Husband hopes to hand-deliver flowers for 52nd anniversary as care home visit restrictions eased

On this day in 1968, Larry and Shelbey Benoit were married. 

And now, with the Alberta government announcing care homes can start allowing outdoor visits, it looks like Larry and Shelbey will be able to celebrate their 52nd anniversary in-person this week. 

"Hopefully, I can bring the flowers to her in-person instead of leaving them at the front door," said Larry.

In the last six months, Shelbey moved into a supportive living facility, Tudor Manor, with what her husband describes as "the start of dementia." 

Larry visited Shelbey every single day until Alberta banned in-person visits last month.

For 52 years, the couple has shared all of life's little details, and neither the coronavirus nor a care facility was going to interrupt that intimacy. 

After visits were banned, the couple moved to phone calls — four or more per day, says Larry. 

Then, with the help of tech-savvy staff at Tudor Manor, the couple were able to video chat on an iPad.

"She just sparkled," said Larry of the first video call he had with Shelbey. 

Reunion 'will be a beautiful thing'

The easing of visitation restrictions will allow residents in these facilities who are not in isolation to have outdoor visits with a designated essential visitor and one other person.

Visits at Tudor Manor are expected to begin Wednesday. 

The facility's manager of therapeutic recreation says they're working to ensure safety measures are in place first.

"To be able to see their reunion will be a beautiful thing, for sure, and I know it will make a difference in the mental health of the residents, for sure, and for the families," said Sherry Little.

Shelbey misses family: 'with all my heart'

University of Calgary psychology professor Candace Konnert calls the government's relaxation on visits a "very compassionate response to a very difficult situation."

"It really is pivotal to their psychological well-being and their emotional support to have that regular connection," said Konnert.

Shelbey says she misses her husband and family, "with all my heart."

"To see their faces and that, that's what keeps me going."

'We're both kind of touchy people'

Larry says he's looking forward to spending time with Shelbey outside.

"That would be very nice, outside doesn't bother me at all," said Larry. "It would be nice to be even six feet away from her."

"We're both kind of touchy people, always have been that way. But just to be able to be six feet or 10 feet away and to talk personally, like face-to-face, it's a lot different," he said.

"You don't always have to be talking and kissing and hugging, but just to have somebody that you've been married to for [52] years … just to have that fact of knowing that she's around instead of on the end of a telephone, it'll be nice to see her."