Trans Day of Visibility event turns into surprise proposal in southwestern Manitoba

When Wendy Friesen arrived at an event for Brandon's Trans Day of Visibility on Friday, she planned to celebrate her friends in the gender-diverse community.

She ended up getting the surprise of her life, when her girlfriend appeared on stage toward the end of the night with a ring and a marriage proposal.

Friesen said yes.

She and Anastasia Jane Gibson have been together for two years and have been each other's rock, they said.

"I'd say we've lived 1,000 lives within those two years," said Gibson.

Friesen supported Gibson through a cancer battle, and they've stood together as transgender activists in southwestern Manitoba.

"It's only made us stronger," Gibson said. "Since I met Wendy, I won the lottery."

Manitoba marks the International Trans Day of Visibility on March 31, but in Brandon, the celebrations were held a little early. Friday's event featured musical performances and art from the gender-diverse community, along with a drag show.

Gibson made the proposal at the end of the night, as Friesen was reading out the names of door-prize winners.

Proposing at the celebration was a chance to show and celebrate trans lives and love, said Gibson.

"I think it's important for folks to know that we love, we live," Gibson said. "My goodness, look at who my fiancée is. Like, why wouldn't I wanna celebrate that, show that off to the world?"

Friesen said she was "totally blindsided by the proposal." 

It felt fitting to propose this year, as Manitoba marks the 20th anniversary of same-sex marriage being legalized in the province, Gibson said. 

"We need to keep living our lives and showing … that we're not going to let what's happening right now stop us," Gibson said, a reference to attacks on the transgender community.

"We're gonna be loud and we're gonna be proud."

'No one is going to eradicate us'

While the Trans Day of Visibility celebrates the gender-diverse community, it's also a chance to combat bigotry through education, Gibson said.

"We're not groomers.… We are not sick," Gibson said. "We're human beings that just want to live authentically and we've come a long way to do that."

Gibson waited until she was 51 years old to live as her authentic self because of messages that told her it was not OK to be transgender, she said — something that can force some people to hide who they are.

Many people have had a similar journey, and it's scary to see these messages on the rise, said Gibson.

"There are folks that are saying that we should be wiped off the face of the planet," she said. "No one is going to eradicate us. We are here and we are fiercely here."

Funds raised from the Trans Day of Visibility event will support the Westman Empowerment Fund, which aims "to break barriers to transition for trans and gender-diverse people in Westman," said Leila Praznik, the fund's director.

The fund is essential because it can make it easier for people in southwestern Manitoba to access gender-affirming resources and care, said Praznik.

During the event, the fund announced a new free gender-affirming apparel program, which will help people who need items like chest binders but can't afford or safely obtain them.

The first intake will have three beneficiaries. Praznik said one spot has been designated for someone who is Black, Indigenous or a person of colour.

Like Gibson, Praznik expressed concern that transphobia is becoming more vocal, from the local to the international level.

"Last year, I just heard bad news," Praznik said. "That did a number on my mental health, as I'm sure it did to a lot of people in the trans and gender diverse community."

She's scared some people feel emboldened to take transgender people's self-expression, rights and freedom of movement in public spaces away, Praznik said.

"I do believe the moral arc of the universe does bend towards justice, but as long as we keep fighting for it," Praznik said. "We just need to get out and make sure our needs are heard."

Celebrating the trans and gender-diverse community year-round is a way to build up and protect the community, said Linden Haubrick, a volunteer at Friday's event.

"It's almost like healing your inner child, because oftentimes these performers didn't get the chance to perform in their body, so this is healing themselves," he said.

Friday's event shows that there are talented and visible people in Brandon's gender-diverse community, Haubrick said, and he hoped everyone took home a message of love and respect for one another.

"We're just like you. We're no different than everyday people," Haubrick said.

"Just because … we have transitioned doesn't make it different than cis folk."