Dementia and the holidays: Alzheimer Society says managing expectations key to success

When a loved one has been diagnosed with dementia, the hustle and bustle of the holiday season can make for a difficult time. 

"Through our grief we want to keep as many things the same as possible. The problem is, at Christmas time there's so many extra things that come up," the Alzheimer Society of B.C.'s Tara Hildebrand told Daybreak Kamloops guest host Doug Herbert.

"There's all of the extra decorations and the presents and lots of commotion and that's a lot of really wonderful things to celebrate," she said.

"[But] for that person with dementia, it can be completely overwhelming."

That's why the Alzheimer Society of B.C. in Kamloops is hosting a workshop to teach people how to include loved ones living with dementia in the holidays.

Hildebrand said more than 70,000 people in B.C. live with some form of dementia. She suggested the key to making this time of year a success for everyone is managing expectations.

She said families need to understand their loved one can't necessarily participate in the same way they have in the past, but it doesn't mean they aren't able to have some role.

"Instead of expecting them to maintain a whole day of keeping up with all of these activities, maybe plan fewer activities and have some rest periods in between," she said.

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Kamloops resident Paul Blanchet knows about having to adjust his expectations. His wife Linda was diagnosed with early on-set dementia in 2012.

"As far as the disease goes and people go and Christmas goes, Alzheimer's is all about losing your cognitive ability," he said. "But what I've seen is the core of the person remains and the emotions and feelings are all there."

Creating moments and memories

Blanchet makes sure his wife is included in holiday events. She's not doing the shopping, but she's been helping with the decorations and they've been watching some Christmas shows on TV.

"It's really about making sure the person is included in things that they had done before. Family remains very important and having laughs and enjoying each other," he said.

Hildebrand said it's also important to include the other people who are impacted by the disease.

"It's still about creating moments for the family — yes, that person might forget it, but we don't," she said.

Blanchet echoes that sentiment.

"We know today is here and we know we can have fun today."

The Celebrating the Holidays workshop runs on Dec. 1 from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. PT at the Kamloops Resource Centre.

It is free to attend, but pre-registration is required.

With files from CBC Radio One's Daybreak Kamloops