Adam Lloyd's family hopes to save lives through his story

To an outsider, Adam Lloyd appeared to have everything going for him — a good job, a loving family, plenty of friends and a great sense of humour.

Even on the last day of his life, everything seemed normal. He went to work and went shopping. He'd seen friends and picked up food from a drive-thru. 

So when he took his own life on the Dobson Trail in Riverview on June 30, people were shocked.  His sister, Mandy Bassermann, says no one saw it coming.

"He wasn't what you would typically imagine when you think, `Oh, this person is depressed. He was just a regular guy," she said.

"When Adam passed away, a lot of people who didn't really know him well asked if he'd been sick, and initially, I was replying `No.' But then I realized he was sick. He had been sick for a long time." 

Bassermann said people were asking a lot of questions and her family realized it would be easier if they were open about what had happened

They also hoped it might help someone else battling depression realize that it's okay and ask for help. They decided to start a frank conversation about mental health, beginning with Lloyd's obituary, written by Bassermann.   

"Adam chose to end his time on this Earth on Tuesday, June 30, 2015 at the age of 30," she wrote. "It was so easy to make him laugh; maybe that's why we all find this so hard to understand." 

The last line of his obit is a lifeline. 

Please know, if you're struggling — YOU MATTER.- Adam Lloyd's obituary

"Please know, if you're struggling — YOU MATTER. Call someone, text someone, anyone. Reach out. You are not alone. You are loved."

The minister who presided at the funeral service supported the family's decision.

"Rather than hide behind platitudes, the family chose to publish his obituary with honesty and dignity," Aaron Billard wrote on his Facebook page the day of Lloyd's funeral.   

Bassermann says it's time for people to talk about mental health. 

"People tend to be ashamed to talk about it or embarrassed and we wanted to shed light on the fact that it happens a lot more often than you might think and that people shouldn't feel this way, they shouldn't be afraid to ask for help," she said.

Frustrated with the system

Lloyd began experiencing symptoms of mental illness as a teenager with anxiety and depression. He started seeing a psychiatrist and taking medications. A lot of people who didn't know him well would never have guessed he was struggling.

Recently, Bassermann said her brother began to worry he'd lose access to his psychotherapy sessions. He had private insurance, but his annual maximum was running out.

"He had admitted himself to the psychiatric unit at the hospital a few times when he was feeling suicidal in the past, but he ended up checking himself out after a day or two when he realized there was no doctor in the unit on the weekends and he was just being offered more medication and told to wait until Monday to talk to someone. And he just felt like doors were being slammed in his face," Bassermann said. 

If love and support could have saved him, he would still be here.- Mandy Bassermann

"Our family doc is wonderful and he helped him as much as he could, but Adam had some pretty deep issues that he needed long-term therapy for and he just didn't have enough access to that locally, so he was very frustrated with the system."

Bassermann calls the situation "heartbreaking and really, really frustrating" and says her family and her brother's friends did everything they could to help.

"If love and support could have saved him, he would still be here. Unfortunately, it just wasn't enough."

Sister joins 'Semicolon Movement'

The family is working with the Town of Riverview on a small memorial along the Dobson Trail, one of Lloyd's favourite places. They hope to install a bench or sign inscribed with a positive, uplifting message along with phone numbers to call for help if people are feeling hopeless or in need of assistance.

"We're hoping to make some noise and make people realize there's nothing to be ashamed of as far as depression and mental illness are concerned and not to be afraid to reach out," Bassermann said. 

She and three others have also joined what's known as the Semicolon Movement. The day of her brother's funeral, they had semicolons tattooed on their wrists in what they consider to be a powerful and meaningful gesture. 

"When an author could have ended his sentence but chose not to, they use a semicolon instead of a period," Bassermann said. "They pause, they continue, they go on. The author is you and the sentence is your life." 

"I feel like if we can stop even one person from making the same decision that Adam did to take their own life, I feel like his loss won't be for nothing," Bassermann said.