Feeling blue this holiday season? Know that somebody's there to listen 24/7
‘There is the subtle and sometimes not so subtle pressure to be happy and joyful,’ says psychiatrist
Health professionals and providers in B.C. say the holidays can be a difficult time of the year for people coping with grief, loss, anxiety or loneliness, but there are people across the province ready to talk about it.
Sarah Garner is a volunteer call-taker at the Crisis Intervention and Suicide Prevention Centre of B.C. in Vancouver. It operates 24 hours a day, seven days a week and connects callers with volunteers who are trained to be empathetic and non-judgmental listeners.
"It's such a broad service for people who are struggling with the day-to-day, normal-life stuff all the way to the darkest time of their life," she said. "It's just really another person for them to chat to and have someone in their corner."
The centre is one of several across the province. Callers can be routed to the centre in their area by dialling 310-6789 toll-free, from anywhere in B.C..
The Crisis Line Association of B.C. says 150,000 calls are made every year to crisis lines in the province for issues such as homelessness, mental health and substance use, poverty, abuse and suicide.
Although the lines carry a crisis title, those working to take calls want people to know that there doesn't have to be a crisis to reach out, especially at this time of year, when feelings like loneliness can be more acute.
"Things might just be hitting them a little bit harder," said Thomas Maloney, a call-taker at Vancouver's crisis centre.
Maloney worked a shift last Christmas Eve and took calls from people struggling to feel happy at a time of year that is supposed to be joyous.
Dr. Anson Koo, the chief psychiatrist for the Fraser Health Authority, which operates the busiest crisis line in the province, says it's a common phenomenon around Christmas and the New Year.
"[People] see and feel the social pressure to be happy because they see in the media, they see on television, on the ads, the billboards at the mall, people are joyful and there is the subtle and sometimes not so subtle pressure to be happy and joyful," he said.
Koo said the Fraser Health crisis line, which has around 140 staff, gets an increase in calls at this time of year. He wants people to know about the line and that call-takers are there for them.
"It's often a good starting point for getting help," he said.
Things will get better
As a psychiatrist, Koo has some tips for people coping with grief or sadness over the holidays, especially related to the loss of a loved one.
He says it's important to recognize that the holidays may be tough and that's OK. He advises people to seek out family or friends who they are comfortable talking about how they feel with.
Koo also says to talk about alternative plans or traditions. For example, if you always host Christmas dinner, but are grieving, it's time to take a year off.
Overall, he wants people who are suffering to try to be hopeful. He says most people do not need professional help to get through grief and loss, but just supportive family, friends, or a talk with a volunteer at a crisis line.
"In their darkest moments it might feel like they're going to feel miserable for the rest of their lives but that's actually not the case," he said.
"The vast majority are going to find a new place in their lives and be able to move on."
Other places to get help
Canada Suicide Prevention Service
Toll free: 1-833-456-4566
Text: 45645
Chat: crisisservicescanada.ca
Association québécoise de prévention du suicide (AQPS) (French): 1-866-APPELLE
Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 (Phone), Live Chat counselling at www.kidshelpphone.ca
If you're worried someone you know may be at risk of suicide, you should talk to them, says the Canadian Association of Suicide Prevention. Here are some warning signs:
- Suicidal thoughts.
- Substance abuse.
- Purposelessness.
- Anxiety.
- Feeling trapped.
- Hopelessness and helplessness.
- Withdrawal.
- Anger.
- Recklessness.
- Mood changes.