Garde-Robe eases the stress of shopping for trans, non-binary people

Elliot Lauzon always despised shopping for clothes.

As an 18-year-old queer man, who was assigned female at birth but transitioned two years ago, shopping in a traditional clothing store was always stressful.

"What are people going to think? What are people going to say if they talk to me?...How will they look at me?" Lauzon says.

He's been told by employees that he's in the wrong section and has had panic attacks when clothes don't fit his body.

Shopping only started to become fun and "normal" for Lauzon when he discovered Quebec's City's thrift store, Garde-Robe.

Launched in the fall of 2017, Garde-Robe is run by community group Divergenres. The shop is tailored specifically to trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming people. The words "men" or "women" are nowhere to be seen.

Instead, the piles of clothing laid out on tables are identified by their size and by their type: tops or bottoms.

For once, customers know "it's OK to be them," says Alexys Guay, who started the project.

Guay sets up the outlet once a month in Quebec City's St-Roch neighbourhood, but also takes it on the road once in a while, such as last month's event at Laval University during the school's sexual and gender diversity festival.

The troublesome shopping experiences

Alexys Guay, who identifies as non-binary, also has a difficult time shopping for clothes in typical stores. Guay is often asked if they're shopping for a boyfriend or gets a lot of looks from other customers.

Glances can put down or depress trans, non-binary and gender non-conforming people, Guay explains.

"You will have a big crisis of [gender] dysphoria. Maybe you will start crying and won't be able to do anything from the rest of the day because it was too much for you."

Finding the right fit

Wearing the right clothes is very important for Lauzon. The 18-year-old feels he can't leave home without his chest binder, a compression sports bra that flattens the chest.

"If I'm not flat, I'm not going out of the house — that's how it is," he says.

At Garde-Robe, he found a place to try on binders.

Guay adds that bathing suits and underwear are other examples of clothing that can be challenging to try on at stores, for fear of being judged by staff.

Guay has noticed the impact the thrift store has had on shoppers since it opened almost two years ago. Last month, a first-time customer, who was assigned male at birth and was transitioning, had driven several hours with his wife to come to Garde-Robe.

"He felt welcomed and was saying, 'You're going to see me again.'"

Guay dreams to one day see all stores change their layout so that clothes aren't sorted by gender.

"There are so many ways where it could just be: skirts, pants, shorts," says Guay. "I think it just takes a few modifications and an open mind."

Clothes at the thrift store all come from donations made to Divergenres. While the organization struggles to look for more funding, it is dedicated to maintaining Garde-Robe's pay-what-you-can model.

Lauzon says that's a big help because he's often faced discrimination at work and has had problems holding down jobs.

"For me, personally, Garde-Robe really eased my mental stress.… The thrift shop was like a gift from paradise because it came right at the time I needed it."

Read more in our Close up on Gender series:

Close up on Gender is a CBC Montreal series for radio, web and television. You'll hear from Montrealers who are sharing their stories, or thinking and acting differently when it comes to gender in 2019.