As a child, American Grammy-nominee Neko Case thought she was Canadian. She still feels close to the country
Neko Case’s memoir, The Harder I Fight The More I Love You, is on bookstore shelves now
Growing up in Washington state, Neko Case thought she was Canadian.
Living close to the U.S.-Canada border, she received CBC broadcasts and watched Canadian classics like The Friendly Giant and Mr. Dressup, which, for a time, truly made her believe she was living in Canada.
"I was in grade school and the teacher asked, 'What country do we live in?' because we were looking at maps," she said during an interview on CBC's North by Northwest. "I said 'Canada,' and they were like 'no.'"
"Culturally, I feel very close with Canada."
Her childhood and path to becoming a Grammy-nominated musician are detailed in her new memoir, The Harder I Fight The More I Love You, available now.
When Grand Central Publishing approached her, Case thought she would be writing fiction. But the publisher had something else in mind — a memoir, delving into everything that made the singer-songwriter the person she is today.
"It was the pandemic. I had no money, and along came this book deal, which was the greatest timing ever," Case said. "They didn't strong arm me into it or anything. I was fully amenable to the decision."
Case, now 54, says she spent much of her childhood alone, which sometimes made her angry.
Rage is a common theme in the book and, as it happens, on the cover.
The front of the book features a young girl holding a cat, with a black monster of sorts situated behind her.
"That shadowy figure is the rage, and my friend, and it saved my life a lot of times," Case said.
For her, music is something of a synthesis of rage — a controlled rage.
"It's like making lace out of rage, sort of," she said.
A self-described "aggressive kid," Case began playing the drums in her teens, before she eventually became a singer, known for her soothing vocals on moody tracks.
That transition meant overcoming her shy nature, someone who kept the drums between her and the audience, and gradually taking centre stage.
Case describes her passion for music as a "consuming desire."
"I think it's just who I am. I don't know where it comes from. I think it's just what I was meant to do. It's always been bigger than me, but it is me at the same time."
She moved to Vancouver in 1994, becoming an honourary Canadian of sorts, to attend the Emily Carr Institute of Art and Design.
During her time in B.C., she played in a few local bands and joined indie band The New Pornographers, with which she remains part of today.
Case left art school in 1998, but says that while she was living in Vancouver, she gained an understanding of the difference between her two countries.
"It seems like we're so close culturally, the United States and Canada," she said. "I really learned a lot about being kind of an outwardly aggressive American. I learned about the ways that Americans are annoying.
"The subtleties and the kindness and not teasing every stranger you meet right away is sometimes a much nicer way to do things. So I really appreciated my time and I really, really, really love Canadian people … I'll always feel part of Canada in a way. Canada makes me feel very loved."
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With files from North by Northwest