Single moms helping single moms through the pandemic
Facebook group connects women across the city with 'buddies' in their neighbourhoods
Natasha Rose remembers the overwhelming feeling of desperation she felt as a single mom to two young kids, even before the pandemic.
She's now a parent to four kids ages seven to 17 in a blended family, but she wanted to help single friends who are struggling to cope with competing demands during the COVID-19 crisis.
"I know how I felt when one of them would be sick in the night and needed to go to hospital. I'd have to bring them both out of the house, and I couldn't imagine having to take my kids out into the community or to the grocery store right now," Rose said.
To help, Rose created a Facebook group connecting single moms with potential new friends in their own neighbourhood. In less than a week, the group — called the "Single Mom's Buddy Program" — has taken off "like wildfire," Rose said, and is closing in on 200 members from all corners of the city.
'A real angel'
Julie Constantineau saw Rose's group pop up on one of other her moms' pages. Though ordinarily she wouldn't reach out online, the mother of two teenagers suddenly found herself in self-isolation after developing a sore throat.
Constantineau works in the diagnostic department at the Queensway Carleton Hospital, and while waiting for COVID-19 test results, she couldn't leave the house to get groceries for her family. After posting about her situation, she received several offers of help including one from a woman who offered to pick up her shopping that same day.
"She picked up every single thing on my list and brought it to me. It was totally above and beyond amazing. A real angel — that's the only word to describe her," said Constantineau, whose COVID-19 test has since come back negative.
On Thursday, she started work at the city's new west- end respiratory centre.
Paying it forward
Because of that experience, Constantineau decided to give back, connecting on the group with Bells Corners mom Laura Twiner.
Twiner, who has vision problems, would rather not take her seven-year-old daughter to the grocery store right now.
"It is very frowned upon, understandably, to bring your child with you. But when you're a single parent you have no choice. There's a lot of judgment right now about that," she said.
Twiner, a Carleton University researcher who's currently working from home, has also been struggling to get her work done in the early mornings and evenings to care for her daughter and free up their only computer.
She said she's appreciated the offers of counselling and grocery shopping to help her get through the pandemic.
Hard to ask for help
Rose said while the group is helping women in practical ways, there have also been offers of emotional and even financial support in the form of gift cards.
"I know it's really hard to ask for help, but one of the biggest lessons I learned is if you don't, nobody knows that you need it. I'm trying to take the stigma away," Rose said.
Some women have also organized virtual coffee clubs to help keep each other company. Rose said she hopes someone steps up to create a similar group for single dads.
For Constantineau, who is new to Ottawa, the group has offered hope in a dark time.
"It makes me feel more connected to the community. I'm very shy and it's difficult for me to make friends. All of these moms — just look at all the comments and requests — it's really a great group of women," she said.
"Hopefully we'll get through this with something more than we had in the beginning — more compassion, love and understanding."
