Sask. doula uses own maternal mental health struggles to help new moms

Two years ago Cecilia Prokop was pregnant and expected a repeat of the "wonderful" time she had birthing and raising her first child. That expectation fell apart in spectacular fashion when baby Evelyn arrived.

Prokop, who lives in Regina, was shocked when she found herself needing 15 hours of sleep a day, crying for no real reason and struggling to meet the needs of Evelyn and her older daughter Elizabeth.

"[I spent] a lot of time wondering what was wrong with me and why I wasn't as happy as I should have been with this beautiful new baby in my life," Prokop told CBC Saskatchewan's Blue Sky.

Prokop felt the weight of the world. Guilt started creeping in. Taking her children out to do crafts or activities became overwhelming. Even feeding herself became a grind.

"Mothers especially, I think there is this societal expectation that this is the best day of your life, the happiest you're ever going to be is with these tiny kids at home," Prokop said.

We hear people say to moms all the time 'all that matters is a healthy baby.' I would dispute that.- Cecilia Prokop

She had friends who struggled with anxiety and depression after having children, but it was still tough for her to come to terms with her own problems considering she had a partner and little financial stress.

Looking back, she said she has come to realize her brain, hormones and other factors played a huge role. They made her feel helpless at the time, but now they've also given her a new perspective.

"That really gave me even more empathy for other people going through, whether it's postpartum mental health issues or at any time of their lives, that there's just really no explanation that is satisfying," she said.

Helping others with maternal mental health

As a doula, Prokop provides breastfeeding support and emotional assistance with her clients.

One lesson she's taken from her own experience is that new mothers don't need to be treated as fragile beings, but they also don't need people to try to fix them by offering armchair advice like, "Do you want to take a yoga class?"

Prokop is closely in touch with the services out there to help new mothers struggling with unexpected emotions.

The YMCA in Regina has a post-partum depression and anxiety support group. There is service through the provincial 811 health line that not only answers questions about children health concerns but offers a mental healthline that will do a follow-up to make sure they're getting the support the need.

Art therapy has opened up some creative outlets as well.

Prokop said that what helped her most was having friends and supports who were willing to sit with her and listen to what she needed on any given day.

"We hear people say to moms all the time 'all that matters is a healthy baby.' I would dispute that. I would say of course a healthy baby matters but so does a healthy and happy mom and dad and family. So you matter in this picture too."