Regifting doesn't have to be bad manners, says etiquette expert

Is it bad manners to regift? It doesn't have to be.

Maritime Noon turned to two regifting experts to explain the pitfalls of recycling gifts.

Charles MacPherson is an etiquette expert and the founder of the Charles MacPherson Academy for Butlers and Household Managers, a private college based in Toronto, and Lindsay Coulter is the Queen of Green with the David Suzuki Foundation.

Here are some of their tips:

1. Regift unto others, as you would have regift unto you

"If you know someone who would truly love whatever that item is, then I think it's absolutely appropriate to regift," says MacPherson.

But the butler draws the line at tacky regifts.

"If you're really only passing along something that you don't like on to someone else because you just don't want to buy them a present, or you want to get rid of it, then I think it's absolutely wrong," he said.

Coulter says there's a definite "no-no" for broken things or opened items.

"There's places to donate and recycle all those types things. It's not to get rid of junk," she said.

Jeff VanVeriet, of Dartmouth, said he gave his brother two pairs of "hard," well-worn, "indestructible" work socks for Christmas one year after his sister-in-law threw out his brother's pair.

"It was his favourite gift of the year," VanVeriet recalled.

2. Be honest about it

When you're regifting, tell your gift receiver why you thought they'd love it. And make sure to take off old packaging, said MacPherson.

"I would rather you say, 'I read this book, I thought it was really great. I think you're going to enjoy it, so I'd love to be able to give that to you,'" he said.

"When there's dishonesty, that's when it becomes either shameful, or it has that bad connotation."

3. Avoid the boomerang effect

Barbara Lake received five clocks for her wedding — many from some of her husband's eight siblings. Years later, she accidentally regifted one of those clocks to her sister-in-law — the one who had given her the clock in the first place.

While it's hard to be perfectly organized, MacPherson says it can be worth it to make note of who gave you the gift in the first place.

"Put a little Post-it on it just to remind us who gave it to us and when," he said.

4. Make it an event

The Queen of Green suggests making a regiving occasion.

"It's about finding something a good home," she said.

From clothing swaps to baby showers, hold a party where all of the gifts are regifted.

Geraldine Carroll, in Upper Brand, has a regifting office party every year. The rules: it can't be something you've received from family, or picked up at the office party the year before.

5. Make sure they'll use what you're giving them

Cindy Etta Turnbull, of Avondale, said she and her brother-in-law have been exchanging the same jar of preserved plums for 14 years. It started when Turnbull was given plums by her mother.

Turnbull didn't have the heart to tell her mother that she hated plums, so she regifted the jar to her brother-in-law. The next year it was regifted back to her, and a new tradition was born.

"It is disgusting," Turnbull said of the now well-aged preserves. "It's nothing but a jar of black pulp. I wouldn't dare open it!"