts never do.

The times may be changing, but considering the fact less than half of B.C.'s MLAs are women, the profession of politics has clearly not completely caught up.

The pressure to remain at home is still something Jodie Wickens feels.

Life as a MLA and life as a mother is relatively new to the NDP politician.  The 33-year-old won a byelection in Coquitlam-Burke Mountain at the beginning of February.

Since then she has spent more time in Victoria than at home with her 10-year-old son Troy and his sister, six-year-old Adrianna.

In an interview, Wickens said her husband is now the one putting in the most time with the kids, while she gets bowled over with hugs on her returns home from work.

"It's new for me," said Wickens.

"As women we are unfairly penalized when we have that role reversal. For many years, I was that one at home all the time. Now, that has reversed. But I get a lot more questions than my husband did."

The most insistent of those questions comes from the women themselves: the worry that creeps into a mom's head that she's failing her family.

But Wickens believes her decision will ultimately prove to be a good one.

"I never aspired to be in politics," she said, pausing to gather herself.

"I did it because of my kids. Everything in life is about choices. Sometimes you need to make sacrifices to find the long term, positive outcome you are looking for."

Leaving the kids at home

Clark isn't the only woman at the provincial cabinet table who heads home on the weekend to help take care of a son.

Minister of Social Development and Social Innovation Michelle Stilwell's son Kai is 14.

His mom has always had to leave the house for work — but when Stilwell competed around the world as a paralympic-level wheelchair racer, Kai went with her.

Now, when Stillwell heads to Victoria from her Parksville home every Sunday night, her son can't come with her.

"He often asks to come with me and I say I don't think you will enjoy your day at the legislature," said Stilwell.

Of the 32 women MLAs, just four have children under the age of 18. Others have older kids, including Mary Polak, who raised her daughter while serving as a cabinet minister in both Gordon Campbell and Christy Clark's first cabinet.

They all agree on one thing. In order to provide stability at home, there needs to be a big support system.

So today, on Mother's Day, think of your own mom. And all the other women in your life who have helped play the traditional role of mother. 

But it is also important to think of the moms in all walks of life who are splitting their lives between taking care of their own kids and serving the public.