Surrogate's dream of helping childless couple reaches round the world

Terri Stewart is seven months pregnant with twins, but the babies aren't hers.

The 35-year-old woman is a surrogate mother for a couple living in Australia, something the Fredericton woman decided as a child she would do someday.

Her own parents had difficulty having children, said Stewart, who was adopted along with her two siblings.

"I knew it was something I truly wanted to do," she said.

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For the past seven months, Stewart has been carrying twins from donor eggs and sperm from a couple who live in Toronto. She expected the babies would be born in February, then taken to Australia by their intended parents.

But about two weeks ago, the pregnancy took an unexpected turn.

The first-time surrogate went into pre-term labour and had to be rushed from New Brunswick to Ottawa, where the twin girls are expected to be born within a few weeks.

Ontario is one of only two provinces in Canada that allow an automatic transfer of parentage, from surrogate to intended parents, without the need to go to court. The other province is British Columbia.

Hayley Hickman, who will be the twins' mother, booked a plane ticket from Australia to Canada, not wanting Stewart to be left alone.

"It's so hard to grasp what another human being would want to put themselves through to give a complete stranger this wonderful gift," Hickman said. "It's a dream come true."

Right now, Stewart is on modified bed rest and has to use a wheelchair to get around and do her Christmas shopping, but at least she'll be with family. 

She always wanted to help

When she was 12, Stewart worked on a school project about adoption and stumbled across an article about surrogates in an encyclopedia. When she went home that day, she asked her parents why they opted for adoption instead of surrogacy. 

"Most people didn't even know what surrogacy was," said Stewart, who has also been a doula, or birth companion, for 13 years. 

Over the years, Stewart said, she knew it was just a matter of time before she took steps to become a surrogate. That time came last fall when she made the decision with her husband and kids. She contacted an agency and had a mental and physical assessment before a profile was posted to the agency's website.

How they met

After sifting through dozens of responses to the post, Stewart felt one in particular stood out. It was from Hickman.

"It was very much like a dating site," Stewart said. "I found myself excited to see her email come up."  

They're making our family complete.- Hayley Hickman

The families met through an online surrogate organization that they're no longer with.

Stewart said Hickman put a lot of thought into her email and was quite funny.

"About four times in the email she said, 'I don't want to keep you, I know you've probably gotten many messages,'" Stewart said. "I found that quite charming."

Stewart, who originally promised herself she wouldn't choose an international family, was taken by the Australian couple's accents and their story.

"When you know, you know," she said. "They have been through more loss than anyone has experienced in a lifetime."

Although she loves the two babies she's carrying and feels protective of them, Stewart is looking forward to giving birth.

The New Brunswick mom said she won't have any problem giving the babies to their Australian parents, because she's already busy enough with her own kids.

"I'm not giving them up," she said. "I'm giving them back. They're not mine."

A seven-year journey

Hayley and her husband, Iain Hickman, have spent the past seven years trying to have a baby.

A few years ago, they discovered Hayley had cervical cancer. The couple continued to try for a pregnancy, but there were several miscarriages.

In 2013, they conceived a girl who was diagnosed with Down syndrome and later developed hydrops fetalis , severe swelling in the fetus. Hickman was forced to deliver a still baby at 24 weeks.  

 "We have experienced the joy of pregnancy but unfortunately not the joy of having a living child," Hayley said.

This year, doctors told her she couldn't try having kids anymore and she was forced to have a radical hysterectomy.

The couple never gave up. First, they looked into adoption, but waiting lists were long. Then they turned to surrogacy in Australia, which also had a lengthy lineup. Then they looked into surrogacy in Canada.  

"I could not imagine a future without children," said Hickman, who is turning 40 in the next few days. "I couldn't imagine not giving that love. "This really can't be all there is to life. ... I couldn't imagine not giving that love."

That's where Stewart comes in.

Hickman said the birth of her two girls will be the best moment of the couple's lives and she's hoping for happy and healthy babies.

"My husband and I are like the two fathers in the situation," she said. "We're distant from the actual pregnancy but we're just as invested."

Another Christmas surprise

It's illegal to pay for surrogates in Canada, but future parents can cover the costs of their surrogate's pregnancy.

So Hickman and her husband have also agreed to pay for Stewart's family to fly to Ottawa and spend Christmas together.

"That was the only gift that I could ask for this year," said Stewart, who was ecstatic when she heard the news. 

'It's a hard thing to leave your family behind.'

Hickman said it was the least she could do for Stewart, who was kind enough to carry her twins and give up Christmas at her New Brunswick home this year.

"They're making our family complete," Hickman said

And it doesn't stop there.

Once the babies are born, the two families plan to stay in touch and watch the girls as they grow up.

"We're family now," said Hickman.