Former Sudbury Pride chair says it's important to keep marking Pride month

The former chair of Sudbury's Pride group says as communities get ready to celebrate pride month, it's important to remember the struggles those in the LGBTQ community face now and in the past.

Tom Reid is founder of Sudbury's Access AIDS group and former chair of pride. June is Pride month and many towns and cities across the region are raising the rainbow flag and hosting virtual events to mark the occasion.

Reid says while many feel comfortable being out now, that's not the case for everyone and is especially true for those who grew up gay in the 1960s.

"I hope that pride committees of the future try to find ways to remember that pride was not a party," he said. "Pride has never been about a party. It's always been about a protest."

Reid says between the 60s and 80s, there was a "gay liberation" happening in the urban areas. However, he says that didn't translate into smaller rural areas.

"It was business as usual," he said. "You snuck out on your Saturday night and carried on the way you could trying to meet people."

He says many weren't open about their sexual orientation in fear of losing their job. Despite being gay, Reid married a woman and had a child.

"That's what circumstances brought me," he said. "To put it frankly, we were best friends and we got a little tipsy and oh dear, you're pregnant, what are you going to do?"

He says they got married because "that was the way it was in those days in the 60s."

"My father was delighted because that was going to make me normal," he said. "It was all about appearances. If you appeared to be normal, you are."

Reid and his wife divorced in 1975. He says he stayed single for 10 years after that, adding it was difficult to be himself in a small city. But he says in time, he did start finding places to be himself in the community, including a place owned by a local man who converted the basement of a property into a nightclub.

"Guys would come, we'd bring our own booze and we'd party all night," he said. "It was that simple and that innocent."

'Not safe'

But Reid says behaviour like that at the time had risks. He says potential interactions with authorities stayed in the back of his mind. He says at the time, gay people and police avoided each other "at all costs."

"As a gay man in a northern Ontario town, if you're out doing gay things like partying and drinking, you [asked] are you safe," he said.

"And the answer was always no. This was not safe."

Since then, police have made efforts to better the relationship with the LGBTQ community. In Sudbury, police have posted a message of support for Pride month.

"We recognize that recent events have challenged the trust between the public and police, and these serious issues bleed into all aspects of society, including the Pride community," the statement reads.

"We know that there is much work to be done and we will continue to work with you and listen to you. We want you to know, we welcome the opportunity to work together through community engagement and transparency. We are your allies and we stand with you."

As for pride in 2020, Reid says it's important to keep marking it.

"To tell the rest of the world that you cannot stop loving people, period," he said.

"You can't stop love. And that's what the parade is about. Homophobia hasn't gone away. We can dance in the street but be careful when you're dancing because it's on fire."