Live-in program at AMCAL Family Services helps teens, parents reconnect

At 15, Kelly was depressed, numbing her feelings with drugs, struggling at school, distancing herself from her parents and feeling helpless when something inside pushed her to get help.

She and her family live on the West Island. Her parents had already turned to the outreach program at AMCAL Family Services, a non-profit agency in Pointe-Claire that offers counselling and other support to families, but that wasn't enough.

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At Kelly's insistence, her parents signed her up for AMCAL's residential program.

Teens in that program live in a large red brick house just off Lakeshore Road in Pointe-Claire Village five days a week for a minimum of eight weeks, returning home on weekends.

"I was finally able to love myself while I was here in the program," said Kelly, whose real name CBC has agreed not to reveal. "Before I came into this program, I wasn't even able to walk out the door without makeup."

Help offered on sliding scale

AMCAL is one of 40 non-profit agencies supported by West Island Community Shares, the beneficiary of this year's CBC Montreal Christmas Sing-In charity drive.

The money AMCAL receives helps the agency offer a sliding scale to families who can't afford the full cost of their services, which works out to an average of $2,500 for 14 weeks, including follow-up services.

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Delia Noel, co-ordinator of AMCAL's residential program, has seen how far Kelly has come in just a few months.

"Kelly had a lot of fear, had a lot of negative self-talk masked by this really bright bubbly personality," Noel said.

But behind all that was someone who was hurting, she said. "To see her now being strong and standing on that solid foundation … has been wonderful."

The program itself is tough. There's a lot of structure, and there are clear limits on the teens from the moment they arrive.

You get to focus on helping yourself and making a better you- Kelly

"You get searched, then you give them all your stuff, so you don't get to keep your phone, which I find is great," Kelly said.

"You get to focus on helping yourself and making a better you. You don't have outside people always trying to talk to you and always trying to interfere, so I found that really helps," she said.

The teens are held accountable for their behaviour—something Noel says parents often struggle with.

"Parents are almost afraid to parent their kids," she said.

"But what, time and time and time again, teens say, is when the parents put those boundaries up is when they know they're loved."

Parents work too

AMCAL also works with parents, who must attend a two-hour workshop every week to help "re-empower" them to set limits, and to help both parents get on the same page in order to send a clear message to their teen.

"In re-empowering the teens it's recognizing that they do have choices but they have to be held accountable and held responsible for whatever choice they make," Noel said.