'We need to walk together': How Canadians can advance reconciliation in their everyday lives

As Canadians mark the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation on Monday, Lee Mae Spence says a key step people can take is to gain an understanding of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission's 94 calls to action.

Those 94 calls, delivered with its final report in 2015, aim to repair "the legacy of residential schools and advance the process of Canadian reconciliation," the commission said.

Spence, an Ininew and Métis consultant based in Winnipeg, says reconciliation requires consent, meaning "those harmed get to determine what repair looks like."

It's important for all Canadians to not only make time to look at the 94 calls to action — which span several areas, such as child education, health, justice, education and business — but to start conversations about them with their friends and families, because each call was informed by residential school survivors, she said.

"They shared their truth and courage for all of us to learn from them, and I think that we have to honour [that] by learning and embodying their requests to those calls to action," said Spence.

Reconciliation is ultimately about Indigenous and non-Indigenous people in Canada sharing the path forward, she said.

"We need to walk together. I feel like it would be a huge loss for non-Indigenous people to not walk with us, because as Indigenous people, we have so much to offer."

Spence says Indigenous people also have a role to play in reconciliation.

"If we have the capacity to like, use our voice and be in spaces that feel inviting and safer … then I think that we have a responsibility to make sure it doesn't happen again," she said, referring to residential schools.

"I think another role of ours is to also reclaim that joy and happiness, and ease and peace, and to send it back to our ancestors."

'There may not ever be reconciliation for some'

The National Day for Truth and Reconciliation, first officially observed in 2021, is meant to honour the children who died while attending residential schools and the survivors, families and communities still affected by the legacy of that system. 

It's also known as Orange Shirt Day, in honour of Phyllis Webstad, whose orange shirt — given to her by her grandmother — was taken away from her on her first day of school at a B.C. residential school in 1973.

The day is being marked as a statutory holiday for the first time in Manitoba this year.

Wayne Mason Jr., the director of operations of Winnipeg's Wa-Say Healing Centre — which has organized the Orange Shirt Day healing walk in the city in the last four years — says reconciliation comes in many forms, including showing up to Indigenous-led events on Monday and listening to residential school survivors.

"Just being there and supporting survivors is the biggest one," said Mason.

Survivors want to be listened to, he said.

"Before they can even think of reconciliation, they want their truth and their stories to be acknowledged, to be believed."

Mason, whose grandfather was a residential school survivor, says reconciliation is a two-way street. He encourages Indigenous people to be open and honest with non-Indigenous people who want to learn about the history of the schools.

"We can't just say, 'OK, this is what happened to us, what are you going to do for us?'" Mason said.

"We have to tell our truths. We have to have other people listening to that, and then sit down and say, 'What can we do so that this never happens again?'"

Part of reconciliation is also understanding that while some survivors have chosen forgiveness as a way forward, others "will never forgive," he said.

"There may not ever be reconciliation for some survivors."

'Don't wait for permission to be an ally'

Anyone who has the opportunity to give an Indigenous person a chance should consider it, says Sheila North, the University of Winnipeg's executive director of Indigenous engagement.

"I think that's what keeps Indigenous people down a lot, is they're not even given an opportunity to apply for things," said North, who is also a former CBC journalist.

"They have trouble if they look or sound Indigenous, and if their name sounds Indigenous."

Making space for Indigenous people means acknowledging personal biases when considering an Indigenous applicant for a job, housing or educational programs, she said.

"We need to get out of our comfort zones and be open to other people, especially Indigenous people, during this time."

Although it might not be easy or their responsibility, North's advice to other Indigenous people is "not to get tired" of having conversations with non-Indigenous people who genuinely want to become good allies.

"I think every effort needs to be made to try and bridge levels of understanding, and be open to that, but also be open to speaking up when you see something wrong."

The residential school system disrupted the ability of many Indigenous families to be able to learn their languages and traditions, she said, and they need "assurance and support that other people do care."

"Having Orange Shirt Day is helping to do that," she said.

The meaning of Orange Shirt Day varies depending on who you ask, but Justin Langan describes it as a time to "understand your place within the system that has held Indigenous people down for so long."

"It's an opportunity to get out of your comfort zone, to go in the community and share in a lot of the cultures that might be new to you," said Langan, the executive director of O'Kanata — a new Winnipeg-based non-profit that supports Indigenous youth in post-secondary studies.

He says the little things, like wearing an orange shirt or showing up to listen to Indigenous people at events, do matter.

"Wear it for yourself and understand that you are there and you're supporting," said Langan, who also serves on CBC Manitoba's community advisory board.

"Even if you stay inside all day wearing that orange shirt, you're doing it for a bigger purpose of reconciliation."

He says there are many ways for Canadians to make personal acts of reconciliation year-round, but non-Indigenous people should take the initiative.

"Don't wait for permission to be an ally to Indigenous people and communities."