Talking to men about rape requires different approach says author

A Victoria author, performer and mental health advocate, says it's important for men to get the message about rape culture on campus and beyond.

And for that reason, he's talking to men in a language he says they understand: a language laced with profanity, explicit language and humour.

Ryan Levis has written an upcoming book called Make Sure Your D*** Doesn't Fall Off Before You Die Drunk and Alone. In that shockingly titled book, he uses "dude" language to talk to men about problematic male behaviour, domestic violence, mental health, rape culture and their own insecurities. He also takes on those issues in various performance formats, including stand-up comedy.

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"The conversations that we see online about consent, to me, feel adversarial," he said. "These women's groups and these trans groups are trying address the issues in toxic masculinity that affect them, and I think that's a noble pursuit. But the emotional response from the masculine is insecure in many ways."

Levis says the crucial message of ending rape culture is not making its way to most men, and in his book, he wants to raise those issues in a more accessible way.

Men 'tune out'

Levis says that the language usually employed by advocates trying to combat rape culture causes many men to "tune out."

He said he saw this firsthand while attending a recent seminar held in the wake of a shocking sexual assault on the University of Victoria campus.

Of the thousand people in attendance, he estimates that only 10 per cent were men.

"One of the most shocking statistics given … was that one out of three men, given a certain set of circumstances, would commit a sex crime," he said. "That means if I stand with two friends, one of us has probably transgressed in this arena at some point. The information sounds accusatory, but really, it's just sound statistics."

Levis says these statistics, while sound, cause men to feel defensive and insecure and make them less receptive.

'Soft-selling' the message?

When asked by On The Island host Gregor Craigie if his humorous approach is able to get the message across with the impact it deserves, Levis conceded that he might be guilty of "soft-selling" the message of consent.

"Part of listening to these uncomfortable conversations, especially with feminist critics who've been very, very kind to even criticize me, is that perhaps I am soft-selling it," Levis said. "That's part of the beauty of this type of criticism, in that you get to learn and adjust and modify."

"I approach consent as building a relationship of a sexual nature. And before you even get to that point, you have to discuss whether this relationship is even of a sexual nature."

Levis says that going forward, he wants to make his approach more inclusive to a female audience while still addressing men's role in rape culture.

To hear the full interview listen to the audio labelled New book uses 'dude' lingo to educate men about rape culture on CBC's On The Island.