Advocates push for Sask. to offer financial support to couples experiencing infertility

A fertility coach and people experiencing infertility are calling on the Saskatchewan government to offer financial help to people struggling to have children. 

One in six couples in Canada struggle with getting pregnant or sustaining pregnancy, according to the federal government.

Kelsey Connell, a fertility coach and vice president of the Family Fertility Fund of Saskatchewan, said infertility isn't talked about enough, and that it takes an emotional, physical and financial toll.

"A big part of it is people see it as a dirty little secret," Connell said. "I think a lot of people have a lot of shame surrounded by it because they think they're broken or they think there's something wrong with them." 

Connell and her husband tried for nine years to have children. They were successful and had one daughter. Connell wanted to give her daughter a sibling, but had four miscarriages in a row over three years. 

"It was absolutely life changing," she said. "Nobody really understood what I was going through. The resources weren't there for support at this time, and I felt completely and utterly alone."

Connell started blogging about her experience, and men and women began reaching out to her, sharing their own stories. One theme she saw was the immense cost of treatment. 

"Out of the gate, you're looking at doing timed intercourse with medication. So that can be a few hundred dollars," Connell said. "If that's not working, you move on to IUI [intrauterine insemination]. IUI is around $500." 

IUI is where sperm is inserted directly into a woman's womb. The next step is intro vitro fertilization (IVF), where the egg and sperm are combined then inserted into the womb after a few days of growing. IVF can cost from $15,000 to $25,000, and there is no guarantee that it will work, she said. 

The Family Fertility Fund of Saskatchewan allows people to apply for financial assistance, but Connell said the provincial government stepping in — even for just a portion of the cost — would go a long way to help couples. 

Connell isn't alone. Lisa and Patti McDonald's fertility journey lasted six years. When the two women started dating, they wanted at least two kids, but it wasn't that simple. 

"We went through six rounds of IUI, and when that doesn't work, then they referred us to Calgary because they had a really good success rate," Lisa said. "That meant that we had to travel the province and have a whole bunch of time off work."

The two did eventually become pregnant. Their child is now four. Lisa said being a same-sex couple added a further complication, as they had to buy sperm.

They tried again two years after their first child, but even after two IVF treatments, an embryo transfer and $80,000, they had to stop trying. 

"It was horrifying. It's like the hardest thing anybody could ever go through," Lisa said. "You get to a certain threshold, you just kind of look at it and go, 'Hmm, yeah, I'd rather live a life now,' and you just have to move on."

Manitoba, Ontario, Quebec, New Brunswick and P.E.I. have programs in place to financially assist families — whether through tax credits or grants  — but Saskatchewan currently doesn't offer any support, according to Carolynn Dubé, the executive director of Fertility Matters Canada. 

Dubé said her organization tries to provide some support. She is also a fertility patient. She said not knowing where to turn and the societal pressures to have a family can be tough and expensive. 

"The sticker shock of what this was going to cost, as our only option to have a family was IVF, [had us] thinking, 'How do we do this?'" Dubé said. 

Both Connell and Dubé say tax dollars for families and couples would result in fewer tax dollars being spent on counselling and dealing with spin-off conditions like depression.

'Just adopt' and other unhelpful comments 

Connell said people who know others struggling with infertility should be mindful of what they say.

Things like 'just relax and it will happen,' 'at least you have one child,' or 'you could always adopt' aren't helpful when someone is managing infertility or miscarriages, she said.

Connell suggests saying, 'I don't know what this feels like, but I want to be here for you,' 'what can I do for you,' or even "just sitting there and letting the person cry or grieve or yell and scream and shout how unfair this feels and not saying anything."