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Guy who works from home introduces all-day breakfast

Nice to know that you can still enjoy some Froot Loops, even on your seventh break of the day.
(Shutterstock / Firma V)

BRANDON, MB—Nice to know that you can still enjoy some Froot Loops, even on your seventh break of the day.

That will be the situation going forward at 110 Symington Street, where Tyler Barrett works as a freelance writer from his home office. Barrett announced today that with respect to his ongoing, daylong grazing, he will no longer limit breakfast to the morning, especially because it involves many of his favourite foods.

"Say it's 2 pm and I'm craving a bit of a Danish," says Barrett. "Before today I would have said, hey, Tyler, no. You may work from home but you're a professional. Have some soup, or pizza, or maybe a pizza pretzel."

"As of today, I won't have to limit myself. I'll have that Danish, and maybe dip it in some sunny-side-up eggs too. Is it unconventional? Does it refuse to acknowledge limits? Sure, probably. But the way I look at it, so does the 8-part series of medieval-fantasy novels I'm working on. So."

When asked whether the other people who eat at this location were likely to take issue with this new arrangement, Barrett opted to look on the bright side.

"I mean, I haven't been having a lot of people over here? You know? To eat or otherwise?" he said, putting a question mark at the end of each sentence to try to phrase as complex issues what were just plain facts.

"I guess I would probably say that? Not a lot of people coming over to eat during the day? Or in the evening or morning? Probably I'm the only person I need to run it by because I guess it wouldn't come up much otherwise?" he said, continuing to speak each statement as if it wasn't quite as fully, exactly true as it actually was.

Asked whether this would also mean dinner foods could now be eaten in the morning, Barrett breathed a sigh of relief at the change of subject and spoke confidently.

"Absolutely. I'm looking to basically break down barriers and walls of all kinds—sort of the way Morgoth the Magnificent does in my 8-part series of medieval-fantasy novels I'm working on," said Barrett, gesturing toward a piece of paper with a lot of scribbling on it, and lines connecting various names.

"I haven't quite gotten around to starting the series per se, as I've only been working full-time on it here for a couple weeks, but I do know that in book 6—Sand & Sword & Spirit—he definitely knocks down a wall, literally."

"Mine's less of a literal knocking down than that, but yeah, I'll have some pierogis for breakfast or whatever, sure. Especially if there are some leftovers. I spend a lot of my writing time cooking, so there are lots of leftovers."

At press time, Barrett was asking whether the writer of this article was interested in joining him for a five-hour breakfast from noon until he kicked off at 5 pm, just to "get the ol' brain juices going, I'll bring the Danishes, I was going to hit up Costco tomorrow, sort of a work trip, so, yeah, that and then probably the day after we meet I'll get back to writing, I'll start writing."

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