Families who have lost loved ones to suicide say the grief is lonely and the stigma is real

WARNING: This story contains discussion of suicide

Since losing her 21-year-old son in 2014, and his best friend a year later, Cheryl Wituik has made it a tradition to attend an annual walk that commemorates Londoners who have taken their own lives, and raises awareness for suicide prevention. 

The walk, held Tuesday night in London's Victoria Park, has allowed Wituik to honour the legacy of the pair whom she remembers as "amazing young men who were very artistic and funny." But the walk also helped her find a community with other families grieving a similar loss. 

"There are very few places that you can be with others who've experienced suicide loss because it's very hidden, so having opportunities like this to share with each other about the people you've lost and ask questions is very meaningful," she said. 

"Especially for the newer families, because they usually feel very isolated and alone in their loss so to come to a place that's gentle, safe and supportive is really important."

Wituik was one of dozens attending the walk which is an event that takes place every year on Sept. 10. In 2003, the day was dubbed as World Suicide Prevention Day by the International Association for Suicide Prevention and the World Health Organization.

This year's walk had the theme of "Lifting the Silence" aimed at changing the narrative on suicide, said organizer Elora Watson, board chair of Suicide Prevention Middlesex-London.

"We're really hoping to address the stigma that still exists when it comes to suicide and suicide loss to ensure people have a safe space to talk about their loved one who has died and the grief they're experiencing," said Watson, 26, whose dad David died by suicide eight years ago. 

Wituik, who works with bereaved families in her career, finds that loved ones experiencing suicide loss often feel shame at expressing their grief and the stigma prevents others from being able to support them. 

"Every time I come here, there's new families that are experiencing this loss and it breaks my heart," she said. "There's still a lot of work to be done to openly support people the same way they would support someone who lost a loved one in a vehicle accident or cancer."

John Pacheco attended the event in memory of his brother Tony, who he described as a very creative person and self-taught musician. Pacheco is now producing a play called Man Up, which focuses on male suicide and its impact on surviving loved ones.

Since Tony's death in June 2009, Pacheco said he's become more aware of what the signs of someone struggling can look like and always tries to reach out in support.

"We talk about suicide so much in the sense of when, how and where but we don't go to those people after the tragic event and see how they're doing," he said. "It doesn't matter whether you think someone's at the brink [of suicide] or not, the big deal is being able to reach out."

Watson wants people to know that although not all suicides can be prevented, it's important for communities to enhance their own knowledge, such as warning signs and how to have difficult conversations to someday eliminate the stigma altogether, she said. 

Afternoon Drive4:38Remembering lives lost to suicide and working toward prevention

CBC's Isha Bhargava joins Afternoon Drive from Victoria Park for the annual Lifting the Silence walk for suicide prevention awareness. She is joined by Elora Ramani Watson, chair of Suicide Prevention Middlesex London, the group organizing the walk.

If you or someone you know is struggling, here's where to get help:

• Suicide Crisis Helpline: Call or text 988
• Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 (phone), live chat counselling on the website.
• Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention: Find a 24-hour crisis centre.
• This guide from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health outlines how to talk about suicide with someone you're worried about.