Former CFL stars use Grey Cup week to tackle domestic violence

As a professional football player, Keon Raymond played the game with emotion and enjoyed being in the spotlight.

But for years, the former Calgary Stampeders linebacker and Grey Cup winner hid a dark secret about growing up with domestic abuse.

"My mom Darlene Hall, she's the backbone of who I am as a man," Raymond told a group of 200 business leaders at the Chateau Lacombe Hotel Wednesday.

"She endured a lot of abuse from my father growing up," he said.

He recalls he, his mother and his siblings driving from Missouri to Washington State to escape the abuse. "We drove two days to Seattle where we stayed in a shelter."

Raised by his mother in Seattle, Raymond found release through the game of football.

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He eventually turned pro in 2006, eventually winning two Grey Cup rings with Calgary.

After hanging up his cleats, Raymond teamed up with the Alberta Council of Women's Shelters.  

ACWS works with 41 shelters across the province and speaks out against violence against women and girls.

'Your past doesn't dictate your future'

"Even though I was a kid at the time — seven, eight years old — your past doesn't dictate your future," Raymond said.

"No matter whatever that kid is going through in regards to the domestic violence, you know it won't define who you are as a young man, or a young woman and I want to make sure that when I go out I spread that message," he said

Former Edmonton Eskimos and B.C. Lions safety JR Larose is another former CFLer who shares his story of domestic violence.

Larose speaks for the Ending Violence Association of British Columbia and works with the CFL in providing mandatory training for players and staff on domestic abuse. 

'Standing with women and not against them'

Larose said hearing a former NHL player talk about his experiences convinced him to do the same.   

"That's what this is all about, raising awareness on these issues and creating conversations," he said. "We're now standing with women and not against them.

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"It's a small percentage of men who commit these acts of violence that really ruins it for the vast majority, but we need the vast majority to start speaking up now and that's what this is all about." 

It's a shift in thinking which Jan Reimer, executive director of ACWS, has seen first hand since joining the organization in 2001.

"If we can get that critical mass of men saying, 'Hey, that's not OK behaviour' and call that behaviour out when it happens, then it's no longer publicly sanctioned and we can really make great inroads."

Larose and Raymond will be at Commonwealth Stadium on Sunday, standing under a tent on the concourse, ready to talk about the Grey Cup game, but, more importantly, about domestic violence and what can be done to stop it.