Toronto woman with restraining order says police were 'too busy' to help when she tried to report a breach
Toronto police say the matter is currently being investigated; advocates call alleged incident ‘troubling’
For Seojin Kim, going to the courts to get a restraining order felt like the only option after she broke up with her former partner.
Despite asking him to stop contacting her and blocking him, she says the calls, emails and texts were relentless — 450 missed calls, 11 voicemails and 500 emails in roughly six weeks. When she blocked his numbers, she says he'd call from a different line, and when she blocked his email, he created alternate addresses.
She says he loitered outside her home and work waiting for her, and even showed up at her workplace once, "pretending to be a customer."
"I was feeling unsafe and kind of scared about every time I had to go outside," Kim told CBC Toronto.
But even after an Ontario Superior Court Justice granted the 28-year-old a protective order on Feb. 21, 2025 that barred her ex from contacting her or being within 500 metres of her home or work, she says it was a struggle to get Toronto police to enforce it.
Her ex allegedly breached the order, reaching out to a friend of hers to make contact, then once again emailing her and sending her multiple e-transfers so that he could attach a message. CBC Toronto has reviewed dozens of these emails and messages.
When she first brought the protective order and extensive evidence of the breaches to Toronto police's 51 Division on April 12, she said no officer would even look at it — with one telling her, "we are too busy right now."
While her ex was eventually arrested, Kim says she doesn't understand why it took repeated attempts to enforce her restraining order.
"It doesn't make sense, they have to protect me; it's their duty. That's why we got a restraining order," said Kim. "If they don't do anything, then what's the point of a restraining order?"
Filing the report
Kim, a Korean immigrant who moved to Toronto in 2023, says she felt dismissed after the initial visit.
"They told me I had two options: sit and wait for several hours – with no guarantee I'd actually get to speak – or call the non-emergency line," Kim said.
When she did call the non-emergency line the next day, she says she was told to go to the station on her day off and wait. She then made a second visit to 51 Division on April 21 — her next day off — bringing with her a native English speaker, at which point she says an investigator agreed to file a report.
Toronto police confirmed Kim's ex was arrested the next day, on April 22, and charged with a harassment offence and for disobeying a lawful court order.
Some advocates say it's not the first time they've heard of a breach like this not taken seriously by law enforcement.
"My rightful, justified anger is that I don't know what it's going to take before people start paying attention to this," said Nneka MacGregor, executive director of the Women's Centre for Social Justice.
"I don't know what police are waiting for," she said.
MacGregor says police across the country have training in areas, such as intimate partner violence, but alleged incidents like these are a reminder they're not always put into practice.
She says she worries interactions like these will have a chilling effect on women — many of whom already struggle to report incidents to law enforcement.
"If women are seeing that police are not responding, responding with urgency and with care, they're not going to report," MacGregor said.
Police say 'no one should be turned away'
While Toronto police told CBC Toronto they couldn't speak to the specifics of what happened during Kim's initial visit, a spokesperson said the matter is currently being investigated and police are "taking these concerns seriously."
"We will take steps to ensure that all front desk personnel are fully aware of their obligations and the critical importance of responding appropriately to those seeking assistance," said spokesperson Stephanie Sayer.
Sayer's statement says in part that when someone comes to a division to report a crime, the time it takes to speak with an officer may vary depending on call volume and operational demands.
But "no one should be turned away," she said, and there are protocols in place for cases of intimate partner violence, which involve speaking directly to an officer and notifying Youth and Family Services.
Protective orders could use more 'teeth,' lawyer says
Meanwhile, a Toronto legal clinic says there are many ways in which protective orders can be improved.
Kim's interaction with police is "troubling" and highlights the need for systemic changes, says Deepa Mattoo, executive director and lawyer with the Barbra Schlifer Commemorative Clinic.
"Restraining orders are otherwise just a piece of paper if there is no follow up possible in these situations," said Mattoo.
"We want a reform in the system, a change in the system where restraining orders can actually have some better teeth."
In 2023, the Law Commission of Ontario, an independent group that looks at legal reform, began a project reviewing protective orders in the province – including how they're enforced – following the recommendation of the Barbra Schlifer clinic.
"When police are not effectively enforcing protection orders, it actually means that abusers are more empowered to keep breaching those orders," said Laura Snowdon, the lawyer leading the commission's review.
Not only do women have to jump through significant procedural and evidentiary hurdles to even get a protection order, Snowdon says, but in cases where they are granted one, the rates of non-compliance are extremely high.
She says the commission is also seeing cases where breaches that involve physical violence are treated differently than cases where there isn't physical violence.
"There seems to be a bit of a disconnect between what the purpose of protection orders is, and a bit of a misunderstanding of the fact that protection orders are in place to stop violence from escalating," said Snowdon.
As for Kim, she says she's sharing her story because she wants other women, who may be vulnerable and in similar situations, to continue to speak up until they get the help they need.
"If there's someone who hesitates to report, I would just say – do it for your safety," Kim said.