2SLGBTQ+ seniors in Windsor are making a point of staying connected
A queer seniors group in Windsor is intentionally building community in the last chapter of life
A chatty, witty group of 2SLGBTQ+ seniors in Windsor, Ont. gather around a table every other week to catch up on life, share pizza and snacks and build new friendships. For many of them, it's become a lifeline.
Mel Lucier, 57, hosts the group at the Windsor-Essex Pride Fest offices. She's also part of the community herself.
"A lot of seniors as they age suffer from isolation," she said. "Not only has this brought queer seniors together, but it's given them some life outside of here as well."
Lucier said the group tried to plan activities when it first started, but it quickly became mostly conversation.
"[They're] all just genuinely interested in one another. A lot of people have formed relationships and meet for coffee outside of here too," she said.
"It's very nerdy, but this gives me so much hope and joy in the human race to see so many people celebrate each other and celebrate being part of the community as well. It's probably my favourite thing I do."
Regular attendees, Gilles, 77, and husband Mike DeGuire, 79, weren't entirely sure they would have an opportunity to continue making new friends at this stage in life.
"I had hoped I would have friends in the last chapter of life. And now I do, and I don't take that for granted," Mike said.
For him, reflecting on the new friends he has now is a stark contrast to the queer community he grew up with.
"I grew up in the middle of the early gay rights [movement] in New York in '67 and '69," he said.
"It was a time that was rich in the pain but also rich in the struggle. And we saw how the struggle was bringing truth."
It was Mike who introduced Gilles to the group. The two married in 2010 and have been together for over 30 years.
"It's so nice to be in a place where I can be authentic about myself at this age," Gilles said.
"I feel very fortunate, I feel like I can continue to be feeling alive and having [engagement] from my community. I wake up with the sun and have a consistent life of love."
Earlier this month, Caesars Windsor announced a donation of $10,000 to the group to keep it running. For Lucier, it's a game-changing show of support.
"This allows us to exhale and continue programming that supports the community, to know we can bring joy, socialization and hope to people's lives," she said.
Another member of the group, Michelle Caldwell, 66, has been a part of the group since its inception and is one of the few women in attendance at the gathering.
"A lot of the gentlemen that come here are just not around people anymore [in everyday life], so it's just a great thing," she said, though she does hope more women come as well.
"I don't just come for the pizza; I come because these guys are great, and they're funny. I love these guys, and a few women come [too], so women, get here!"
Lucier and Caldwell say there have been up to 38 attendees in any given week, and it's a highlight for many of the seniors who don't have many other group options to help them connect with peers, especially in the 2SLGBTQ+ community.
Windsor-Essex Pride Fest also hosts connection nights for younger people, with a group for 18-29-year-olds and another for those aged 12-18.
When asked what message he had for younger people in the community, Gilles said, "Do not fear. Do not fear. Beautiful things are there for the future."
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